Feb 212018
 

The nicest thing yesterday was getting a package from a podcast listener as a thank you for 99 episodes. That totally made my day. I can’t wait to knit socks from that beautiful yarn.

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When I went to bed yesterday – way too late without having written a word and after having forgotten to play the piano – I thought that I failed to get anything done.

Then this morning I realized that I had not spent the afternoon wasting time on the internet but that I had instead installed a new theme on all three websites and had started researching pictures for book covers. Which is not the same as spending an hour reading blogs. I also read a ton of blog posts about marketing.

It might not have been the most pressing thing to do that day but it was time spent on moving something important forward. By an inch or so.

In the evening I was too tired to write and of course thought that would get better by having a beer and even more chocolate. (Yesterday was so full of chocolate that that would have been enough energy for the whole day. I did eat three square meals as well, though.)

Turned out that didn’t make me less tired. And I didn’t write.

I am a little cross with myself.

The good thing is that I did strength training for the first time since the beginning of the month. And the boy did it too but in a different room.

Today I want to do all the usual things plus an extra helping of writing. Unfortunately I will have even less time than yesterday. There will be running, and writing (never give up hope), and lots of teaching, and practice (I hope, that has been spotty lately), and after teaching I will eat a quick sandwich before leaving for MENSA parent meeting. Those always depress me because the people whose kids are happy and problemfree don’t come to those meetings. Then I spend weeks thinking about each of them but mostly never see them again.

Then I will go to bed way too late yet again which will mean that I won’t get anything done again tomorrow.

Of course right now I’m still thinking everything will turn out different than usual.

Yeah. Sure.

Feb 202018
 

Nothing really remarkable yesterday. I did manage to write my 500 words at the last minute again, and this morning I woke up thinking that I don’t like them and might throw them out again. Which is okay.

It feels like I didn’t really do anything yesterday but I did a ton of little tasks, and helped the boy get his application into shape. I’m hoping to send that off today.

Today there will be grocery shopping and all the usual and teaching and practicec, and then we’ll see. Oh, and writing, of course. And strength training would be very good. I’m not quite sure if I should leave that until evening so that the boy can join me, or if that will just mean I won’t do it because he has something more important to do instead.

I almost got enough sleep.

Better than nothing I guess.

I started reading a new book two days ago and am just about to decide to abandon it altogether. Which I almost never do. It isn’t even all that bad, I’m just not really interested in learning more about the main character or the story.

Since I have all these really great unread books on my ereader I’m thinking this isn’t worth it.

Rather unusual that.

Feb 192018
 

Yesterday started well but then over breakfast we had one of those teenager/parent-clashes that made all of us angry and sad and confused for the rest of the day.

Which meant that I didn’t get anything done.

I did eat every morsel of food in the house, though.

But I finished a sock. And it only took me seven hours in total.IMG 1171

And my favorite pot to brew herbal tea in broke. There was a ton of clean dishes and pots and such on the windowsill, someone pushed against the huge cutting board without meaning to and made the everything slide. That person managed to catch the pot, by the way, but an hour later another person did the same thing and did not catch the pot. I will have to buy a new glass teapot.

At least I managed to finish the yarn for the slippers and I really like it but it’s probably too thin.

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And I watched some more of the book cover design course. I need to find some time to sit down and actually try things out but so far I’m still a little too scared and overwhelmed. The guy who does the course uses Photoshop, of course, which I don’t want to spend my money on, so I’m trying to do the same things in Photoshop Elements, and – well – there’s a reason it’s much cheaper…

At least the boy and I managed to watch that episode of Star Trek that we started watching a week ago. I finally hooked the DVD player up to the TV, and he got the whole authentic nineties experience. Watching things in HD is really much nicer. But the DVD has bad spots and doesn’t work on the laptop. I’m thinking about ways to remedy that, though.

Then I waited for the boy to finish taking a shower so that I could do the dishes, tried writing, and ended up eating a whole bag of toritlla chips and half a cheese, sat around until an hour after my bedtime and decided to go to bed without tidying the kitchen. Funny enough my weight has been going up again. I wonder why that is.

But. This is a new week, so I get a fresh start.

It is eight in the morning, I will tackle the epic pile of dirty dishes next, and get a grip.

There will be running, and music, and writing, and thinking, and I will help the boy finish his application. He needs an internship in four weeks. This will be, um, interesting.

There will also be teaching. And the structure of school days again, always a good thing.

And tonight there won’t be any beer, and only very little chocolate, and I will be in bed with teeth brushed and flossed, and with my face washed before ten.

Yep.

Feb 182018
 

Yesterday was another very good day. The only thing I did not do was watch more of the book cover design course but that’s okay.

I ran for the first time after having been sick most if the week, and it was fabulous. I only did five kilometers because I feel a cold coming up.IMG 1169

We had chili for lunch, and in the afternoon I spent most of my time recording the long English episode. Then I spun the rest of the BFL, watched „Dollhouse“ and wrote more than a thousand words before going to bed no too late.

Very good day.

I’m not quite sure about today I had plans but I’m thinking they might be a little much so maybe I’ll buckle down with the design course, ply the slipper yarn and enjoy the last day of carnival break.

We’ll see.

Feb 172018
 

Well, making that list yesterday and getting clarity about my goals and such really helped.

I actually managed to do the weekly cleaning, and most of it even before lunch. And I took a shower and washed my hair early enough that my hair was almost dry when we went out, even. Did not put on makeup but that’s okay.

After lunch I immediately did the dishes, and then went on to watch the book cover design course. Only got through 1 1/2 hours but that’s okay. I multitasked and painted my toenails while watching and spun the next 25 grams of BFL for the slippers I want to make.

Did actually practice, too, ate dinner alone because my husband got chatting with a student and after waiting for half an hour I was too hungry to wait longer. Then I watched 1 1/2 episodes of „Dollhouse“.

I don’t remember the second season as vividly as the first one, I guess I might have watched the first one twice in the past. Still, excellent show and I’m enjoying it tremendously.

The boy managed to get away to his poker night on time, and with everything he’d need. This time for the first time I told him to look up which train to take himself. He can use the internet same as me, I think it’s time he’s becoming a little more independent.

In the evening I had an attack of „I’m the worst writer ever.“ which told me that I need to get back to writing. Which I did. And now I’m feeling a little better about it. Duh.

Today I want to go for a run again, first time since Monday. I also want to make music and write, if only a little, and I will record the epic English podcasting episode. I might watch a bit more of the the book cover design course but definitely not two hours of it like I planned because that would mean I’d spend my whole evening doing that.

I’d like to write another 500 words or so, and to see how long that will take me.

I have high hopes of turning out the lights around ten.

This is the life.

Feb 162018
 

I’ve reached the point of my week off where I’m totally over it. Also I’d like a chance to start the week again, please.

Yesterday I did an epic grocery shopping expedition to the bigger supermarket that’s farther away. I am getting better at finding my way around it but it still took me 1 1/2 hours.

I spent the afternoon eating way too much chocolate and procrastinating about making a list for the English podcast episode. As usual the procrastinating took about twice as long as making the list.

Still, I decided to let go of my fancy plans and goals for this week. Being sick is being sick, and if I don’t get something done things are not going to get better because I’m angry at myself. I can just try to do a little better today.

I also looked at how much time there was left in the book cover design course, and saw that I still have about six more hours of it to watch. And that’s before I start practicing what I learned.

Since there are three days left in the week I’m planning to spend two hours a day on watching the course, only about fifteen to thirty on writing (didn’t write all week) and to not try doing everything at once.

I also decided that the deadline for my podcast is not a hard one. I might record the English episode today, or maybe tomorrow, we’ll see. But I might only publish it next weekend, and wait another two weeks for the one after that. Being somewhat sick is a completely valid reason for moving things around a little.

Having so many projects going on at once that my head feels like it’s exploding doesn’t help any of them. At the moment I’m actively thinking about or working on:

  1. the novel that I’m currently writing,
  2. the novel that I just finished in rough draft that I need to revise
  3. the novel that I want to put out in installments for free
  4. the BFL yarn that I’m spinning for slippers
  5. the purple merino yarn that I’m spinning for a light cardigan
  6. the burgundy merino yarn that I’m spinning for another cardigan
  7. the pair of socks that I’m knitting for my husband
  8. the pair of socks that I’m knitting for myself
  9. the addtional squares I started crocheting for the Sophie’s Universe blanket
  10. the crochet blanket I’m making for my son
  11. the muslin for that damn dress that I want to finish
  12. the pattern that I want to draft for the other dress that I want to make
  13. de-cluttering (mostly on hold, I just think about sorting through that last pile of CDs about six times a day)
  14. getting the boy to study Latin and deal with his application ffor the internship
  15. recording and publishing the next English podcast episode
  16. trying something new for the podcast episode after that
  17. finishing the book cover design course, and trying my hand at designing covers
  18. various tech and computer-related things like hooking the DVD player up witht the TV again, getting the DSLR to record video and such

There is more but this is what’s in the forefront of my mind. No wonder I’ve been so scattered.

It will all get done eventually, but I might apply my time and energy a little more focused so I see results. I have to say that the textile projects for the most part don’t feel like they’re weighing me down. There are a lot of them, though.

Time to make that epic to do list, I guess. Maybe I should put that on the list for today…

Feb 152018
 

So I thought I was mostly well again but when I started doing the dishes after breakfast it became clear that going grocery shopping would not be a good idea that day.

The good thing is that we didn’t starve.

Of the three students I had expected one didn’t show up but the others did. Otherwise I watched two parts of the book cover design workshop, and started a new spinning project because I want to knit myself a new pair of slippers. As one does. Funny enough spinning bulky yarn – even if it’s cabled – goes much faster than my usual extra fine yarn. I’m almost halfway done with the singles already.

Other than that I was not productive at all yesterday, no music, no writing, no nothing.

I think I’m feeling better today. The plan is to do the grocery shopping this morning, and then to record the next English podcast episode this aftenroon. Never mind that I still need to prepare for this.

Writing would also be a good thing.

Not quite the week I envisioned but then I’m happy to have the time to lounge in bed to get better.

Feb 142018
 

So yesterday went completely different than planned because by mid-morning it became clear that I have the same infection my husband has.

So I spent most of the day in bed nauseous with a headache. Otherwise I felt pretty good.

I had actually bought more Krapfen for breakfast (well, my second breakfast), and then went out again later to go to the health food store. And then to bed, and spent the rest of the day there watching youtube videos about tiny houses. And didn’t get cranky which told me that doing nothing was the right thing for that day.

Today I’m feeling much better but not completely well yet so I will probably skip running, go to the supermarket instead, and this afternoon will teach three students. And prepare the next epic English episode of the podcast.

Sounds like a plan.

Feb 132018
 

And still not celebrating. But planning on getting even more Faschingskrapfen. Though I have to say that the two I ate yesterday were a bit much. At least I only ate a little dinner because of that.

My run went well even if I started late:

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Lunch was marvelous:

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Teching went well, and then I spontaneously decided to print out the paranormal cozy mystery I just finished writing. Well, the rough draft that is, and now I have a lovely binder full of story that I need to revise:

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And that was mostly it for the day. When you print something like that you need to check the printer and take out the pages and refill paper, and all that jazz. Then it was time for dinner which consistet of cheese in front of TV. In between I looked into every single old notebook I own because I’m sure I wrote down how to connect the DVD player to the TV somewhere but I didn’t find it.

I even stumbled over a notebook that I had bought 1999 in Brazil, and one that had all kinds of citations for my ill-fated PhD in it. My life has sure changed a lot. I also found one of those fat notebooks that I keep next to my computer instead of using tons of small notes, and I think I might have to add an index to these as well because it’s completely impossible to find anything in those.

I really love the bullet journal.

But it also showed me that my system of writing things down hasn’t changed that much. I have kept a general notebook for decades now, I think I started that when I started going to university because I was always losing pieces of paper, and I found that having one notebook to hold it all was much better. And since I had a somewhat nomadic lifestyle then I didn’t want to carry around several notebooks all the time, and so I have notebooks with to do-lists, and sewing projects, and study assignments and and song ideas all next to each other, each neatly labeled with the date.

And my handwriting has changed a lot I find. Not that I’m all that thrilled with how it is looking at the moment, improving my handwriting is also on the list of things that would be great to do.

Not today, though.

Today there will be the grocery shopping (all the grocery shopping), and writing, and strength training, and watching the book cover workshop some more, and singing and such, and maybe the hooking up the DVD player to the TV which means I will first have to get all the dust off all the electronics first.

I’d also love to not procrastinate about writing until bedtime, and to not leave the dishes dirty over night. Bonus points for that.

Feb 122018
 

Not that we celebrate.

Today will be a pretty normal Monday with only two students.

Yesterday I didn’t do anything all day but surf the web, read, spin, and knit. And watch Star Trek.

I also talked to my mother on the phone, and she asked me to come visit even though I had already told her I didn’t want to this year.

And now I have spent a whole day agonizing over it, and I guess I’ll be seeing them over Easter. She also said I could stay at theor place which I definitely don’t want because theor house is extremely small, and that would mean either shring a bed with my mother or staying in my father’s cramped and overflowing office.

I do need quite a bit of time alone every day, even here at home, so nope. I’ll look for a bed and breakfast. Even though I won’t need the breakfast.

When we were talking about this, and how I don’t really want to see them, especially because my father has gotten a pain to be around (I’m suspecting beginning dementia) my husband said, „You should think about how you would feel if they died soon and you hadn’t seen them this year.”

Not that I think I’d regret it but that got me thinking. Traveling there, even with the eight hours of train rides and the days of sitting around being bored and exasperated, and the week I will need afterwards to feel like myself again, might not be that much of a sacrifice.

I’m sad for them that none of their children really wants to spend time with them. And I really hope that my own relationship to my son will not deterioate like that. That he’ll continue to enjoy spending time with us. I’ll do my best in any way.

So. Today there will be running, and music, and teaching two students, and spinning, and writing, and all kinds of things. Cleaning and changing the sheets might be a good idea as well.

Not quite sure if I should send the boy out to get the traditional Faschingskrapfen. Might be nice. We only ever eat them on carnival. Maybe I should make some myself but they need to be deep fried and I never quite know what to do with all the oil afterwards.

Nah, maybe next year.

It’s funny with us, we don’t clebrate carnival at all (I guess you really need to be catholic for that.) for us it’s all about the food.