creative.mother.thinking

and then I followed that by, “apart from this and this and this“, so maybe not almost nothing.

I went to bed too late again and set my alarm for 6.30. Did dawdle a little but not too much but I only had time for ten minutes of writing. While staring at the manuscript I realized I was stuck again. I need to look at the timeline again and I needed to figure out what happens next.

I did yoga and meditated and talked with my husband a bit while knitting. We talked mostly about my feelings about my mother being in the hospital after her fall the day before and how I get especially thrown off by ot knowing what happens next but there’s nothing anyone can do about that.

I was super slow after that. Fortunately, it was a little cooler (which doesn’t mean it was cool, exactly), so the fact that I left for my walk/run a little late didn’t matter as much:

I have progressed to a program where I run a little longer than I walk now, if I can make myself do it. I was thinking a lot about building strength and especially strong bones while doing that (in the midday heat) and found that rather motivating. Running is better for osteoporosis prevention that walking but every bit helps, of course.

I came back home with time for a shower before lunch. Husband decided we’d eat outside and he has moved some cheap plastic chairs to our porch so we don’t have to carry chairs around every time we want to sit there. (We do have chairs that match the table but he uses those in his studio because he finds them comfier than our other chairs.)

We had spaghetti with meatballs because we still had some meatballs left over from a few days before.

I read a little and played my video game a little and then it was time to teach. I had hoped to be able to call my optician and maybe my doctor but the optician is closed on Mondays and the doctor was on lunch break while I would have had time.

There were many students and after that I met my writer friend for a coaching session (she is a certified Clifton Strengths coach). I had wanted to prep for that but all I could manage was to pull up my objectives from the time before that I hadn’t looked at at all in the meantime. I had also hoped to review June and plan July but nope.

It was very helpful, though, because it made me realize how packed July is (it always is but this one seems slightly overpacked) and all the questions I need answered about this month and the next. Very, very helpful.

I had called my mother in the morning and she mentioned that a) she was in a lot of pain and b) she would only stay at the hospital for a couple more days (because they can’t really do anything) and then she would go to another clinic that is specialized in acute geriatric care, hopefully until she could go back home. And in the evening I got a text from my aunt that my mother will probably go to that clinic on Thursday and stay there for four weeks for sure.

Which brought me relief because now I have a rough timeline and I know she will have care, help and cooked meals.

Then it was finally time for dinner after which I met the boy for our weekly Genshin bosses and then I played some more.

Oh, and somewhere in between breakfast and running I also sorted my mother-in-law’s fan order (did I tell you about that?), we had ordered a fan for her the evening before after lots of back-and-forth with the boy clomping up and down the stairs with my iPad to show her pictures and ask her opinion and coming back down with cash. We settled on a fan that then turned out to be out of stock at the big A, so I ordered it elsewhere for a little more plus shipping.

So, in the morning I got an email, they were very sorry but the sudden increased demand had overloaded their online shop system and they had sold more fans than they had, and here was my money back.

Which meant there was still no fan for my mother-in-law.

So I did a bit of cursory research and clicked ‚buy‘ really fast on something pretty cheap. I hope that thing will help but I’m guessing a fan is better than no fan and they are in high demand right now for obvious reasons.

Oh, and by the way the plumber still hasn’t called. Another thing for the mental load column but that’s why we have lists.

Somewhere along the way I also tried to find the green Corriedale that I was sure I had started spinning but then I went through my Ravelry posts and nope, I haven’t start yet. Now I just need to figure out where I put my heavier Bosworth spindle because I had a project on there that I can’t seem to find.

And yeah, all of that took a little longer than I had hoped, phew.

Today there will be the June review, I hope, and the July plan and also errands, a pharmacy order and the health food store. Oh, and calling the optician for an appointment.

As I said, I barely go anything done.

And therefore I didn’t get as much done as I wanted, boo.

I went to bed at 1 am, bad move like always. Then I overslept even though I had set my alarm for 6.30 which was not all that surprising.

I did my morning pages, yoga and meditation and thought I’d do manuscript time later.

I did not open the manuscript.

There was breakfast with my husband and some talking about my health stuff an all the maybe doctor’s appointments and such. But the most helpful conversation of all was about the Weaver B. sweater.

I don’t seem to have a picture of it after washing and „blocking“ (which for me means just laying it flat to dry). The other day I tried it on and it grew immensely. It is now too long, a little too wide and the armholes are way too big. I had wanted to wear it with skirts and wide-legged pants and that would make me look like a broad column of fabric.

Husband thought it was okay, and fit well but no.

So the options were to wear it as is (or rather not wear it) or rip it back and re-knit. That would mean a very fiddly ripping back project with lots and lots of short lengths of yarn. No fun to work with that.

I could also give it to someone else who likes it the way it is.

Or, and that is the solution I’m leaning towarids (though it’s more an and than an or solution), I could find someone who wants the sweater, order more yarn and – reknit it in the right size.

Ha!

I think that’s what I’ll do. Eventually.

That cleared up my mood immediately lightened up.

I talked some more with my husband and then it was time for the weekly phone call with my mother.

I was a little earlier than usual. When I called her landline she did not pick up. I was equal parts worried and annoyed. There have been days in the past where she forgot to tell meshe wouldn’t be home that day.

I tried again ten minutes later. I left  voicemail. I texted her, nothing.

Finally I tried calling her cell and she answered with, „Susanne, how did you know I’m at the hospital?”

Um, what?

So. Turns out when she went to the bathroom in the night she fell and then she couldn’t get back up from the floor. She tried for two hours, apparently, before using her emergency button that calls a service. They then try to get hold of her through the intercom in her apartment and when she doesn’t answer they send someone over who has a key to her apartment. She specifically looked for a service that had people nearby, like, 5 kilometers away.

She was brought to a hospital in a nearby town (no hospital in town anymore), then examined and looked at .

When I called around noon she was finally in a bed in hospital and looking forward to finally get painkillers soon. Which arrived as we were speaking. She needed those because, wait for it, she broke her pelvis. Again.

I’m told that is very painful. And it is basically the set of bones that enable standing, sitting and walking. It all literally hinges on your pelvic bones.

She was pretty out of it which was understandable and we talked only briefly but I’l call her again soon.

So my next step was to text both my aunt (my mother’s sister who lives in town and has a key to her apartment) and also my sister, og course. They usually phone on Mondays and she didn’t need to go through the same kind of panic I did.

I found it interesting that I started my phone call with, „Hi, it’s me (yes for caller ID), don’t panic. Mom is in the hospital because she fell in the night and broke her pelvis.“ Her first reaction? „Again?”

Yep, that wsa exactly what I thought.

We still don’t know much and she is in good hands, so I’m not too worried but booking a trip to visit her in August might have been a bad idea. Or maybe not, we’ll see. We already talked about who could maybe get away from their home and help her for a while, even the boy said he would get up there if he is needed.

But not right now because she’s at the hospital for now.

And then we ate lunch- I helped a little with chopping and processing herbs. Yes, we are having zucchini season:

After lunch I started playing Genshin Impact and I didn’t really stop until it was time for dinner. The boy helped me with some endgae stuff and even played several levels for me but at that point I didn’t really care anymore. I was also told, emphatically and repeatedly, that the way I play my team rotation is severely lacking.

Well, I’ll try my best.

I ate dinner, talked with the boy about Genshin for an hour or so, then he came back downstairs after talking with his other grandma about getting her a fan because it was still so hot and supposed to be so again soon, so we spent an hour choosing one only to find the shop ran out. I did find it elsewhere, for a little more money but, well, ordered that, played some more, finally did the dishes, brushed my teeth, started writing this post, gave up on any and all lists for today the month and the week, and also about the writing and the June review but I’ll guess that will keep.

I still went to bed too late but whatever. Back to teaching but it should be a little less hot today at least.

Oh, and we skipped bodyweight training because of the heat. The vote was unanimously.

Yes, I am still complaining about the weather, sorry. Not for all that long, I hope.

I went to bed only half an hour late but then set my alarm half an hour early as well because the plan was to go on my walk/run earlier than usual so I would only partially melt.

I was pretty good, husband was rather surprised at seeing me ready for yoga at the time he came over to make breakfast. I had even opened the manuscript!

We had a slightly quicker breakfast than usual and I set out without dealing with the dishes beforehand.

It was already very, very warm. It was bearable in the shade in the woods but the sunny bits on asphalt were, um, uncomfortable.

I met an older woman on the path who told me I was daring. Which I found confusing and asked why. Because I dared to run in the heat. Um, I met at least four more people doing the same. I actually went out earlier than usual to avoid the worst of the heat. I don’t get it.

And then there was a part of me that thought I was doing something wrong because of that exchange which is just ridiculous. I knew from the outset that I could go on a 73-minute walk/run in the heat, I drank extra water before leaving the house and I was certain I would be able to at least walk back very slowly in case running was too hard. It’s not like that was my first time doing this.

Meanwhile my husband ran 10k. I just did 7.3 but that was definitely enough for me.

It took ages until my face was no longer beet-red, I really don’t like the heat.

I did the dishes, I took a shower and then there was lunch:

After that I read, and ate chocolate, and went online, and played my video game badly until I was almost late for the weekly writer Zoom. Meeting these people was nice, as always, but I should have logged off a little earlier because then I was too late for the weekly watching of ‚Columbo‘.

That episode was pretty good with William Shatner playing the murderer. (It was actually the second episode of ‚Columbo‘ where Shatner was playing the murderer, I almost forgot.)

And then there wasn’t much time left in the day. I did the dishes while listening to yet another packing video, started writing this post, talked with the boy for a while, made a list for today and went to bed too late.

Today will be another too hot day but then it should cool down a little, phew.

For the record, skipping yoga and meditation does not help with having a productive day.

At least I went to bed on time, and I slept well and for long enough. Cue the confetti.

My husband showed up half an hour earlier than usual which threw me off, I wrote my morning pages, and then we had a misunderstanding that resulted in a long, long conversation about it, and that was basically it for the day.

I was also out of sorts because not only was it time to deliver a urine sample to my doctor’s office again, I had also noticed that I had soreness in that area for a while now, and I only put things together the day before. So I walked to the doctor’s office through the blazing sun to pee in a cup. I had hoped the doctor would get back to me the same day, as he usually does, but the office closed at 1, and I did not get a call.

When I came back from that (and buying toothpaste) my husband was right in the middle of making pizza from scratch and a salad from fried zucchini. I chopped stuff, folded a load of laundry, chopped some more and helped with the pizza and then there was lunch:

By then the kitchen was like a sauna. Using the stovetop and the oven was not the best idea on a day that was extra hot.

I took a short break and then started teaching. I had three students, then a break because a student canceled. The plan was to use the break to clean the house but instead I idly thought about writing a newsletter, did some book cover research (aka making fun of other author’s covers, I even found one in a designer’s portfolio that had a typo in the title), marked more video as „watch later“ and then waited for my last student of the day.

And waited.

And waited.

They never showed.

After that I ate some more pizza for dinner and read a bit. I started a new book and have a hard time getting into it because I’m only reading a page here or there. the book is good, that’s not the problem. I also started a list for this year’s Tour de Fleece. That is the hand-spinning event where you spin along the Tour de France. This year we also spin during the Tour de Femmes which is good.

I have way too many spinning projects that are theoretically in progress but now I also have a nice list with what I want to do next, how to decide which projects to focus on and everything. My official goal is to spin for 10-30 minutes every day, my ideal outcome would be to spin all the yarn for a new sweater, either for me or for my husband.

I will knint a sample from the purple yarn I plied the other day, then get the Majacraft wheel in working order again, and ply the rest of that. I will also look at the Louet spinning wheel and decide whether I want to work on that project (probably not). Then I will figure out where I put the sample of the green Corriedale I spun, wash that (no idea if I already plied that, ahem) and knit a sample of that as well.

And then I’ll decide whether I’ll spin the purple or the green. I definitely need to ply the purple singles because I need to free the bobbins they are on.

No idea if I’ll manage to work on any of that before the Tour starts or not but at least I have a plan.

After dinner I met with my writing friend, and even though we both didn’t work as hard as we had planned to do I got a very sizable chunk written, so that was good. I also made a tentative plan for next week, always nice to get that out of the way early.

After that I started writing this post, met the boy for bodyweight training, set the kitchen to order again, played my video game and went to bed.

And now the weekend. It’s supposed to be even hotter here, so I better go for my walk/run a little earlier than usual.

I went to bed at 1.30 am.

Bad.

And I didn’t even sleep well.

I then decided to skip yoga and meditation, also not my best moment.

But. I walked to the nearby supermarket (very slowly) and got groceries, I hung up a load of laundry, I did dishes twice, oh no, three times, and I finally made red currant jelly. Only 4 1/2 jars, though.

But first there was lunch:

Then I met a student and her mother who wanted to stop lessons. She is still in kindergarten and ukulele is very hard at that age.

Then dishes, then one student, and then I made the jelly and tidied the kitchen afterwards:

I taught another student, my last student canceled and I ate junk for dinner and almost immediately regretted it. I keep thinking that I want something crunchy and salty as a treat and most of the time afterwards I feel as if I ate cardboard. Cardboard that is poking me in the stomach. Meh.

I played some Genshin Impact and then met with my writer friend for writing.

We did not write a lot. I told her about the very exciting scam email I had gotten from someone pretending to be from a noticeable bug publishing house. The editor they claimed to be actually exists but are acquiring math and science books. There was a very detailed and flattering review of my first book and they pretended to want to work with me in the future.

Yeah, no. Because editors of major publishing houses write to indie authors who don’t really sell all the time and offer them some vague business opportunity. Sure.

She in turn told me about a webinar she had just watched about AI critique for one’s manuscript. Nah.

Anyway, I did write for half an hour and it went well but a whole hour would have been better. I was somewhat tired at this point, though.

So I started writing this post, read a little, wrote a list and went to bed.

Oh, and regarding the question whether readers remember book titles or author names or whatever, I’d say it totally depends. There are things like „the latest Stephen King“ or whatever where the author name is most important.

There are also series where the series title is the most important and I have to say I often buy books because I find the title promising, especially if I have no idea who the author is.

Now I do get where the ‚only the author name is important‘-thought is coming from. Eventually you want to get readers who buy everything you write. Like, K J Charles is an auto-buy for me. As is Ilona Andrews.

But I’m pretty sure if you ask my mother about any of the books she read this year she probably won’t remember the title or the author but she could tell you part of the plot because that’s what stuck with her.

She, by the way, is a completely different reader from me. Where I go and buy basically everything some people recommend on the internet, or as I said, some authors are auto-buy for me, so every time I stumble over a new title from them I just click buy, my mother only reads what friends and family recommend. She doesn’t really buy books either, she just borrows them from her friends.

My parents were both voracious readers and they basically only read what they got as presents or borrowed from friends and family. Buying a book was rare. Like, my father might be at an airport and be bored and buy one book, maybe two. He’d ask for the next book in a series he liked for Christmas and for his birthday, so that would be – two books, maybe three.

They (and we) read every book in the house and all that we could lay our fingers on. Discovering the library when I was around 9 was a revelation.

And then, when I moved to Munich for university, and I realized that even if I didn’t have much money I could just walk into a bookstore and buy a book or two, just like that? Mind blown!

And that, right there, growing up as someone who read sometimes 10 or more books a week (I read fast, I had about two hours per day on public transport and I hated watching TV and didn’t really meet friends much, and also books meant for teenagers tend to be very short, I could read one in about two hours.), that is the reason I have a pile of books I really want to read that would be miles high if I would still buy physical books.

I did the complete morning routine, knitted, did the dishes and went out for my walk/run at a time that meant it was super hot:

Fortunately, I remembered that I can turn right at one point and instead of going round the field I had more trees and bushes which was quite a bit cooler.

Came back home, took a shower and helped with the salad:

That is spaghetti aglio e olio. My husband also did the peperoncini part but I passed.

We also had some very nice steak with bread:

Then a short break, one student, change the sheets on my bed, three more students, dinner, one more student, and then I procrastinated dealing with the red currants my husband had picked in the morning.

Prepping the fruit for making juice took more than two hours.

Then I started writing this post while the red currants were simmering away in the pressure cooker, I made a list for today, and went to bed too late again.

Oh, and my studio was at 30°C/86°F all afternoon. Today I’ll try to not open the window between students but using the door for fresh air, that should be a little cooler.