Actually I am feeling distinctly zombie-like by now.
I got sick about a week ago, and so I had to cancel the Saturday knitting meeting. I am still having a cold but I’m feeling much better now. But then I had to go to two parent meeting-things in a row, one on Tuesday, and one on Wednesday, and to a doctor’s appointment on Thursday, and by then I looked to wrung out from not getting enough sleep and time on my own that the doctor asked me three times if I were okay.
Um, yes. I’m just so tired that I’m barely conscious, sorry.
Which meant that yesterday passed in a kind of fog but last night I got almost enough sleep, and I am feeling well enough that I only want to curl up on the floor to take a nap about once or twice per hour.
Those of you who have been following this blog (or know me in real life) know that I have been rather obsessed with getting enough sleep for years now. And I am getting better at turning the lights out at a reasonable time. Which doesn’t mean I am doing that every night. And these days when I go to bed on time I still might not get enough sleep because my body has learned a new trick:
I turn out the lights at 9.30 or so, I sleep really well, then I wake up wide-eyed and completely awake – one hour before my alarm.
Now you’d think that my body would be telling me I’ve slept enough, eight hours is plenty, go on with your life but I’m still all tired all day.
So I’m trying the „good sleep hygiene“-thing. No alcohol most days, no screens after dinner, no bright lights, get ready for bed early, then read in bed for a few minutes, I meditate every day, and exercise most days. Still. I sleep, I wake up, I can’t fall asleep again, I’m all tired all day.
And it’s not that I have thoughts running through my brain, or that I’m worrying in the middle of the night. I just wake up – bam! – and I’m awake. Very annoying.
Though I have to say that meeting people in the evening after work is always rather draining. And every time I meet with other parents, and hear their stories about their children, and themselves, and school I need days and days afterwards to rethink them, and make sense of them, and sort through them.
Every single time. Which is why I don’t go out to meet people all that often. Especially when it means getting home late and not getting enough sleep on top of it.
But both the meetings I went to felt necessary, and I did have fun while there. It’s only that I’m barely functioning the next day. And I if I do it two days in a row it takes me about a week to recuperate.
Now you might ask, „If meeting people is so draining to you why do you do it?”
Well. It might be exhausting but it’s also nice and fun. I like talking, and learning about other people, and exchanging stories. It’s just that I need a break afterwards.
As I said, today I am feeling much better already, and I will only teach very few students, and then I will have the whole afternoon and tomorrow to myself. Which will be glorious.
And if I’m lucky I will manage to go to bed early enough that I can get enough sleep even if I wake up at 5 am.
So what are your weekend plans?