Susanne

Nov 172018
 

Despite not quite getting enough sleep I felt much better yesterday morning.

But.

There was no internet. For once I had done the sensible thing when we realized the night before and hadn’t started trying to fix it – apart from rebooting the router once or twice but in the morning after breakfast I couldn’t wait any longer.

It looked like a problem from the provider side but I couldn’t be sure. So I used my cell phone as a hot spot and started trying everything I could. Changed two cables, Restarted the router, re-configured it, tried another one (though that one probably doesn’t work anyway), and then I sent a message to my internet provider.

Then I decided to order a new router just in case. A new router that was definitely not in the budget.

But.

Then the internet started working again. Turned out there was a problem with the provider after all.

I did manage to cancel my order and won’t have to pay for a new router. Which is very good.

Unfortunately, my husband had to eat his breakfast all alone without the chance of chatting with me because I was sitting in my studio trying to fix the internet problem. I also did not meditate.

I did manage to do most of the weekly cleaning, make frozen pizza (I get a dispense for being sick) and taught all my students including the singing student. After that my voice was almost gone but still better than the day before.

The boy and I watched Star Trek. My husband finally finished teaching all the students, the end.

Today there will still be no running but I’m hoping for the rest of the cleaning and also for being able to write all the words. And I’m hoping to feel better still.

It was a slightly weird week.

Nov 162018
 

I slept for about ten hours or so and felt much better in the morning.

I didn’t feel well, though. I’m hoping that things are looking up but who knows, maybe this cold is morphing into something else. Only time will tell.

So I spent another day mostly in bed. As much as I like reading and drinking tea not doing anything else is getting old.

There was chili for lunch:

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And then I went back to bed starting to read yet another novel (novella, actually, „The Furthest Station“ by Ben Aaronovitch because I had pre-ordered his new novel that came out that morning and then realized I hadn’t looked at the novella that came out a year earlier at all) – excellent read, by the way.

I started a load of laundry, ordered some stuff on the internet, taught a few students and that was it.

The boy had asked me, „Can’t you cancel lessons if you’re feeling like this?”

Well, I could. Only then I would either lose the money or would have to re-schedule and I’m not feeling bad enough for that. I did re-schedule the only student I could, by the way, and told the boy we’d do his lesson on Saturday.

And early to bed. No writing again. Things are getting a little urgent with NaNoWriMo.

Today there will be cleaning, I hope, and there will be frozen pizza because I decided I’m feeling bad enough to prefer the taste and nutritional value of cardboard over the energy it takes to make pizza from scratch. Then there will be all.the.students and then it will be the weekend.

There’s a concert tonight that we thought about attending and a birthday party that might have been fun and another concert tomorrow and such.

I’ll be here, at home, lounging around in bed instead. I’m hoping that I can make myself write again soon. I did buy yet another book on writing, „You’ve got a book in you“ by Elizabeth Sims that is highly motivating and almost got me to pick up my laptop again yesterday.

Nov 152018
 

After a rather restless night due to trouble breathing and drippy nose I spent as much of the day in bed as I could.

I did fold a load of laundry and put it away and hung up another one but I didn’t even help cooking. No writing. Completing NaNoWriMo is looking more and more unlikely and/or stressful. Lunch was rather tasty, though:

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I did call the optician and re-scheduled my Thursday appointment. And I decided to move the next podcast episode to next week as well. Sorry. And I’m perfectly aware that I should have written a patreon newsletter by now as well.

I have to say that sitting and reading in bed does become old after a few hours. At least I managed to start the first sleeve of my NaKniSweMo sweater. So at least one thing is showing progress.

Then I taught a few students (first student didn’t show, apparently she had forgotten about her lesson according to her mother’s call) and went back to bed. I did eat potato chips for dinner which was not my best idea but I do tend to eat for comfort when not feeling well. It is habit I’m trying to break, seems I’m not quite there yet.

Then early to bed.

Today there will be more lounging in bed, no grocery shopping, and some teaching. I’m hoping to feel better soon. This nose-thing is highly distracting and I’m starting to develop a cough on top of it. Not amused.

Well, I only need to write about 3,000 words per day every day until the end of the month to reach my NaNo-goal, so there’s that.

Nov 142018
 

When I woke up I felt pretty good and then my nose exploded. So this cold isn’t done yet, I just entered phase two. Didn’t feel well all day.

So no writing yet again because I just didn’t have the energy. I did go to the health food store and the optician and the supermarket and afterwards I just wanted to lie down for the rest of the day but I couldn’t. Those are the wonders of being self-employed.

My husband had planned to make chicken, potatoes, peas and carrots but when I came back home he was cleaning and peeling black salsifies from the garden (Schwarzwurzeln in German, I had to look the word up). Which took longer than expected. The boy had lunch with his grandmother, so we ate alone:

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The blob in the front is sauce. It didn’t like sitting around fifteen minutes before being eaten.

Then I taught all the students all afternoon. Then I went to bed early. Skipped another webinar. I’m thinking rest is more important than information at this point.

My sleep was a little disturbed by sinus issues. Fun!

Today I’m hoping for a little more energy, we’ll see how that goes. Definitely no run, and probably no podcast-recording tomorrow.

Nov 132018
 

I even woke up before the alarm.

Decided that I felt well enough to see the doctor to have my thyroid looked at. No writing. I’m trying to eat less sugar so I left the rice sirup off my muesli and it tasted good, even.

I wasn’t sure if I should take an earlier train to the doctor or one that would get me there just on time. Well, the earlier one would have been better because the one I then wanted to take didn’t go at all. I ended up being twenty minutes late. I did call the doctor’s office, though, to give them a warning, and it turned out to not be a problem because when the doctor called me she was apologizing that I had had to wait for so long. Um, no, I just got there as well.

No blood work this time, just an ultrasound of my thyroid. The nodes seem to be about the same size as before which is a good thing. I wasn’t sure if I should talk to her about how I’m feeling because I just realized that I’m basically feeling the same as I did last year when I went to the doctor. I’m a little better with the thyroid meds but I’m not well. My energy levels aren’t quite right, and I’m still a little foggy and I’m cold, cold, cold all the time.

I told her. She looked at the computer. Said, „Your test results are all fine, your TSH is fine, have you considered therapy?“ Um, yes, but that’s not the issue here. When I came home and told my husband he thought I was joking because before leaving I had talked to him about this. I wasn’t sure if I should tell her that I’m still not feeling well, and I told him that she would look at my test results, say that they’re fine and tell me it’s all in my head.

We agreed that I should come back in nine months for the next ultrasound and that I should see an endocrinologist in between. Oh, and I’m not looking depressed. (I never have. The years that I spent seriously depressed knitting on the kitchen bench? I was still going out, seeing people, doing my job and smiling. I’m really good at pretending to be normal.)

Yeah. Endocrinologist.

I’m also thinking about changing up what I eat. Maybe that will help. Well see.

After the doctor I went to the nice health food store and bought all the meat and all the spices and only very little chocolate for the boy.

Then I went back home, first waiting for the train that was supposed to be fifteen minutes late but ended up being right on time. Maybe that was the train before, no clue.

I did the dishes from breakfast and dinner the day before, helped making lunch:

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Improvised Thai-like thing. Our Thai curries were both off, we didn’t quite have enough coconut milk and my husband would have preferred chicken which we didn’t have.

Then I lounged about, re-knitting everything I did in the morning because of mistakes, then I taught my three students and watched ‚Doctor Who‘ with the boy.

We had a long, long conversation about school and about how to learn stuff for school because he came home for lunch telling us that he completely failed an economy test and a German test. He also got a C- on his last Latin test which made us all very happy.

So he explained what the problem is with learning for school in his opinion, and how he never gets what his German teacher wants. And I explained to him that we would be happy to help him, and that he doesn’t have to get things on his own and that I’m a professional teacher who studied how to learn and teach stuff for decades. He might not be able to see what’s important to learn for his German test but I bet I can. My husband and I used to game that system for years.

We made an appointment for looking at the stuff on Saturday. Since I’ve put it in my calendar I’m hoping that it will actually happen.

I’ve decided that while I don’t want to become a helicopter parent maybe a little hovering will be okay. My husband coined the term hovercraft parent.

We also draw up a plan to put Latin grammar into the boy’s brain as fast as possible.

Somehow I never got around to writing. I did feel better but I didn’t feel all well again.

Which brings me up to 2,600 words per day until the end of the month. Great.

Today there will still be no exercise but a rather full teaching day. Maybe I’ll go to the health food store in town. There really should be writing as well.

The sweater is coming along rather nicely, I’ll close the shoulder seams later today and start the first sleeve.

Nov 122018
 

Sleeping a lot did not prevent my cold from getting worse. My temperature was higher than the day before and I didn’t feel all that well. Therefore I didn’t do anything but read and nap. I’m almost through with Rachel Aaron’s „Minimum Wage Magic“ and I have to say it it really great.

Lunch was very good as well, stuffed bell peppers and rice and hamburgers:

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The boy and I watched Star Trek in the evening and I went to bed early. No, I didn’t write at all. I will have to make up for it later.

Now, the big question is if I feel up to going to the doctor later to have my thyroid checked. I’m still not quite sure.

I’ll only be teaching three students so that shouldn’t be too hard.

And that will probably be it.

Nov 112018
 

I slept until the alarm even though I went to bed early, seems I needed it.

I woke up with a sore throat, with some pressure on my sinuses and feeling pretty hot. I’m not running a fever but I’m definitely warmer than usual. (It’s actually weird for me to not be cold all the time, by the way.)

So no running. I thought I’d just do nothing and write all day. Which turned into doing nothing and reading all day. Hmpf.

The boy showed up late for breakfast and then we talked about school and what classes he should take next year and such for an hour.

We made delicious food for lunch, pasta with salsiccia and leek. The leek came from our garden:

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After lunch I took an actual nap and then I just stayed in bed. Then watched ‚Doctor Who‘ with the boy. Wrote not enough words and went to bed early.

I’m really hoping that I’ll feel better today instead of worse. We’ll se how that goes.

Nov 102018
 

I actually slept until the alarm woke me up at 6. That’s what happens if I turn out the lights around 9.30.

After my husband’s breakfast I started doing the dishes and cleaning the house right away and for the first time in three weeks I cleaned everything I had planned. (The house isn’t really clean as such, it is just not disgusting anymore.)

Then I took a shower and wrote a few words while waiting for my husband to come back from his run.

We went out for lunch and I completely forgot to take a picture of my food. Picture lamb shank, salad and rice with pita bread. The meat was so tender that I didn’t really need a knife.

Then we went back home, I did my singing warmup and made a second pot of tea and started teaching.

I did need the second pot of tea because I was starting to come down with a cold. I had a sore throat and the feeling of pressure in my sinuses. Great.

I taught all the students and counted myself lucky that I still had a voice. Even for singing. I have to say that I keep forgetting how much I enjoy making music. Since my week off last week I have been throwing myself into every song and piano piece with great joy.

After work I started waiting for the boy in earnest. I managed to start making his frozen pizza right on time. He looked rather tired but also pretty happy when he entered the house. Getting out of his room seems to agree with him, especially when he has the chance of meeting other people with similar interests.

He said that his presentation went fine and that several people told him so but he is thinking they were just trying to be polite. We tried to convince him that those people wouldn’t have mentioned the quality of his presentation at all if it had been bad.

I’d really like to infuse him with a bit of confidence but that isn’t really possible.

He talked a lot which is rather unusual and shows that he did enjoy his trip. Then he went to bed early because he didn’t really get enough sleep there.

As for why his backpack was so light for this trip? He forgot to take a towel. He did use the t-shirt he wore on the first day instead so it all turned out okay. He only realized that he could have bought a new towel when he was sitting at our kitchen table again. Funny.

I decided to skip writing in the evening once again in favor of an early bedtime, hoping that that would drive the cold away.

Today there will be running, and maybe I’ll go to the optician again to get yet another test contact lens. I have big plans for an afternoon of writing with maybe a little knitting thrown in and the watching of last Sunday’s episode of „Doctor Who“.

Nov 092018
 

It’s awful. It was fun but I knew it was a bad idea. So the day before I didn’t write a single word because I didn’t make myself do it in the morning and in the evening I decided to buy not one, but two new romance novels and then I stayed up late finishing number one and starting number two.

Guess what I did yesterday?

Finished book number two. The books in question are „Goodbye Paradise“ and „Hello Forever“, both by Sarina Bowen. Whose books I always read right through without stopping.

So I shouldn’t buy them when attempting NaNo.

Since that meant the second night in a row with way less sleep than I need it also meant that my energy only lasted until about lunchtime yesterday.

I woke up at five, tried falling asleep again, had a late breakfast, skipped meditation, did manage to do 20 minutes of strength training, helped make salad and leftovers for lunch and that was basically it for the day.

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I had a few students to teach and while I would have loved to do some writing, not only on my poor novel but also on my sadly neglected newsletter, it was clear that I was just too tired for it.

So I skipped the 9 pm webinar and turned the lights out early.

Of course, I will make up for two lost days easily. No problem.

Sometimes I’m really going on my own nerves. Yes, the books were great and I had fun reading them but it would ultimately been much better if I had spread them out over three days instead of 1 1/2 and had done what I promised myself to do.

I’m hoping to do better today. As I always do.

Today there will be cleaning, writing (for real), maybe practice, a lot of teaching, going out for lunch with my husband and waiting for the boy to return home in the evening. I don’t think we’ll watch ‚Doctor Who‘ I’m expecting him to be too tired for that.

And then the weekend. I decided to skip the spinning meeting in favor of more writing.

Yeah, I’m finding myself hysterical as well…

Nov 082018
 

Went to bed after midnight without flossing or washing my face and woke up at five. Of course. I did try to go back to sleep with no success.

No writing in the morning but I made good use of the time between my breakfast and that of my husband by calculating horizontal bust darts for my cardigan. Which meant I could knit said darts while my husband was eating breakfast.

Then I left right away for an appointment with my optician to check the test lenses I got. The whole thing isn’t over yet, I’ll get another lens to test next week or so. I could really do with the glasses/contact lenses stuff all sorted by now. Once we have hit the right lenses I still need new reading glasses to wear with those. And then I hope I’ll be set for a few years again.

The appointment went quickly and I went to the health food store while I was out. Then I came back and went for my run:

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Glorious fall weather.

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It’s funny how you can take a picture on my run that’s all nature and then your turn a bit to the right and there is civilization right there. With the inevitable construction. We are living in an area of Germany where more and more people are moving because there’s work to be had here. Now, housing is a different question.

I was totally set on running most of the time today but broke down again around the halfway mark and walked most of the way back. My husband has told me that he thinks that stretch of the run has to go downhill because he is always getting his fastest time per kilometer there. Well, for me that’s usually the slowest part of the run so I’m guessing – not downhill. (I could look at my Fitbit and see the elevation. I only never thought of it before.)

Came back home and only helped very little with lunch. Lunch was so good that I took seconds:

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Then I had planned to start writing right away but instead I fell into a bit of a slump, ordered some birthday and Christmas presents and did some other organizational stuff. Then I finally did the lunch dishes and practiced before I started teaching.

In my mind I only had a student or two but then I realized that I have a new student now and that another prospective student was scheduled as well. Things are looking up!

After work I changed into pajamas right away so that there wouldn’t be any danger of me falling asleep fully clothed again and gave in to temptation, bought a new romance book and read it all the way through.

Today there will be a pretty slow day as far as I can see from here, I’m planning to do a little strength training again, and teach a few students and start catching up with NaNo.

I’m also starting to miss the boy a little. Tomorrow will be my regular busy Friday but without pizza. Instead my husband and I will go out for lunch. The boy should be back in the evening again. I’m looking forward to that.