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Archives for January 2017

Black hole again – or maybe gray

January 29, 2017 by Susanne 2 Comments

After being really motivated and excited to get moving on reaching my goals and changing things up I’ve had a not so good week or two. I can’t even point to a day where it started, I only know that I did not do the things I wanted to, started binge-eating again, and skipped exercise two times in the last week alone.

And I just don’t know why.

There was a moment when it dawned on me that my husband’s „Summer of Love“-project is starting to loom (there will be two performances in May), and maybe that’s when the overwhelm set in. Or maybe it was helping our son with writing a paper about a science project that took several hours over several days, and at the same time I tried to do all my own things on top of it.

And then I finished reading through the revised novel number one, and then I couldn’t quite decide whether I should write a few more scenes for that one, or start reading the rough draft of novel number two.

Of course a decision like that can make you not do anything for a week or two.

And I didn’t sleep well. Again. Woke up in the mornings, way too early, and was tired all day long. So that didn’t help as well.

So I decided to get my act together, and just do the things on my list, and get on with life. But it didn’t quite work, and this afternoon I found myself gazing at the computer screen, procrastinating like crazy, losing yet another day.

And then I felt that familiar thing again. That feeling of being paralyzed and unable to move, or do anything. In the past I have reacted to it by putting myself to bed for a day or two or three, telling people that I’m not feeling well. And I’d sit in bed reading and eating and drinking tea, and not feel better. Until the day when I needed to get up again, or got fed up by my own inertia, and then suddenly I would get moving again.

Only I found that sitting around waiting for the black hole to go away doesn’t really help. And that sometimes that feeling can last months or years.

So I learned to counter the black hole with exercise and with doing things, and with not eating too much chocolate. Taking care of myself by tackling the things I’m scared of and don’t want to do.

This afternoon still feels lost to me. And now that I’ve realized that the black hole has been sucking me in for more than a week I’m not all that confident that it will go away tomorrow.

Seems I have to make myself do things that feel impossible. Like sorting through the papers on my desk, and playing the piano, and writing a blog post even if it’s not a good one.

I have ninety minutes until dinnertime. I bet I can at least do most of the things on my list.

So how are you feeling these days?

 

Filed Under: life

Handmade – Episode 70: The seventh English Episode

January 23, 2017 by Susanne 1 Comment

http://creativemother.de/audio/Handgemacht70a.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

I have knitted:

  • Ocracoke: frogged
  • Austin Hoodie knitted, still haven’t put the zipper in
  • Pi-Tuch halfway done because I ran out of yarn
  • Deflect Socks: done
  • Rosenmütze done
  • Splitter: done
  • Autumn Leaves done
  • Spoke done
  • Tintenfisch done
  • plain vanilla socks for my husband: 2 pairs
  • Miss Marple Jacke: done
  • Dove Socks from handspun
  • Red Ocean Toes from handspun
  • Ringelsocken aus handgesponnenem Shetland
  • Braid Hills the second: done
  • slippers from handspun Corriedale: done
  • Vanilla Burgundy Socken: done
  • Ribbed Burgundy socks: done
  • Seidensocken: done
  • Spinach gone crazy: done
  • Lintilla: done, not blocked yet
  • Black Rib: started the second one
  • Sunny Socks: started the first one for the second time
  • Armande: done
  • Vine Leaves: done
  • Windschatten: started on New Year’s Eve, the second one is almost done

I have spun:

  • red cotton: more spinning
  • green merino/silk on the Bosworth Featherweight: about 3/4 spun
  • green BFL with glitter: done
  • first half of the BFL with the Pi-shawl is almost done
  • brown Ashford merino: sample skein on the Little Gem gesponnen
  • dyed by me burgundy merino on the Bosworth Mini: spun about 150 gram
  • Targhee by Etherische Öle on the Turkish IST Crafts started
  • brown Ashford merino: spun for the Miss Marple cardigan
  • red-white merino-silk on the Victoria: spun all the yarn for the Armande cardigan
I have crocheted:
  • Walden from handspun baby alpaca: done
  • Bolt: done, not blocked yet
  • crochet lap blanket:  Rectangular Granny Afghan
  • Jehanne again: done, needs ends woven in and buttons
 
I have sewn:
  • Swing-Kleid: one in purple and one in orange with red dots
  • burgundy Leggings done
  • orange-red striped and purple Leggings: done
  • Martha-Kleid: the first one is done
  • Alabama Studio-Top: still needs embroidery on the second side seam, and facings
  • cut out three pairs of leggings
I have embroidered:
  • Dropcloth Sampler „Knotted Stitches“: finished
  • Dropcloth Sampler „Filling Stitches“: started
I have woven:
  • tablet band from the „Applesies and Fox Noses“-book
What I talked about in the past nine episodes:
  1. Fiber-crazy yearly review
  2. Frogging! Panic!
  3. Knitting Apps
  4. Sewing by hand is great!
  5. Tour de Fleece review 2016
  6. Sewist’s block
  7. Kaizen, Namaste, and NaKniSweMo-Prep
  8. NaNoWriMo and NaKniSweMo yet again
  9. Fiber-ecstatic yearly review 2016

Filed Under: Podcast

Handgemacht – Folge 69: Faserverzückter Jahresrückblick 2016

January 14, 2017 by Susanne Leave a Comment

http://creativemother.de/audio/Handgemacht69.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Gestrickt habe ich:

  • Sunny Socks: der erste ist beim Zwickel
  • Vine Leaves: fertig gestrickt, Enden vernhäht, muss gewaschen werden und braucht Knöpfe
  • Windschatten: Silvester angefangen, der erste Socken ist fertig, der zweite angefangen

Gesponnen habe ich:

  • rot/schwarz BFL/Seide für Pi-Tuch weiter gesponnen
Gehäkelt habe ich:
  • Jehanne zum zweiten: fertig gehäkelt, muss noch Enden vernähen und so
Gewoben habe ich:
  • Brettchenwebband
 
Genäht habe ich:
  • gar nicht

 

Faserverzückter Jahresrückblick:

1. 2016 – dein Craftingjahr:

  • die Highlights: nicht wirklich Highlights, aber das vorherrschende Thema war, dass ich Jacken aufgeribbelt und neu gestrickt habe
  • Neues ausprobiert/gelernt? Das erste Mal gefärbt.
  • die schlimmsten Reinfälle: Beim Färben 500 Gramm Merino verfilzt.
  • Deine Lieblingsteile 2016: die beiden Swing-Kleider

2. Der Stash 2016

  • Zu- oder Abnahme? Weiß nicht, etwa gleich, schätze ich
  • Deine (Garn)Vorlieben 2016: Auch dieses Jahr habe ich vorwiegend handgesponnenes verstrickt. Ansonsten bin ich wieder zurück zu Merino gekommen. Weich ist halt doch am besten. (Außer, es verfilzt.)
  • Neuentdeckungen? Nicht, dass mir da gerade was einfällt.
  • Was ausgemistet? Mottenverseuchte Seide und alles, was ich eh nie verspinnen werde

3. Events und Aktionen

  • deine Highlights? Ich habe sowieso nur an der Tour de Fleece teilgenommen
  • neue Leute getroffen? Ja, ich habe Besuch aus Amerika gehabt, den ich über Ravelry kennengelernt habe (AlisaB)
  • weiteste Reise zu Craft-Events? (falls du gereist bist) keine Reise

So, und jetzt noch ein paar allgemeine Fragen zu eurem 2016, die nicht unbedingt aufs Handarbeiten bezogen sind. 🙂

  • Song des Jahres? Nö. Aber ich höre wieder die Red Hot Chili Peppers rauf und runter.
  • Buch des Jahres? Auch nö. Hier ist eine (bis jetzt unvollständige) Liste aller Bücher, die ich gelesen habe. Insgesamt etwa 120.
  • Drei Dinge, die du nicht hättest missen wollen?
  • Drei Dinge, auf die du gut hättest verzichten können? monatelange Hüftschmerzen
  • Was hast du 2016 neues begonnen? Färben, Zehnfingersystem fürs Tippen, Fingerübungen am Klavier machen, mehr auf tägliche Gewohnheiten achten und dadurch mein Leben verändern
  • Wovon hast du dich 2016 getrennt? von recht viel Kleidung und Büchern
  • Hast du ein Motto/Vorsätze für 2017? Und wenn ja, welche? Nein.
  • Wenn du sowas hattest: Wie hat es mit deinem Motto/deinen Vorsätzen für dieses Jahr geklappt? Hatte ich nicht. Neuroplastizität finde ich aber immer noch hochspannend.

 

Erwähnt wurde:

  • Motto-Monate-Aktion in der Podcasting auf Deutsch Gruppe
  • Applesies and Fox-Noses, das hervorragende Buch übers Brettchenweben

Filed Under: Podcast

Where my time goes

January 11, 2017 by Susanne Leave a Comment

I could say that getting more done on the projects that matter to me is a New Year's goal but then I've had that goal for ages, and remember that back in October I decided that I really need to spend more time on writing novels because otherwise I'll never get them finished.

Which is why I seriously buckled down in November, and found that even spending an hour a day on writing was seriously hard for me.

Now I should have lots of free time. I only teach about four hours per day, often less, I don't do much on weekends, I don't commute, I don't do a lot of housework, and so there should be a few hours per day free for things that matter like writing, and blogging, and podcasting.

Now I am still exercising quite a bit, about 45 minutes per day on average. That means on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays I don't schedule anything big in the morning because that's when I go walking/running, and on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I block off between twenty and forty minutes after work to do strength training.

Still, I'm usually done with breakfast by 8, I don't really cook, just help my husband cut a few veggies here and then, and eat lunch at 1. That's five hours of time, and even with housework and building a fire in the woodstove, and talking to my husband for an hour while he has breakfast, there should be an hour somewhere in there to work on something creative.

So I started writing down what I did in chunks of 15 minutes. I did start last week when it was still winter break. Even though I only did it for a few days, and even though I sometimes forgot to write it down that exercise was eye-opening.

After breakfast I'd sit there, knitting and reading, for three hours. Three hours! And then I went to my computer and spent an hour on the internet. And after lunch I went back to knitting and reading and surfing the web, and then I barely managed to do a minimum of piano and singing practice before squeezing the strength training in, then there was dinner, watching some show with my son, and then bed.

The first day that I tracked my time I spent six hours knitting, reading, and surfing the web.

Well, I like doing all these things but six hours is a bit much.

Now I'm teaching again, and of course the numbers have changed a little. Because I'm spending most of the afternoon teaching. As I should.

But still before or after every single thing I do, housework, practice, or teaching, I check e-mail, instagram, twitter and blogs. It is a bit embarassing, really.

Now I don't want to stop these things completely. I really like blogs and ravelry and instagram and books and knitting. I still want to do other things as well, like sewing, and weaving, and writing.

So I think I need to change things up a bit. Limit my time online. Not give in to check instagram and twitter quickly before starting something else because quickly is always half an hour or more.

I don't really want to use one of those programs that block your internet access. I've tried that in the past, and I always get around it in some way. It does help that right now I'm sitting in the kitchen (right after breakfast) and the wifi is still turned off but in the long run I will have to find a way to build new habits. Like leaving the studio five minutes after the last student, and not half an hour. Like not spending every single minute between students checking social media.

And most important to actually write and sew and weave and spin when I have thirty minutes here and there.

How are you spending your time? Are you happy with where it's going or do you wish you had more time to do what's important to you as well?

Filed Under: life

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Subscribe to Handgemacht » Podcast

Handgemacht mit iTunes abonnieren

Subscribe to know when Susanne’s next book comes out

* indicates required

Manic Writing & Such

500words-150w

Archives

Categories

  • birthday letter (3)
  • blogging about blogging (21)
  • blogher (1)
  • changing habits (53)
  • crafts (55)
  • creativity (37)
  • daily journal (1,045)
  • family (20)
  • fashion (15)
  • gender (12)
  • green living (8)
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  • health (20)
  • hear me sing (7)
  • just post (28)
  • knitting (47)
  • knitting patterns (2)
  • life (212)
  • lists (39)
  • meme (19)
  • mindfulness (1)
  • music (34)
  • NaNoWriMo (12)
  • parenting (39)
  • pictures (33)
  • Podcast (162)
  • procrastination (2)
  • project 365 (14)
  • projects (35)
  • Projekt "Farbe bekennen" (14)
  • reading (9)
  • Rhiannon (5)
  • script frenzy (2)
  • self-help (40)
  • sewing (7)
  • spinning (31)
  • story of the month (13)
  • travel (12)
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