creative.mother.thinking

Can you believe it? 200 days of daily blogging. Yeah.

And as I had hoped this daily blogging thing has made blogging more fun again. The only thing I miss is writing long rambling posts about one topic. But they might come back in the future.

And I keep reminding me when I whine about not writing enough that every day I am indeed writing about five hundred words here. That is something. It doesn’t count towards gaining mastery in writing, though, because it’s not really deliberate practice. More like jamming around.

So the travel to my parents went very well. All the trains were on time and not as crowded as usual. I guess most people who were visiting family over Easter traveled the day before.

I didn’t take any snacks after all which made me hungry for most of the train ride. Do you have that too, that the minute you start traveling you want to eat? I’m not quite sure if that’s because there’s nothing to distract and not much to do, or if it’s because travel makes hungry. My father once told me, „You’re like your grandmother. The minute the car left our street she started unpacking the sandwiches.“ Well, not yesterday.

I did have a huge portion of Asian noodles for lunch, so that was good. And I bought a new hair tie.

I have decided to keep my hair up all the time while around my parents because my mother hates it when my hair is long. Now she will know that I have it long but not how long and it doesn’t flow all over the place. This is just one of the weird things I do to try and keep my mother pleased. Which she never is, by the way. It’s one of those relationships.

The weather is nicer than predicted, so that is good. I only got rained on once today, and that was right in the morning when walking to the train station. I carried my damp gloves around in my pocket all day, and they are drying right next to me as I type this.

The train ride was not as productive as planned (and yes, I should stop making these plans). Even though I was sitting in the quiet zone there was a group of people going to a Christening, and I can now tell you most of the life story of one of them. And the other one who is working on her PhD in art history. I really need to get myself noise-canceling headphones. But I think I’d feel weird not hearing what’s going on around me. It might make me more productive and less irritated, though.

I did write 500 words on the train, each one harder than the last. Fun! That’s what you get if you don’t write for several days.

I also had to rip back most of the knitting I did on the train because I hadn’t looked at the instructions properly. It said, „knit to marker two, then knit 58 stitches, wrap and turn“ I knitted 58 stitches and started the wrap and turn and ended up with a rather lopsided object. Then I spent another hour knitting back. Also fun. But now I’m back on track.

I have to say that I only want to knit the Carbeth cardigan right now but that one is at home. I didn’t feel like lugging around 500 grams of bulky yarn.

Deciding to put my clothes and toiletries (and the spare yarn) into the messenger bag, and everything I needed on the train into the backpack was a great decision. All the heavy things were in the backpack. I put the messenger bag up on the luggage rack and had the backpack at my feet. With tea (I ended up taking mint tea after all), and water, and knitting, and the laptop, and the notebook, and the tissues, and the almonds, and the chocolate all right there.

I think the next time I travel I’ll try to make do with just the backpack. If I put my mind to it I could probably travel with a purse but that would severely limit the knitting and spinning I could take. And sitting on a train without knitting is just sad.

I deleted another book from my e-reader. I started reading „The Perfect Fit“ because it sounded interesting, and an author I follow has read it and liked it. I kept reading and yelling at the book in my head, and thinking, „Why is this scene in the book? This doesn’t actually do anything.“ And so I decided that life is too short for books like that and just didn’t finish it. That makes it three books I didn’t finish this month which is a new record.

It also shows that people are more invested in a book if they actually paid for it.

The good thing about it is that now I have a free spot in my KU library so I can read the next Chloe Adler novel when it comes out on Monday. Ha!

And I didn’t bake anything after all. My husband already reminded me that when you mention things in front of my mother she keeps feeling like she is the one who has to do them. So when I tell her that I spun some yarn she feels bad because if she had to spin she’d hate it. And so we decided on not baking. Because if I bake she gets exhausted, or something. (No, that was not said out loud.)

When I left after dinner I took a bottle of beer with me, as one does, and she said, „I did put two glass bottles in the fridge but there is beer in plastic bottles too.“ And I was, like, so what? „Well, the glass bottles are so heavy. You wouldn’t want to carry those back to your hotel.“ Um, when I left home this morning I was carrying a thermos full of tea and a full stainless steel water bottle with me. I left the thermos at your house. Also, I used to lug about twenty more kilos around on my body. Carrying a bottle of beer in my backpack will be perfectly fine. Geez.

Today there will be writing before breakfast, I hope. (My mother said, „Well, I’m usually up around eight and have breakfast between 8.30 and 9. But you can totally sleep in if you want.“ We agreed on nine for breakfast and I thought, „Yeah! That means I have a little more than two hours for writing and meditation and reading and relaxing before I need to go over to them.”

I might be a little hungry by breakfast time, though.

A thoroughly unproductive day and not really in a fun way.

I did start the Carbeth cardigan in the morning, so that was good.

Piano tuner was late, as usual, and it was his son coming, not himself. The son thought he was here for tuning my piano. Didn’t know he should install the LifeSaver in the piano. So he went back to the shop and fetched it. Got it installed and even vacuumed behind the piano but couldn’t attach the LEDs to the underside of the keyboard. So he said he’d be back in the afternoon between four and five.

There was a very Bavarian lunch of potato salad and Leberkäs, and then a bit of a break while knitting, and then I realized that I had to stay in the kitchen to wait for him because I didn’t know if he knew that there’s a second doorbell for the annex.

So I waited. And checked instagram, as one does. All afternoon.

He turned up at 4.30, found that the wooden thingy he had made needed something different, worked on it with his cordless drill for a bit and then – broke it.

He’ll come back later some other time. He said that he was sorry about six times or so. I tried to tell him that I know how these things go, it’s perfectly normal that there are complications, no big deal. The LifeSaver works, it’s just the LED-thing hanging in thin air.

Then it was almost time for dinner.

And then the boy texted that he would be late. And I waited for the boy. And for my husband who was outside trying to fix the greenhouse. The panels keep falling off which is a pain. And without the panels the greenhouse isn’t much use.

So my husband and I had dinner rather late, and then I waited for the boy to show up. He was pretty happy that his internship was over. He learned a ton and did actual useful work and even got a bit of money as a bonus.

Then the boy and I watched some TV, and then it was way too late to do the dishes and then I went to bed a little late.

Today there will be the cleaning of the house and the packing and the baking of the Hefezopf and the winding of the yarn and the being nervous because of travel and a shower in the evening because I won’t rush out the house at 7.35 with wet hair.

So, lots to do. Not quite the right mood for writing, I guess, but we’ll see.

Feels like I barely did anything yesterday but in fact, I did quite a bit.

I went grocery shopping to two stores and picked the two pairs of pajamas that I had ordered for the boy up from a third one. I made myself frozen pizza for lunch. And then I sat down and spun the whole afternoon. First while watching the book cover design course all to the end and then watching some shows. I have only forty grams of fiber left before I can ply the first half or so. Probably a little more. I’m hoping to spin that all up tomorrow, maybe even ply it in the evening and wash it. That would be perfect.

I got some couscous veggie-thing for the boy for dinner and heated that up, and I boiled some eggs to go with sandwiches for my husband and me. Did all the dishes on time. Hung up laundry. I was really relieved that the clothes I’ll need over the weekend are finally washed.

Feels like I didn’t do a thing because I spent all afternoon in front of the TV. But spinning about sixty grams of merino is nothing to sneeze at. Which I did a lot. Right now the cold is wandering down to my voice again. Just lovely.

I also tested the rain jacket and shoes I want to take with me next weekend. Today it was about the same temperature it will be next Saturday and while I was a little cold, I was fine. I am not schlepping two jackets with me for four days, so I’ll settle for being a little cold on Sunday and a little too warm on Tuesday.

The boy forgot when he needed to be ready this morning so I had to get up at six. Ugh. Then it turned out that he had to leave the same time as usual so I could have slept half an hour longer.

Well, I could have left him to fend for himself but getting breakfast ready in the morning for him is really important to me. My mother always had a hard time getting up (she always stayed up too late watching TV) and so when I was eight years old I wanted an alarm clock, and once I had that I started making her coffee in the morning, and shortly after I stopped eating breakfast. I drank a glass of soda, made my own sandwiches to take to school and that was it. And so one of the few things that I really wanted to do if I ever had my own kids was to get up, cheerfully and on time (which I don’t always manage) and make breakfast and their snacks. The other thing is reading to them at night before bed. Which I did up to the point when the boy asked me to stop because he could read on his own. Turns out that, like both my husband and I, he does like reading better than being read to.

Today I’ll be teaching one student, and spin a lot and maybe write a little. With my voice getting worse again I have given up all hopes of recording the podcast this week. It’s all good. I’ll just do it next week. Sick is sick.

You’d think that without all the exercise I’d have oodles of time, and it does make my mornings a little lighter but somehow it doesn’t make as much of a difference as you’d think.

For the past few days I have been angry at myself for not getting enough done, especially with the writing.

So yesterday I set my alarm at 7 because of the start of daylight savings time; I decided to go to bed early and set it half an hour later than usual, and I managed to sleep for eight blissful hours.

I got up, had a somewhat late breakfast, and then started writing, so that was good. My husband got up around the usual time, the boy slept in (he will be so tired tomorrow morning!) and I called my mother on the phone to discuss the food for next weekend.

I helped my husband make bifteki, baked potatoes, tsatsiki, and fried eggplant and it was delicious. Didn’t look like much, though, so no picture.

And then the same thing happened as the last few days. I sat down after doing the dishes for a little break and somehow never got around to doing anything. Mind you, that happens a lot when I have a day off but not like this.

And then it hit me. My voice is still not quite there (I can talk but not for too long), and I still am having a sore throat and now the whole thing also has moved upwards into my sinuses.

So, of course I am not productive. I’m still sick. Not lying in bed with a fever sick but sick enough to not exercise (wah!) and to run out of energy after lunch. Duh.

I will now stop flogging myself for just hanging around reading instead of writing and go a bit slower.

Then I read through some blog posts in my feed reader and stumbled upon Kate Davies’ Carbeth for the umpteenth time. She even has made a cardigan version now, which I find much better than a pullover. I always thought that this would look hideous on me because of my shape. I do love, love boxy cropped tops but they usually make me look really fat. Also I thought that the lines in the front would look bad with a bigger bust. But. Then I looked through a ton of pictures on ravelry, pulled out some yarn that I still had in my stash.

I might make myself a Carbeth cardigan out of alpaca/merino yarn! It will be insanely warm for sure. I even started swatching right away.

The boy and I watched a little TV while I spun and I went to bed almost on time.

Today there will be one student and maybe a little yoga instead of the running and a lot of spinning. Some writing too.

So that was a semi-productive day.

I did get everything ready and the house clean in time to go out for lunch with my dear husband, so that was nice. Came home in time to teach my sole student of the day, and then I basically sat around procrastinating about writing. I tend to do that a lot. No, I’m not proud of it.

I made bread dough to be baked today, and I baked Nusszopf. It was weird, when I was looking for the baking pan I couldn’t find it anywhere. Then I actually went upstairs and asked my husband who had two students there, one leaving and one getting ready for his lesson. I felt rather guilty about asking in such a bad moment but I was desperate. The dough was already sitting there and I didn’t know what to bake it in.

„Oh, that one,“ he laughed, „um, I didn’t know that you’d need it.“ That sounded ominous. „I used it to store the potatoes I had set aside for planting in the yard.

Right. My very new baking dish, the one that I had gotten explicitly for the Nusszopf that both my husband and my son love to eat for breakfast, the one that was somewhat pricey and had only been used thrice, that one was the one he used for the potatoes. Not any of the other baking pans and forms and such that are sitting in the basement slightly rusty and neglected.

Well, at least it was easy to get the potatoes out, and to wash the dish, and then I made the cake.

The boy came home, carrying a frozen pizza and I realized that I was just using the oven which meant that he would have to wait with dinner until the oven was free again. Oops.

He was a good sport, we talked about his day and then he got his dinner after the Zopf was done.

The boy didn’t want to watch anything so I sat down in front of the last episode of „Dollhouse“ with my spinning wheel and spun another 20 grams as a sample for the cardigan I want to make.

Had another beer, went to bed too late, and that was that.

Today there will be walking (I’m still not up to running, meh.) and music and writing (lots of writing, I’m behind again) and maybe some microphone tests, Who knows maybe I’ll even press the fabric for the dress I want to make.

Isn’t that exciting?