May 262018
 

So there is still enough emotional turmoil that I tossed and turned all night and didn’t get enough sleep. I wasn’t feeling tired throughout the day, though, so maybe it was enough after all.

Things are looking up, though, we are settling down again, so that is good.

I did manage to clean the house but first when I wanted to change the sheets on my bed I found that there were no clean sheets in the closet. The other set of sheets was still lingering in the basement waiting to be washed. For two weeks. I decided not to get angry about the mismanagement but instead to find it funny and do a load of whites. The sheets should be dry enough some time today that I can put them on my bed. Crisis averted.

In the afternoon I sat down and plied the brown merino. It is all plied now and wound into a skein. The Giro was exhilarating. Wow.

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I also thought some more about my problems with running at the moment and my lack of motivation and my problems with gait and tempo and decided to change tactics.I won’t do a long run today but instead I will follow a ‚Bridge to 10k‘-app that I bought ages ago. It starts with running/walking intervals and might help me to get things straight. I haven’t found a way yet to connect my heart rate monitor which is a shame.

I did not write a single word, I decided to be gentle to myself and not push it. There must be writing today, though. It looks more and more unlikely that I will finish this story until the end of the month but that is probably not the end of the world.

We are starting to make plans, barbecue and beer garden and such, that will be fun.

I did two loads of laundry, so that was good.

No music, no writing. This should happen again soon. And it will.

May 252018
 

I was still feeling great and motivated and optimistic this morning when I woke up early after not enough sleep.

And then after breakfast the day started with something that threw me completely off kilter. Emotional turmoil all over. (Sorry, not my story to tell, nobody died or anything.)

So I went and returned the set of dpns I had bought the day before because one of the wooden needles had splintered so that the yarn kept catching. I have to say, the local yarn shop is super-nice, and they exchanged them for another set with no problem.

Then I went running and had another bad run. I felt weak again, not in the muscles, mostly in the head. I walked a lot and got angry at myself for not running further and inside I felt like giving up and sitting down right there. But I didn’t and so I did all five kilometers at a snail’s pace but I did them. And it was nice outside as it always is:

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Not all that sunny, though. But no rain.

After lunch I sat down in front of TV again and spun some more. I finished the rest of the singles that I will need, and tomorrow I will ply. So I can finish the cardigan in progress. I also made great progress on the bulky alpaca sweater. When I went to that meeting the day before I actually took the start of a sleeve with me as my project on the go. Worked well, apart from the splintered needle.

After that the boy and I watched something together, so I basically spent most of my day watching TV. Not the best way to spend a day.

I decided to not force myself to write and to go to bed early, which I did.

Today there will be the cleaning of the house and I will sit and spin again and then I will write some words. My husband and I even started to talk about how to tackle the living room next week. We will do stuff!

May 242018
 

How great that I got to prove that…

Woke up super-early yet again, and wanted to start writing right away. Did about 300 words while still in bed.

Made nice progress on the sweater I’m knitting, the body is done up to the underarms and so I started the first sleeve.

I went running. It was 6k instead of 5, it was really warm and for some reason I felt weak and a little meh. So I walked a lot and took it slow. My running app decided to crash again, some time after kilometer 4 and not only did I lose all data on that run, I also had to delete and re-install the app and all my progress was lost. Not good. I played around with a few other apps but I don’t really want to subscribe to anything, and so I am a little stumped right now. I will try if I can prevent the app from crashing if I don’t let it run in the background. Because when I still did that it never crashed. It did use more battery, though. Which might be a problem on the longer runs ahead. (And I just realized that I’m doing the wrong week of the training program. Should have done a 5k today, oops.)

But the weather was gorgeous again:

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In the afternoon I spun and watched the Giro and tried writing more words. Which I did. But not as many as I wanted.

And then I taught my one student of the day (still Pentecost break) and went off for that Stammtisch. By train because while my weather app had said there wouldn’t be any thunderstorms until 11 pm or so, this is just a weather app. It can’t really tell the future. And the sky didn’t look all that clear. Not like in the morning. Which was a very good thing because drops started falling from the sky when I was leaving the house and when I left the restaurant in Munich it was raining real hard. Only light rain back home but still. I wouldn’t have liked to be out in a thunderstorm with pouring rain on my bike.

I came home somewhat early but still went to bed way later than usual, of course. Only six hours of sleep.

Today I will run again, and basically do the exact same things I did yesterday. I will have to change my writing habits, though, if I still want to get this thing finished until the end of the month.

I’ll keep you posted.

May 232018
 

Rather good day. I woke up stupid early but that was alright because I fell asleep stupid early as well.

I had a leisurely morning knitting and reading while drinking my tea:

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This is the giant Carbeth Swan Dance sweater that I’m knitting. Bulky alpaca/merino. One of these days I might match my projects to the season I’m in.

Then I went grocery shopping even though the plan had been that my husband and son would do it this week. But my husband was totally overwhelmed by yard work and so I went first to the health food store where I bought very little, and then to the big grocery store with my bike and when I came back the bike panniers were so heavy I could barely lift them. Carrying the two panniers plus a full backpack, a package of toilet paper and two baguettes all the way from the store to my bike was, um, interesting. I didn’t drop anything so that was good.

In the afternoon I waited for my student to arrive for fifteen minutes and then plopped down in front of TV, watched the Giro d’Italia and spun. I might also have bought yet another book(Amazon-addiliate link). My plan to buy less books has definitely failed this month. I am very happy to have bought them, though. Now I just need to sit down and read them all.

Then I helped very little in the yard because when I went outside it was just in time to put everything away before the next thunderstorm hit. I can’t remember having that many even in the summer. The weather is going rather crazy these days.

Then the boy and I watched another episode of Star Trek: TNG, then I wrote, then I went to bed.

Today there will be running and spinning and writing and music and teaching one lonely student again. And in the evening I will meet a bunch of parents for Stammtisch. I’m hoping to go there by bike but the weather might not cooperate. And while I surely won’t melt when biking in the rain I am a little wary of biking through a thunderstorm. Especially in the woods.

May 222018
 

I did go to bed on time and woke up at six again. Yesterday was a public holiday here, plus we are having the next two weeks mostly off. (About three student during all that time.)

I had a really leisurely morning with a lot of knitting and reading, and then I went for my usual run:

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Gorgeous weather again.

I’m trying to get faster by running more and walking less but it doesn’t seem to be working. I am also experimenting with shorter steps which seems to be helping with my hip. No pain is definitely good.

In the afternoon the weather was still great, so much so that I spent most of it outside on the porch. Then I felt the dreaded afternoon slump coming on, soI folded a load of laundry and decided to go inside about half an hour before a thunderstorm that brought hail.

I sang a little but did not play the piano or anything, yet again.

Since I wasn’t doing anything productive anyway I did sit down with the spinning wheel in front of TV and watched a documentary. I have now spun half of what I think I need to finish the cardigan-in-progress.

I went off to bed way too early. The boy didn’t want to watch anything together, and so I retired to the warmth and comfort of my bed to write a few words and finish reading one of the books I’m currently reading.

Today I will be teaching one student. I also want to spin and watch the Giro d’Italia again, and if the past few days are any indication that will probably be it for the day.

May 212018
 

Yesterday I woke up early and had a rather unusual for me breakfast:

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Then I was reminded why I don’t eat that kind of thing often, I was starving by 11. So I ate a bit of cheese and around 12 my husband and I started cooking paella:

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Which was really great. And then the thing happened that always happens when I drink wine at lunchtime – I didn’t really get anything done for the rest of the day.

I did spin, though, which was good:

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Today I’d like to pick up speed, though. It will be a public holiday so I’m not sure how much I’ll get done but I think I have rested enough.

New week! Always exciting!

May 202018
 

Well.

I woke up as usual, had breakfast a little late and then went to the bakery to get breakfast for my husband and the boy.

Later I ran 13k. Well, I say that I ran it but the truth is that I walked a lot as well, as I do. Around kilometer four my husband crossed my way and we ran together a little. Only I’m a lot slower than him. He did give me a few tips concerning my gait, though, and I think that is making a difference. My phone started acting up around kilometer seven. Which is why I don’t have any pictures even though I took some. That was also when I started feeling thirsty. No, I did not take any water. I might want to find a way to take some when I’ll run farther than that. When I got home I downed three glasses of water right away. And I helped my husband make lunch. Veal cutlets, homemade gnocchi and tomato sauce:

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Very yummy.

After lunch I didn’t really want to do the dishes and instead I sat down to spin while watching the Giro d’Italia:

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The green polwarth has now been re-plied.

I had plans to go grocery shopping afterwards but I decided against it when it started pouring rain. So the boy and I watched some Netflix while I crocheted.

Then to the nearby grocery store for some emergency butter and garlic.Then the huge pile of dishes. Then very few words.

My legs might be a little sore. And I didn’t make any music today. But that’s alright.

Today there will be, well, not much of anything. I will still try to beware the afternoon slump.

May 192018
 

This was a very good day.

I think I’m starting to have more energy. Now, I don’t know if that’s the result of upping my thyroid medication or of skipping dinner.

I actually cleaned the house pretty early, so that I was all finished even with mopping the floors when my husband came back from running. Then I wrote a little before we went out for lunch, Today we did go to the Greek restaurant. This is just the usual one, where my husband goes to eat every other week:

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Yes, I only thought about taking a picture after I had already started eating.

Since the boy’s school had had a notice on its website that students would be off at 12.30 we hoped that the boy would join us for lunch. It was a good thing that we didn’t wait for him, though, we were done by the time his teacher let his class out. At 1.10. And they got to work right until the end. Boo.

The boy said he’d rather eat frozen pizza at home than Greek food at the restaurant so we all went back home.

Then I taught quite a few students. And then the boy and I watched „Star Trek: The Next Generation“ and an episode of „Big Bang Theory“.

And then I still had to write some more words before bed.

Today there will be running and writing. Other than that I don’t have any plans. Maybe spin and watch the Giro d’Italia. Or maybe not. I just have to take care that I won’t fall into the dreaded weekend slump. With Pentecost break looming that might take weeks to recover from. A two week slump has happened before. That is not pretty.

So I better put some more things on the to do-list.

May 182018
 

So a pretty good day overall if a litte cold and gray. I got lucky and only had very little rain on my morning run:

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Then my husband went all out and made Indian food:

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Very yummy.

And then I recorded the podcast as planned, had only two students to teach (the first one didn’t show, no idea why) and then I worked a little more on the podcast, did show notes and cut the video and audio and such.

The boy had leftover lasagna for dinner but I had – nothing.

I’ve been doing this for almost three weeks now, I think.

It all started with Holly Lisle recommending „The Obesity Code“* and „The Complete Guide to Fasting“*. You all know that after losing a large amount of weight between 2014 and 2016 I started packing it back on last summer. At the end I was eight kilos up from the weight that I had wanted to reach. Now, I know that I’m still totally within the healthy range, and that things could be much worse but then I really don’t want to end up gaining all the weight back in a short time. What if I gained eight more kilos until next summer? And then more?

Of course I tried losing it again, and I used the exact same strategies that had helped me in the past but somehow I just couldn’t do it.

So I read the books. You know me, I’m a sucker for books. And after reading them I decided to a) not eat snacks anymore (something I also did when I first lost weight), b) eat a little less carbs (only a little), c) eat nothing with added sugar (I still put rice syrup on my breakfast, though), d) only eat chocolate occasionally and e) eat nothing between lunch and breakfast.

Now, lunch is always our biggest meal and the one that we eat together as a family, so dinner is not as big a deal as it might be for other people. And my usual dinner was bread, butter and liverwurst with some extra cheese. Plus cheese a little later. And some more cheese later. And some almonds. And chocolate. And a little more cheese.

That was usually the time of day that I would binge-eat. And try to regain my energy by eating more so that I could still work on my novel.

Now, I did try to skip dinner in the past. My husband has always been doing this whenever he wanted to lose weight. And in the past, only a few months ago, I would skip dinner, and then start binge-eating two hours later.

This time my mindset must have been different. I already knew that I wouldn’t drop dead if I felt hungry for an hour or two. I regularly go for my run while my stomach is telling me it would like some food now. And I always tell it to be quiet and just wait an hour or two until lunchtime. So I knew I could do it. I was somewhat afraid of going to bed hungry and expected to wake up in the night because I needed to eat but that hasn’t happened yet. And I’m not particularly hungry in the morning either.

I also always got hungry around five in the afternoon, and since I’m no longer snacking and since I usually teach at that time I got used to just feel the hunger get bigger and then smaller again.

The first two days or so were not all that easy. I did stay away from the kitchen during dinnertime. And then my husband said he wanted to skip dinner too, so for the past ten days or so the boy has made himself a sandwich for dinner and has eaten it alone most days. He doesn’t mind, though.

And then it got easier. And then the five o’clock hunger went away. And now I’m pretty used to it. Which is really surprising. Who would have thought that eating nothing for dinner would be much easier than eating only a little? And my weight is going down. I have lost three kilos already. Even though I cheat on weekends and drink a beer instead of eating something. I know. But it’s traditional.

I don’t feel weak, I don’t get cranky, I have about the same amount of energy as before, and I feel really good. It’s weird.

Now, those books I linked above say that it’s not only the amount of food that you eat it is also that because we are eating almost constantly our body has to send out insulin constantly as well and that makes us gain weight. If you have longer breaks between meals your body can switch from storing for as fat to using that fat again. Now, we all know that a lot of sugar and other carbs make our blood sugar go up and down like crazy and that that makes you hungry all the time and so on.

I know that back when I tried the low-fat diet for weight-loss I was constantly hungry. I needed something to eat every other hour, no kidding. I was eating at least as often as my infant son. Now when I changed the way I eat to a low-fructose diet I suddenly was able to go much longer without eating. And I didn’t get cranky, or dizzy, or hangry. These days I am just feeling hungry and that’s it.

This is making me really happy at the moment. Yeah I know it’s weird. Not eating chocolate and sweets and walking around a little hungry for hours at a time should make me happy? But it does. I’m starting to feel like myself again.

And when something special comes up? Like last weekend when we had a lot of leftover pizza on Sunday? Well, I just ate pizza for dinner. And enjoyed it very much. And the next day I skipped dinner again.

Well, today is Friday, you know the drill, cleaning and music and writing and then watching something with the boy, I hope. Since it’s the last day before Pentecost break we might even go out for lunch. I’m really looking forward to that.

May 172018
 

I was basically cold all day. Except for the time I went running in the rain.

I woke up early again and promptly forgot to take my thyroid medication which meant that my breakfast was delayed half an hour. Not a big deal. After breakfast I did some research for a project that I want to start next week.

The the running. My phone doesn’t like the rain even inside my pocket and the running app was acting weirdly for the last kilometer. So my running app thinks that I ran only 4.3 k but I know better.

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Then my husband and I made lasagna which is always a big undertaking. It was rather good, so totally worth it:

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Yes, that’s an actual glass of wine. We made an exception because of the special meal. My family is so used to me taking pictures of my food by now that my husband even moved the bottle away so the light would be better. So there wouldn’t be as much shade on the salad.

After that there was quite a bit of teaching, only a little less than yesterday.

Then writing and bed. And reading, always reading. I seem to be on a non-fiction kick again, I haven’t touched any of the many novels I’m currently reading for two days or so. I can’t even decide what reading mood I’m in.

Today I will run again and hopefully record the podcast. It would be fabulous if I managed to get the rest of the groceries but I seriously doubt that will happen. Then mild teaching and then I will probably be spent.

And then one more day until Pentecost break.