creative.mother.thinking

No, I didn’t do all the writing yet again.

It seems that my new morning routine is to go straight to email, then meditate for five minutes, read „The Daily Stoic“ and then I’m off to all the social media before remembering that time is finite, getting up and making breakfast.

This will definitely have to change starting tomorrow because tomorrow is the first day of school for the boy. I don’t really want to force him to skip breakfast because I can’t get up in time.

Other than that the day was good.

I finished reading „The Unkindest Tide“ and it was so good I didn’t want it to end. I immediately read the bonus novella in the back of the book and then went on to download all the free October Daye-stories from Seanan McGuire’s website.

I did start another novel right away but I’m not quite sure if I’ll stick with it.

I worked on the crochet blanket while talking with my husband, did the dishes in a timely manner and got ready for the weekly ‚Sunday exercise‘-bit. Very good training this time for all the bits that are giving me trouble.

Then we made lunch. We had planned to make pesto Genovese but the weather was so cold that we didn’t feel like it. My husband ventured outside into the cold and rain and harvested some green beans instead:

Very yummy.

Then a break. I tried a few things with the teaching website, successfully procrastinated on drawing, writing and doing the homework for the pacing workshop and then started preparing the next podcast. The boy had a friend over.

I started this post, helped my husband to make dinner, we all ate including the boy’s friend, I watched the first episode of the Marie Konto show and then the finale of season six of Deep Space Nine with the boy and went to bed.

Today there will be running and all the usual things and in the afternoon I will probably start teaching again. Not quite sure which students will show up and which won’t because the official first day of school will be tomorrow, so we’ll see.

My Fitbit insisted that I hadn’t slept well but I felt alright until I started yawning all morning. Had woken up at six, did my morning routine up until where it says, „write for 25 minutes“, started researching executive function disorder and made breakfast a little too late.

My husband showed up early so we got into each other’s way while making our respective breakfast. I crocheted a bit. We talked. I crocheted some more and did the dishes. I read „Mind over Matter“ while brushing my teeth and it said that the people who think they have lots of self-discipline are more self-disciplined. I can’t quite decide it that’s because the have experience with it or if it’s just a self-fulfilling prophecy so I decided that I had lots of discipline, willpower and energy.

I made deodorant, something I had been procrastinating about for weeks now, went running and actually ran all my running intervals. This is huge. Besides the willpower-thing I also had help from the weather. It was a rather cool day:

Shortly before I took this photo at the halfway point I had met my husband who was wearing a rain jacket, scarf and hat because of the cold and the drizzle. This is what I was wearing:

And at times I wished for shorts.

Back home I started being totally cold again. I had wet feet and my socks were all muddy.

We made chili for lunch:

Since I never get anything done after lunch these days I decided to trick myself. I did the dishes the minutes I was done with eating, put the sewing machine on the table and set a timer for 45 minutes. I had a very nice break, reading and looking at Instagram and drinking tea and when my timer went off I only dithered for 15 minutes or so before putting a load of wooly things into the washing machine and starting to mend my orange dress (yet again) and to work on the yoga pants some more.

Unfortunately I was all out of thread for both the yoga pants and the t-shirt I want to make. But there was progress. I hung up the socks and such and there was this:

I had planned to block this Comodo cardigan properly but then decided that laying it flat would be good enough.

I cut the waistband for the yoga pants, sat down and did some thinking about the teaching website and called it a day. Started writing this post, made myself another cup of tea instead of eating something, read some more of the Seanan McGuire book, brushed my teeth, watched Star Trek with the boy while doing more crochet (the blanket is almost two-thirds done), journaled and went to bed.

So a pretty good day, apart from the fact that there was again no writing and no music.

Today I want to do some stretching in the morning and work a bit more on the website and do the homework for the writing workshop I’m taking. (Nobody but me will look at that homework but I thought it would do me good.) And prepare for the next podcast episode.

Woke up at six and all I wanted was to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head. I didn’t even take my thyroid medication until I was on my way to breakfast ninety minutes later.

I thought about why I had been feeling so bad lately, all paralyzed and frozen and unable to do anything and decided to up my vitamin D. I had only taken half my usual dose since the start of summer because when you’re out and about in the sun you don’t need to take as much.

About an hour after that I was already feeling much better. Might have been the placebo effect but I’ll take it.

After breakfast and reading and then crocheting while my husband had breakfast and was talking guitars I tackled the huge pile of dishes that was started all the way back the day before. Then I cleaned the house, or rather touched most surfaces, helped to make pizza, folded laundry and put it away and hung up a new load.

In between we had lunch:

Now, you can’t see it in this photo but that plate has musical notation on it. Also a few really bad drawings of several instruments. The notation has been bugging me for decades and yesterday we started talking about it at the table and I tried singing the notes that were there. Finally I got the small ukulele from the bedroom and played what was there and it became clear that it shows a bastardized version of the German Christmas carol „Oh, Tannenbaum“. There are several notes missing and the last two are too low but that is what whoever designed this plate must have copied. Very badly. The saxophone that is drawn there is totally distorting the time-space-continuum, by the way, because it is folding back on itself in an impossible way.

After that I did another huge pile of dishes, took a little break and the boy and I went out to maybe buy him a new sweatshirt. Apparently my mother-in-law has gotten a few coupons and doesn’t quite know what to do with them. And since the boy is sadly lacking clothes she is always trying to buy him new ones. She wanted to go to the local clothes shop with him and buy him something but he wanted to go with me instead. Well, deep down he wanted to stay home but that was not an option.

So we walked there, looked at the four sweatshirts they had (they boy didn’t want anything knitted and also shares his father’s disdain of zippers in sweatshirts). The one model that might have been okay-ish (thought we were both a little thrown back by the letters S.O.C.D. printed on the hood) only came in sizes L and XL which doesn’t fit him and the rest was really not his style at all.

I had been contemplated getting him a new pair of shoes as well but he declined. So we bought some croissants for next day’s breakfast, a notebook for him for school, some sewing thread, toilet paper, oats and sweets and walked back home.

I read some more, watched Star Trek with the boy (I have to say that both the Voyager and the Deep Space Nine episodes felt like there wasn’t really anything happening.) while eating leftover pizza, did the dishes, started writing this post and went to bed early.

Today there will be running and then we’ll see. Last weekend of summer break.

Woke up at six from the alarm. Took my thyroid meds, meditated a bit and stared at the novel for a short while. Had breakfast while reading „The Unkindest Tide“. Stared at the novel some more and managed to write 100 words. Found that I had forgotten to thaw the pastries that were meant to be husband’s and boy’s breakfast. So they had to eat bread. My husband was rather disappointed when he showed up. (He had assumed that the pastries were just sitting in the kitchen, he hadn’t known that I had put them in the freezer.)

Well, he did survive. I crocheted a bit. He told me stories about Carlos Santana again (he is still reading the autobiography). My husband went out to get alcohol-free beer but the store was closed until noon. So he went to another one. In the rain. After he came back, finally the new guitar arrived. It is whole and beautiful. I should take a picture and show you but I can’t right now.

Then I went out (still raining) to the supermarket. Came back, put some things on the list for next week because I couldn’t get them, helped to make salad.

In between the smoke detector upstairs went off. My mother-in-law was making pancakes for lunch for herself and the boy and due to her way of cooking the smoke alarm in her hallway went off. It’s the second time this has happened. I went upstairs where she stood in her hallway, poking the smoke detector with a broom handle while exclaiming, „I opened all the doors and windows so this wouldn’t happen!”

I thought to myself that it would have been a better idea to close the door between the kitchen and the hallway instead but didn’t say anything.

Five minutes later the alarm went off again. My husband shouted up the stairs, „You better shut the kitchen door!“ To which she replied, „But then there’s just more smoke!”

Um, no.

The smoke in the kitchen was not the problem as such (though lots of smoke while making pancakes is not a good idea either). The problem was the smoke near the smoke detector. And opening all the doors and windows just made the smoke pass the smoke detector. It also made the whole stairway and our porch (which are on different ends of the house) smell burnt.

Well, nothing caught fire at least.

My husband and I had leftover lasagna for lunch:

After that I ate some chocolate and read some more.

And then I couldn’t get started again. This is almost a habit by now.

My husband showed up again and we looked at the new guitar. Then we talked about the money from the life insurance and what to do with it. I started researching index funds and savings accounts until my brain felt numb and then we made an executive decision to put most of it in our existing savings accounts. The interest rates are pretty decent and we don’t have to open new accounts.

In the course of the day I had been wondering (again) why my new ebook reader is loosing battery power so fast. Even when I’m not reading and wifi is off. I looked the problem up and it might be the case that’s the problem. Which is brand-new as well and the one produced by Amazon itself. Still. I charged the Kindle, pulled the case off and will watch what happens. Of course, I’ve already had the case for more than 30 days but if it is really the culprit I will contact support anyways.

Then I researched plot shops online because I want to sew more clothes and printing the PDFs at home is just a pain. I then decided which patterns I want printed for now, decided against buying a pants pattern I’m eyeing and got that sorted. Then I looked up how much of the brown jersey I have.

And then I researched daypacks for my husband. His old one is quite a bit older than the boy, it went with us to Brazil in 1999, and is starting to rip. I pre-selected four different backpacks and had him choose one.

And then I did more finances stuff.

And then it was time for watching Star Trek.

At least I have an inkling what is making me so paralyzed. There are so many niggling details to take care of that I can’t focus on the important stuff.

Oh, and today I will go and buy a sweater and maybe a pair of shoes with the boy. And clean the house and change the sheets.

I woke up, started my morning routine and then fizzled out. No writing. Went down the internet rabbit hole and had breakfast rather late. Talked to my husband, crocheted. The Summer Ripple blanket is about halfway done at this point.

I’ve also been thinking about my sewing projects and I might make a dress by hand. Without the machine. The one top that I hadn’t-sewed is holding up great, mostly because of the different thread I used. I don’t think I can use the same kind of thread in my machine but I need to research that further. On second thought there must be a way.

But. Getting the machine out is always such a hurdle for me. On the other hand I am sitting there spending hours on a crochet blanket that I don’t need, just because I can work on it while talking with my husband or watching TV. So I might try sewing a dress by hand as well.

Since we were expecting the new guitar to arrive we went running one after the other. Running was nice at first and way too hot a little later. I don’t like running later in the day. I was pretty good with actually running my running intervals until the next to last one and then I basically just gave up and walked the rest of the way. At the halfway point I was still rather optimistic:

Back home I helped to make lasagna and salad and managed to layer everything wrong. At least according to my husband. I will do some more research on how to do it properly. He wants me to put pasta on the bottom and I’m thinking that that will result in undercooked dough. We had a hot debate (at one point I even scraped the bolognese sauce back out of the dish) and finally came to the conclusion that a) we need to find out if a layer of lasagna on the bottom would result in undercooked pasta and b) have to have enough béchamel sauce for three layers if we start the whole thing with béchamel on the bottom and c) if I start layering lasagna with bolognese as the bottom layer it’s maybe not worth fighting over it.

I think I will do some research and then put a post-it note on the package of lasagna noodles. Otherwise I’ll forget again.

Nevertheless, the lasagna was delicious. Even though my husband insists on putting eggplant in:

The vegetarian lasagna is not pictured.

Then I did not do the dishes because I had to teach early.

I taught the student who usually brings her baby daughter with her to class but yesterday she had a friend looking after the baby. Teaching is a little easier without a baby present. I don’t mind much, though. Then a little break during which I found out that the guitar wouldn’t arrive that day after all. It was still stuck in transit. Then another student who is a great joy. She is about my age and started to teach herself piano three months ago and is full of curiosity and questions and enthusiasm. She also is playing rather good for the time she’s been doing it.

Then another short break and then another student, this one a kindergartener who has been trying piano lessons for a few months now and is starting regular lessons now. He was playing well also.

My husband and the boy meanwhile went out together. My husband has been sad that they don’t spend time together anymore and after a bit of needling (it’s not like the teenager will come up to him and ask to do something together; if left to his own he’d spend weeks in his room without coming out at all) my husband planned a walk together. They changed the plan twice but it was basically walking to the train station to get ice cream, then to the edge of town to see what happened to the farm that had burned the day before and then maybe a little further to the small lake there. And then back in time for dinner.

Then the boy and I watched some Star Trek, I wrote a few words and went to bed early again.

Today there will be grocery shopping and then I’ll get all the things done that I didn’t get done until now. Or something.

While failing at the big things.

I had my alarm set for six but turned it off and continued to sleep for another forty minutes. Seemed I was still rather tired, no idea why, I did get enough sleep and according to my Fitbit I also slept well.

So no morning routine, just a bit of reading and then breakfast. Then crochet. Got the new Seanan McGuire, „The Unkindest Tide“. I do love that series and am enjoying this one so far as well.

Then my husband started talking about our plans for the day and I mentioned that we had talked about going to the bank together and that threw him a bit off because he doesn’t like to leave the house in the mornings and he certainly doesn’t like to go to the bank. We discussed it a bit because he wanted to prepare for recording later in the day but finally agreed to just get it over with.

Now, the problem is that my husband received a letter from said bank (not the one we usually use) telling him about the balance in a savings account that he didn’t know he had. We looked for the little book that he should have to go with the amount but there was none. And his mother didn’t have one either (the bank was the one she uses). So a few weeks ago she agreed to ask about the account but couldn’t. So he wrote her an authorization but still, she couldn’t find out anything. Which meant he had to go in person. Which also meant that I couldn’t take care of it on my usual round of errands. (In our house I’m usually the one dealing with bureaucracy and finances and such.)

So we went there, just as half the town was in the streets, of course, went to the bank and got that account sorted. I mostly came along to hold my husband’s hand and despite the fact that we got a teller with limited experience everything went well. My husband is now the proud owner of a new book for his savings account. With some money that he didn’t know he had.

We went on to the bakery for bread (and a bottle of wine) as one does. When lining up for our bread my husband looked out in the street and saw a fire at the horizon. It turned out to be a farm burning at the edge of town. I’m not sure what happened yet but it seems no one was injured and the firefighters were there quickly, the fire station is only 500 meters away.

We walked back home (nothing for us to do about the fire and we had already heard the sirens before) and made lunch:

Frying bacon like that turned out to be a bad idea, by the way, not recommended because it turns hard and chewy. Other than that everything was great.

Did the dishes, had a break where I read and crocheted and then my husband showed up to discuss household stuff with me. The good thing was that this time he had told me beforehand.

So we talked toilet seats and finally ordered a replacement for the one that has been broken for weeks. And then we talked about the bell plate outside that nobody could read and that had gotten grimy and ugly. I had „get new bell plate“ on my list for months and months but just yesterday I had the idea that I could maybe find some brass polish and try to clean it first.

Turned out that with the two of us helping we actually managed to get the thing out, polish it and put it in in a way that both names are better readable. Huh. It also turned out that my mother-in-law must have cleaned her nameplate regularly. I didn’t know that one had to do that. I mean, if I had thought about it for a minute it would have occurred to me but I had never ever see someone clean that little plate. Duh.

Then I sat down again and finally tried to get some words written. I did but the scene I was writing was not very good and didn’t go anywhere and I felt totally uninspired. I thought I might have to chuck it completely. And think about what will happen next.

At least I tried.

I didn’t manage any of the other things I had wanted to do but getting small niggling things done is necessary too.

The good thing was that after a nice dinner of Brez’n, boiled eggs and cheese, some chocolate and two episodes of Star Trek I felt inspiration strike again and wrote a bit more. Made me a little late for bed but that was worth it.

Today I want to go for a run, help to make lasagna, teach a coupled of students, write all the words and cross some other stuff off the list.