creative.mother.thinking

Despite not quite getting enough sleep I felt much better yesterday morning.

But.

There was no internet. For once I had done the sensible thing when we realized the night before and hadn’t started trying to fix it – apart from rebooting the router once or twice but in the morning after breakfast I couldn’t wait any longer.

It looked like a problem from the provider side but I couldn’t be sure. So I used my cell phone as a hot spot and started trying everything I could. Changed two cables, Restarted the router, re-configured it, tried another one (though that one probably doesn’t work anyway), and then I sent a message to my internet provider.

Then I decided to order a new router just in case. A new router that was definitely not in the budget.

But.

Then the internet started working again. Turned out there was a problem with the provider after all.

I did manage to cancel my order and won’t have to pay for a new router. Which is very good.

Unfortunately, my husband had to eat his breakfast all alone without the chance of chatting with me because I was sitting in my studio trying to fix the internet problem. I also did not meditate.

I did manage to do most of the weekly cleaning, make frozen pizza (I get a dispense for being sick) and taught all my students including the singing student. After that my voice was almost gone but still better than the day before.

The boy and I watched Star Trek. My husband finally finished teaching all the students, the end.

Today there will still be no running but I’m hoping for the rest of the cleaning and also for being able to write all the words. And I’m hoping to feel better still.

It was a slightly weird week.

After a rather restless night due to trouble breathing and drippy nose I spent as much of the day in bed as I could.

I did fold a load of laundry and put it away and hung up another one but I didn’t even help cooking. No writing. Completing NaNoWriMo is looking more and more unlikely and/or stressful. Lunch was rather tasty, though:

I did call the optician and re-scheduled my Thursday appointment. And I decided to move the next podcast episode to next week as well. Sorry. And I’m perfectly aware that I should have written a patreon newsletter by now as well.

I have to say that sitting and reading in bed does become old after a few hours. At least I managed to start the first sleeve of my NaKniSweMo sweater. So at least one thing is showing progress.

Then I taught a few students (first student didn’t show, apparently she had forgotten about her lesson according to her mother’s call) and went back to bed. I did eat potato chips for dinner which was not my best idea but I do tend to eat for comfort when not feeling well. It is habit I’m trying to break, seems I’m not quite there yet.

Then early to bed.

Today there will be more lounging in bed, no grocery shopping, and some teaching. I’m hoping to feel better soon. This nose-thing is highly distracting and I’m starting to develop a cough on top of it. Not amused.

Well, I only need to write about 3,000 words per day every day until the end of the month to reach my NaNo-goal, so there’s that.

I even woke up before the alarm.

Decided that I felt well enough to see the doctor to have my thyroid looked at. No writing. I’m trying to eat less sugar so I left the rice sirup off my muesli and it tasted good, even.

I wasn’t sure if I should take an earlier train to the doctor or one that would get me there just on time. Well, the earlier one would have been better because the one I then wanted to take didn’t go at all. I ended up being twenty minutes late. I did call the doctor’s office, though, to give them a warning, and it turned out to not be a problem because when the doctor called me she was apologizing that I had had to wait for so long. Um, no, I just got there as well.

No blood work this time, just an ultrasound of my thyroid. The nodes seem to be about the same size as before which is a good thing. I wasn’t sure if I should talk to her about how I’m feeling because I just realized that I’m basically feeling the same as I did last year when I went to the doctor. I’m a little better with the thyroid meds but I’m not well. My energy levels aren’t quite right, and I’m still a little foggy and I’m cold, cold, cold all the time.

I told her. She looked at the computer. Said, „Your test results are all fine, your TSH is fine, have you considered therapy?“ Um, yes, but that’s not the issue here. When I came home and told my husband he thought I was joking because before leaving I had talked to him about this. I wasn’t sure if I should tell her that I’m still not feeling well, and I told him that she would look at my test results, say that they’re fine and tell me it’s all in my head.

We agreed that I should come back in nine months for the next ultrasound and that I should see an endocrinologist in between. Oh, and I’m not looking depressed. (I never have. The years that I spent seriously depressed knitting on the kitchen bench? I was still going out, seeing people, doing my job and smiling. I’m really good at pretending to be normal.)

Yeah. Endocrinologist.

I’m also thinking about changing up what I eat. Maybe that will help. Well see.

After the doctor I went to the nice health food store and bought all the meat and all the spices and only very little chocolate for the boy.

Then I went back home, first waiting for the train that was supposed to be fifteen minutes late but ended up being right on time. Maybe that was the train before, no clue.

I did the dishes from breakfast and dinner the day before, helped making lunch:

Improvised Thai-like thing. Our Thai curries were both off, we didn’t quite have enough coconut milk and my husband would have preferred chicken which we didn’t have.

Then I lounged about, re-knitting everything I did in the morning because of mistakes, then I taught my three students and watched ‚Doctor Who‘ with the boy.

We had a long, long conversation about school and about how to learn stuff for school because he came home for lunch telling us that he completely failed an economy test and a German test. He also got a C- on his last Latin test which made us all very happy.

So he explained what the problem is with learning for school in his opinion, and how he never gets what his German teacher wants. And I explained to him that we would be happy to help him, and that he doesn’t have to get things on his own and that I’m a professional teacher who studied how to learn and teach stuff for decades. He might not be able to see what’s important to learn for his German test but I bet I can. My husband and I used to game that system for years.

We made an appointment for looking at the stuff on Saturday. Since I’ve put it in my calendar I’m hoping that it will actually happen.

I’ve decided that while I don’t want to become a helicopter parent maybe a little hovering will be okay. My husband coined the term hovercraft parent.

We also draw up a plan to put Latin grammar into the boy’s brain as fast as possible.

Somehow I never got around to writing. I did feel better but I didn’t feel all well again.

Which brings me up to 2,600 words per day until the end of the month. Great.

Today there will still be no exercise but a rather full teaching day. Maybe I’ll go to the health food store in town. There really should be writing as well.

The sweater is coming along rather nicely, I’ll close the shoulder seams later today and start the first sleeve.

I slept until the alarm even though I went to bed early, seems I needed it.

I woke up with a sore throat, with some pressure on my sinuses and feeling pretty hot. I’m not running a fever but I’m definitely warmer than usual. (It’s actually weird for me to not be cold all the time, by the way.)

So no running. I thought I’d just do nothing and write all day. Which turned into doing nothing and reading all day. Hmpf.

The boy showed up late for breakfast and then we talked about school and what classes he should take next year and such for an hour.

We made delicious food for lunch, pasta with salsiccia and leek. The leek came from our garden:

After lunch I took an actual nap and then I just stayed in bed. Then watched ‚Doctor Who‘ with the boy. Wrote not enough words and went to bed early.

I’m really hoping that I’ll feel better today instead of worse. We’ll se how that goes.

It’s awful. It was fun but I knew it was a bad idea. So the day before I didn’t write a single word because I didn’t make myself do it in the morning and in the evening I decided to buy not one, but two new romance novels and then I stayed up late finishing number one and starting number two.

Guess what I did yesterday?

Finished book number two. The books in question are „Goodbye Paradise“ and „Hello Forever“, both by Sarina Bowen. Whose books I always read right through without stopping.

So I shouldn’t buy them when attempting NaNo.

Since that meant the second night in a row with way less sleep than I need it also meant that my energy only lasted until about lunchtime yesterday.

I woke up at five, tried falling asleep again, had a late breakfast, skipped meditation, did manage to do 20 minutes of strength training, helped make salad and leftovers for lunch and that was basically it for the day.

I had a few students to teach and while I would have loved to do some writing, not only on my poor novel but also on my sadly neglected newsletter, it was clear that I was just too tired for it.

So I skipped the 9 pm webinar and turned the lights out early.

Of course, I will make up for two lost days easily. No problem.

Sometimes I’m really going on my own nerves. Yes, the books were great and I had fun reading them but it would ultimately been much better if I had spread them out over three days instead of 1 1/2 and had done what I promised myself to do.

I’m hoping to do better today. As I always do.

Today there will be cleaning, writing (for real), maybe practice, a lot of teaching, going out for lunch with my husband and waiting for the boy to return home in the evening. I don’t think we’ll watch ‚Doctor Who‘ I’m expecting him to be too tired for that.

And then the weekend. I decided to skip the spinning meeting in favor of more writing.

Yeah, I’m finding myself hysterical as well…