• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

creative.mother.thinking

explaining my life to strangers

  • About
  • Handgemacht-Podcast
  • Privacy Policy
  • Impressum

Archives for September 2011

Handgemacht – Folge 17: Operation Rollkragen

September 28, 2011 by Susanne 9 Comments

http://creativemother.de/audio/Handgemacht17.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Neue Podcasts:

  • die urbane Spinnstube
  • Wooly Whispers
  • Twinneedles

News und Termine:

  • großes Spinntreffen
  • 3. German Raveler Treffen
  • meine VHS-Kurse: Perfekt passende Pullover stricken und Spinnen mit der Handspindel
  • Keltischer Sommer Socken/Celtic Summer Socks

 

Gestrickt und gesponnen und sonstiges habe ich:

  • Topfbrot gebacken (Rezept bei Anke Gröber und hier der Link zu dem ausgezeichneten Buch “Nudeldicke Deern“)
  • Deo gemacht (den Link hatte ich von Sallys Blog “Already Pretty“, der verweist auf das Rezept von How about orange; Link zu Reginas Blog (Ich habe für mein Deo 3 Esslöffel Kaiser-Natron und 3 Esslöffel Pfeilwurzmehl aus dem Bioladen vermischt, dann ca. 4 Esslöffel Kokosöl und 10 Tropfen Grapefruitöl. Einfach in einer Schüssel mit der Gabel verrühren, fertig.)
  • gewebt hier der Link zu einer Anleitung, wie man mit dem Gurtwebrahmen anfängt, allerdings auf Englisch, aber mit vielen Bildern und Videos und hier ist Lavernes Blog, auch auf Englisch, eine wahre Fundgrube
  • Ebony Turtleneck ist komplett fertig!!!
  • Rivendell rivendell
  • “Irgendwie Türkisch“, zweiter Socken bis ca. 15 Runden nach der Ferse,
  • Glomerata
  • Hopefully Enough Yarn, eine Strickjacke nach eigener Idee aus handgefärbter und handgesponnener Wolle handgefärbte Merino
  • Farbverlaufswolle weiter gesponnen, wird schon.
  • Polwarth von The Painted Tiger etwas weitergesponnen, die erste Spule ist jetzt wirklich so gut wie voll
  • Indian Summer weiter gesponnen.

Hier der Link zum Zugsocking von Stuttgart zur Wollmeise. Und hier Fotos von der Operation Rollkragen, die dann missglückt ist:

rolli 1

rolli2

Filed Under: crafts, knitting, Podcast

My one goal for the year – fail

September 22, 2011 by Susanne 7 Comments

So you might recall that at the beginning of this year I actually made a goal (and only one this time), I made it public, and I told you all about it, then I wrote a follow-up post, and then you just never heard anything more about it. In fact you didn’t hear much at all from me, and one of the multitude of reasons is that I will not finish my goal. Nor do I continue to try. I’ve had enough.

My goal was to, and I quote:

Lose 10 kilos of weight or more.

Until the end of the year, and then I’d do it all again next year, and stay at something between 64 and 70 kilos for the rest of my life. At least that was the plan.

For once I really was on a kind of diet but it didn’t last long, and sweets and beer kept creeping back. Actually, I’m telling this as if they popped up in my house like weeds, and the only way to get rid of them was to eat them. But that’s not the case. Fact is that I brought those things into the house, and I did it because I happen to like sweets and beer. And maybe, just maybe I happen to like sweets and beer more than losing weight.

The connection between what I eat or drink, and my weight is weird at best. I’ve had phases in my life when I could eat and drink like a partying teenager and not gain a gram, and other times I would gain weight the minute I ate anything vaguely food-like. I have gained weight while exercising daily, and I have lost weight while not exercising at all.

In fact if I were to evaluate my past “weight-loss successes” I’d say the one that worked best for me was being totally unhappy about my love life, so much so that I didn’t want to eat anything (worked three times, I think), closely followed by the time when I just concentrated on thinking about my music instead of being fat. One time I lost weight because I was afraid that my teeth would fall out from lack of nutrition. That worked too.

I’m still quite sure that my body would want to be somewhat lighter if I just let him, but I’m also extremely sure that

  • feeling bad when drinking beer is not the answer.
  • buying clothes that are too small is not the answer.
  • feeling bad while bingeing on gummy bears is not the answer.
  • setting myself a goal of not drinking alcohol for the rest of the year, and then downing not one but two beers two hours later is not the answer.
  • constantly thinking about how fat and disgusting I am is not the answer.
  • buying yet more books about weight loss is not the answer.
  • joining weight watchers is not the answer.
  • thinking that everybody who meets me thinks, “Oh my God, I can’t believe how fat she is.” is not the answer.
  • trying to take up less space is not the answer.
  • not going to the lake because I feel too fat for wearing a swimsuit is not the answer.
  • not having sex because I feel unattractive is not the answer.
  • living for a soon-to-be-here future when I’ll be feeling fabulous because I’m thin(ner) is definitely not the answer.

So I did several things this year (apart from not losing weight): I did start to care for myself again. I went to a couple of doctors and other health people, I got diagnosed with asthma which means I am now treated for asthma and I’m no longer afraid of keeling over from lack of breath. I also got myself treated for my hormonal/mood dilemmas. And all of that came back to the fact that I had thought I should be a nice, sensible, grown-up, mother-person. I thought I should take a step back from the limelight, be nice and kind, and mindful and all Buddhist about other people and my family. I tried to vanish into the background, and only do my own stuff in the small corners of my life.

Well, obviously my body doesn’t like me to vanish. I bet my soul doesn’t like me to either. So it made up for my lack of real fulfilling life by making me bigger. More cushioning is more protection, and maybe my body thinks that if it makes itself big enough I would eventually notice it again.

So I had been feeling like a total failure with the losing weight, and everybody says that you are supposed to have goals, and then follow them through all the way. And I didn’t.

And then I thought that I should concentrate on making music again, and art in general because I obviously need to, otherwise I get sick. No kidding. So I joined a group of women who are making art, and we made goals again, and I wrote them down, and I tried to follow them, and I started getting a bit weary about all these goals.

And then I read “Walking in This World” again. And did commit to do the program. I haven’t really started yet because I’m so busy. But just reading that had me thinking. Maybe being sensible isn’t all that good for me. After all it hasn’t really worked all these years, so why should it now. And would it really be so terrible to stay as overweight as I currently am? Healthwise I’m good. Women with a BMI of 30 to 35 live the longest and are the healthiest. I’ll just have to gain a pound or two and then I’m there.

And I thought that setting myself up for failure is really foolish. Telling myself that today I wouldn’t be eating or drinking something or other. When I knew deep down that I’d do it anyway later. So I quit. I quit all my goals, even the “make music for at least 30 minutes a day” goal.

And then I asked myself what I wanted to do. And I got myself a ukulele. Because it’s so totally silly and ridiculous, and it’s not about being a serious musician, and a virtuoso, and practicing hours and hours each day. It’s just about fun. And I love it. I am feeling a lot less unhappy these days. I also started weaving, and I’m reading tons of books about all kinds of stuff. Life is great again. And interesting.

And then, and this is really important, I found Ragen’s blog “Dances with Fat“, and a few days later my copy of “Nudeldicke Deern” arrived, and I had this feeling again that the universe is trying to tell me something.

I’m really fed up with feeling like I should be somewhat different. I think I’ll go and play and have some fun.

The most interesting thing is that the mood in the house has changed for the better ever since I decided to just do whatever I love to do at the moment. I eat what I want to eat, I play the music I want to play, I read the books I want to read, and I’m not living my life constantly checking all the lists and crossing things off. It’s totally great.

And I have been practicing this song all the time:

Filed Under: weight loss

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe to Handgemacht » Podcast

Handgemacht mit iTunes abonnieren

Subscribe to know when Susanne’s next book comes out

* indicates required

Manic Writing & Such

500words-150w

Archives

Categories

  • birthday letter (3)
  • blogging about blogging (21)
  • blogher (1)
  • changing habits (53)
  • crafts (55)
  • creativity (37)
  • daily journal (1,045)
  • family (20)
  • fashion (15)
  • gender (12)
  • green living (8)
  • happiness (5)
  • health (20)
  • hear me sing (7)
  • just post (28)
  • knitting (47)
  • knitting patterns (2)
  • life (212)
  • lists (39)
  • meme (19)
  • mindfulness (1)
  • music (34)
  • NaNoWriMo (12)
  • parenting (39)
  • pictures (33)
  • Podcast (162)
  • procrastination (2)
  • project 365 (14)
  • projects (35)
  • Projekt "Farbe bekennen" (14)
  • reading (9)
  • Rhiannon (5)
  • script frenzy (2)
  • self-help (40)
  • sewing (7)
  • spinning (31)
  • story of the month (13)
  • travel (12)
  • Uncategorized (62)
  • week in review (23)
  • weight loss (8)
  • wordless wednesday (9)
  • writing (24)
  • year of happiness (8)

Subscribe to Handgemacht » Podcast

Handgemacht mit iTunes abonnieren

Subscribe to know when Susanne’s next book comes out

* indicates required

Manic Writing & Such

500words-150w

Archives

Categories

  • birthday letter (3)
  • blogging about blogging (21)
  • blogher (1)
  • changing habits (53)
  • crafts (55)
  • creativity (37)
  • daily journal (1,045)
  • family (20)
  • fashion (15)
  • gender (12)
  • green living (8)
  • happiness (5)
  • health (20)
  • hear me sing (7)
  • just post (28)
  • knitting (47)
  • knitting patterns (2)
  • life (212)
  • lists (39)
  • meme (19)
  • mindfulness (1)
  • music (34)
  • NaNoWriMo (12)
  • parenting (39)
  • pictures (33)
  • Podcast (162)
  • procrastination (2)
  • project 365 (14)
  • projects (35)
  • Projekt "Farbe bekennen" (14)
  • reading (9)
  • Rhiannon (5)
  • script frenzy (2)
  • self-help (40)
  • sewing (7)
  • spinning (31)
  • story of the month (13)
  • travel (12)
  • Uncategorized (62)
  • week in review (23)
  • weight loss (8)
  • wordless wednesday (9)
  • writing (24)
  • year of happiness (8)

Archives

  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • December 2006
  • November 2006
  • October 2006
  • September 2006
  • August 2006
  • July 2006
  • June 2006
  • May 2006
  • April 2006
  • March 2006
  • February 2006
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Author Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in