Susanne

Nov 242017
 

So I’m pretty happy because yesterday went very well. I went running even though I didn’t want to and afterwards felt much happier and more energetic. Also every day for the past few days my husband has made for lunch what I wished for. Well, he has been running out of ideas so he has been asking me what we should eat, but still.

And then there appeared a thread in the NaNoWriMo-group on ravelry for „Those who didn’t“. I’ve been thinking about giving up for more than a week now. Seeing that thread there, though, made something snap in me. There was still a whole week to go. There are people who can write a whole novel in a week. I mean, it is perfectly legitimate to decide not to finish NaNo, no shame in that, it was just that I don’t want to.

I don’t usually care all that much about accountability, and whether I reach the goals I publicly declare but NaNo seems to be a little different, I have won it every single time I did it, and I don’t really want to come out of November without at least the 50K. Even though I was sick for two weeks, and scrapped my novel after three days, and then spent about five days planning a new one rather sloppily. Even though I hadn’t even reached the halfway point with only a week to go.

I sat down and looked at my calendar, and things were looking dire. I knew I’d have quite a bit of time yesterday with only one student, not a lot of time today with all the teaching and the cleaning, and quite a bit of time on the weekend. I will probably not write a single word on Monday because that’s when I get my next thyroid exam, and I have a dentist’s appointment on Tuesday, so there will probably not be any writing that day as well. Wednesday is another pretty busy day, and on Thursday I had planned to record the next podcast episode. Also I really dislike writing a lot on the last day because so much can go wrong, and it is really stressful.

For a moment I was really disheartened.

Then I made a plan. It’s gorgeous, it’s insane, but it just might work.

I planned to write 5,000 words yesterday, 2,000 today, and 10,000 each on Saturday and Sunday.

Easy!

I did actually manage to write the 5,000 yesterday. I employed my little pomodoro timer and it went really well. Was fun even.

Doing the 2,000 today will be a little more challenging, especially since I already wasted an hour between 5 and 6 am (why yes, I woke up early again, yawn). Doing 10,000 a day is just insane, and I have never managed to do it before but I’ll try. And if I don’t quite manage that I will still have a few days left to do the rest.

If I give up – which I don’t think I will – it won’t be with a whole week left before the end. Nope.

Nov 232017
 

Still unbelievably tired. This is no fun.

Yesterday was a weird in between day because the boy didn’t have school but my husband and I were teaching as usual. I had a potential new student come in which made me somewhat nervous. It’s funny, I’ve been doing this job for ages now but I still get the jitters every single time.

Things went well, and she’ll start next week.

But being out of sorts meant no writing. I only started in the evening after hours and hours of procrastinating, and that meant I only managed to write 1,500 words. Things are starting to look dire, I still need to write 27,000 words, and while today should be a low key day with lots of time to write (not that I usually write a lot on those days) tomorrow will be rather busy, and on Monday and Tuesday I have doctor’s appointments that mean I won’t get anything done.

Of course everything would be fine if I just wrote 10,000 words a day on the weekend but we all know how that has worked for me in the past. Not.

So today there will be running, and teaching very few students, and the mailing of a package, and not much more.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this tired. Maybe back when the boy was a baby that never slept. There is no use in trying to stay up past 9.30 or so, I just fall asleep.

Fatigue has become this all-encompassing feeling threaded through every waking moment. It waxes and wanes but it’s always there. I’ve been trying to think energetic thoughts because I can’t do anything about it but it has only been successful a little at times.

Maybe in December I’ll try just taking a nap whenever I want to unless I am working. But if sleep were the answer I wouldn’t wake up that early, wouldn’t I?

So I’m very happy to have the doctor’s appointment on Monday, and the other one in mid-December because then I might find an answer or two.

Now I need to write. All the words.

Nov 222017
 

So I actually managed to write 3,500 words yesterday which is pretty awesome. Unfortunately I will have to repeat that every day until the end of November to make my goal.

But success!

Other than that I did skip strength training, and did not manage to wrap my sister’s birthday presents. Which have to be sent off today or tomorrow.

Today there will be running, teaching, and writing. Not a lot more. Well, the wrapping of the presents. I even remembered where I put my sticky tape.

I read something I wanted to blog about yesterday as well but then I totally forgot. I hope it will come back.

Oh, and one other thing that is rather exciting – at least to me – is that there is now a form to subscribe to my mailing list. So if you’re interested in hearing about my fiction writing you can sign up, and get an email when things become more solid.

I really hope I can make the boy move some of his stuff into his new room today. He doesn’t have school because of the holiday. He is somewhat reluctant because his new room is just so nice and pristine but I’d rather have my living room back some day.

Nov 212017
 

Yesterday was particularly busy with more students than usual on a Monday. I also tried writing every minute I got which lead to 931 words throughout the day, and a total of 1,503. Which is somewhat disappointing.

I even started writing in the morning. And I almost didn’t go for a run because of it. I was still at home when my husband came back from his run, and then he said I really should go even if it meant having lunch a little late.

So I went running, and I loved it even though it was pretty cold and muddy ouside. I should show you a picture of my running shoes, they look completely ridiculous, covered in mud over and over.

I managed to take a quick shower before teaching, and only had a short break between students in the afternoon. That I spent writing again.

I had an early dinner all alone because my husband wasn’t done teaching yet, and the boy had dinner at his grandmother’s, then I did all the dishes (no time for that after lunch), got myself into pajamas so that I wouldn’t eat or drink anymore that day (and also because I had been falling asleep while typing the days before, and waking up with a crick in your neck, and then having to still brush your teeth at 11 is no fun).

It was early and I thought I could still write about 2,000 words but I was almost asleep again by 8.45 so I decided to call it a day and go to bed properly.

I have slept very well, and woke up at 5. Since I am still wanting to reach my November writing goal (I’m not quite sure how but I’ll try.) I then started writing a bit.

I think I’ll have a little more time today than I had yesterday.

There will be grocery shopping, and errands, and a post office run (probably), and more writing. I hope.

This has been an unusually full November so far. And the whole „falling asleep at 8.30 each night“-thing isn’t actually helping.

Nov 202017
 

So my grand plan of writing and writing and writing didn’t quite materialize. First I downloaded a new game for my iPad which was a spectacularly dumb move, then I got interrupted every five minutes, and then I spent the whole afternoon putting furniture together and fixing it to the walls.

The good thing is that the boy’s new room is as good as done now. He needs to move his stuff upstairs but that’s all.

I did fall asleep while typing again last night, and only managed writing 1,000 words. Which is not quite enough. I’m just about to give up but then if I gave up I’d still continue writing this book, so it’s all the same. Also I always think of giving up in week three. Only I have never been that behind before.

I think in the long run I need to plan my writing so that I take a day or two a week completely off, and actually do the writing on the other days. That’s not an option for now, though, because of being behind.

Today I will go running, and teach a lot of students, and try to squeeze the writing in between.

One other obstacle to me getting words done has been the fact that I’ve been building a fire in the wood stove each morning. That involves about thirty minutes of sitting in front of it coaxing the flames to grow. That is perfect writing time going out the window right there.

I do love the warmth of the stove, though, and it is a good idea to start the fire that early.

So I guess I better stop writing here on the blog and start writing on the novel right now.

Nov 192017
 
Gestrickt habe ich:

Gehäkelt habe ich:

Gesponnen habe ich:
  • Lila Malabrigo Nube auf dem Louet Victoria

Erwähnt wurde:

Nov 192017
 

Yesterday was pretty good, though not quite as expected. I went for my run, and was a little lazy so there was quite a bit of walking in between running. After two weeks off I’m only slowly coming back to it.

Beforehand I had realized that I couldn’t upload the next podcast episode because with the firefox update the ftp-extension I was using was no longer working. I did find an app, though, and instructions on my web host’s site were clear and findable, so a few minutes later I was happily uploading. And it even went faster than before. Phew! I had anticipated hours of frustration.

And I changed the theme on my author blog. I’m still not entirely happy but this one is at least working.

Then we made lasagna. And found that we had run out of butter. Which meant that I went to the supermarket again, and also bought a dozen other things that we had run out of. Which meant that I wasn’t helping with the lasagna, which meant that we had lunch rather late.

Then I did all.the.dishes for half an hour.

I had planned to spend two hours on the boy’s furniture in the afternoon, to write shownotes for the podcast, and to write thousands of words on the novel.

Instead I spent four hours on putting the bed together, then had dinner, and then managed to write a thousand words before falling asleep.

Well. Today there will be the publishing of the podcast, some more work on the boy’s room, and I hope to write all.the.words.

Nov 182017
 

So yesterday was a very good day for a change. I had gotten enough sleep, I managed claning the house in time, I even tackled the dreaded bathtub which hadn’t been cleaned in so long that I can’t even remember, and looked really filthy, I helped making delicious pizza, I taught all afternoon, and I even wrote 900 words in between students in the afternoon.

The problem was that 900 words was not quite enough. In order to finish NaNo I will have to write 3,000 per day.

In the evening the boy and I watched another really excellent Star Trek TNG episide (Sarek), and another very good „How I Met Your Mother“-episode, and then it was time for me to go after the word cound for real.

I am very happy to say that I actually did write 3,000 words all in all. Phew.

Now I only need to do the same again today.

Today there will be running, and lasagna, and we’ll be putting the boy’s bed and desk together, and my husband will fix the shelves to the wall, and then the boy can move his things upstairs. Finally.

There are also plans of watching more Star Trek tonight. Instead of going out and seeing a live concert. Which makes me extremely happy. I always feel weird when I prefer to stay home over going out but right now I need rest and sleep and time alone to recharge (and time to write) more than I need stimulation, and seeing people, and listening to new music.

The listening to new music might happen anyways because there has been noise about listening to some Brahms tonight. Maybe „Saturday music listening for the whole family“ is becoming a thing.

Nov 172017
 

Yesterday I had another day of feeling really tired and not up to much in the end, so I decided to just go for a walk instead of a run. We had several people come over around lunchtime, as well, which made the day a little less predictable.

I did manage to record the new podcast episode. I keep forgetting that that’s something that costs energy too, podcasting is like performing after all.

I only had one student to teach, so that wasn’t strenuous at all.

In the evening I was so tired that I actually went to bed right after dinner (without doing the dishes). I turned the lights out at nine and manged to almost sleep eight hours.

No words.

I’m hoping to be a little more energetic today.

There will be the cleaning of the house, I will help my husband make pizza for lunch, I will teach quite a few students, and I hope to watch an episode of Star Trek and go to bed early. I know. Exciting!

The other thing that I’m all happy about is that my husband and I decided not to go out and see a concert tomorrow. I’m really looking forward to staying home.

I am hoping to find some time for writing today. The day is pretty packed, though.

Nov 162017
 

As planned I didn’t go for a run yesterday but instead spent two hours putting IKEA furniture together. Two shelves and a chair. Now there’s only the bed left, and the top of the desk. We’ll do that on Saturday because I need an extra pair of hands for that. I am sore everywhere. I can’t recommend not exercising for two weeks, and follow that by hours of carrying and lifting and using a screwdriver and a hammer.

IMG 0984

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Today I want to run, record a podcast episode, teach two students, write all.the.words, and go to bed early. In fact going to bed early might be a new life goal of mine.

Yesterday at least I managed to get two new scenes written. In the end I actually fell asleep while typing which tells you how tired I am. Yesterday or the day before I told my husband about my epiphany that getting to the roots of my health problems will take ages, and we both felt rather discouraged afterwards. Part of me is wishing for a magic pill that restores my energy. I sincerely doubt that will happen, though. And before the magic pill (which probably doesn’t exist) there are standing multiple doctor’s appointments, and each of them will mean weeks of waiting.

The good thing is that that means I get to take matters in my own hands. Finding way to manage my energy better will surely be a good thing, magic pill or not.

Which is just a long and convoluted way of saying that as of now sleep and rest have been given higher priority, and winning NaNo has moved a tad down. I’ll still try but I won’t lose sleep over it. The novel will be finished when the novel is finished. Typing while falling asleep is not helping.