creative.mother.thinking

explaining my life to strangers

Archives for June 2010

It’s the small things that bother me the most

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I’m immensely proud today because I took my laptop apart, cleaned the optical drive’s lens and put it all together again. And it’s still working. And now it plays DVDs again.

Lately I had been spending quite a bit of time gazing at nice and shiny and new Macbooks. (Also at spinning wheels again, but that’s another story.) And then I asked myself why I wanted a new computer that badly. Apart from it being shiny and new, that is. My computer is now four years old but then it’s working fine, and I don’t really want to spend that kind of money right now. So I sat down with myself and thought about why I want a new computer. And then I found that there are two things about my old one that drive me crazy: 1) the battery is no longer working so I always have to take the cord and plug with me, and 2) the DVD-player isn’t reliable anymore, it only reads certain DVDs, and sometimes it decides that it doesn’t like a certain DVD right in the middle of the film. That’s very annoying.

Now mostly my laptop sits on a desk in my studio-office-room but every day in the evening I unplug it from everything that is attached to it, and haul it, an external DVD-drive, the power plug, the drive’s plug and cable, and the current DVD of choice off to the kitchen so that I can watch an episode of Dr. Who while my son sleeps. With earplugs, of course, but I keep the earplugs in my handbag near the kitchen.

When I first got my laptop I would go and sit in the garden and write or surf the net but I no longer can because of the battery. Having to bring all that other stuff with me every single day when I move the computer from studio to kitchen and back is annoying and I really don’t like it. Often I leave the external drive in my bedroom where it clutters my dresser. At one point I contemplated making a bag that holds all of this stuff at once so I could better move it back and forth, and then I thought again. Of course, if the problem is the battery and drive what I need isn’t a bag (though bags are good, I like bags), what I need is a new battery and a new optical drive.

And so that’s what I’m doing right now. I ordered a new battery (and I hope it will arrive soon), and I looked around on the internet and found a tutorial for getting at the drive, and one for cleaning the lens of the DVD-drive with alcohol and a q-tip (some people say you shouldn’t use alcohol by the way, just so you know). So that’s what I did today. I unscrewed a gazillion teeny tiny screws, I put them on the table in order so that I would remember which one to put where, I almost broke the drive when I tried to open it, I almost gave up three times, I cleaned it, I had to put the drive back in and out again six times, and in the end I broke some plastic thing that should have held a screw (but the screw is still there and is not lose, and the thing it was supposed to hold is not lose either, so that’s good), and then I put it all back together again, turned it on and tried it out and – it’s a miracle – it still works and it even reads DVDs again. Yeah!

This is just one example of the things that go on my nerves day in and day out. The small things. The top of the dresser that’s crowded with yarn because I have been wanting to get a new shelf for the yarn but I haven’t. The heaps of CDs on top of my stereo that don’t have a place to go, the magazines that are sitting in a pile on the floor because they don’t have a place to go, the pair of jeans that I have to pull up every other second, the sneakers that are scruffed and on the verge of disintegrating, the handbrake of my bike that doesn’t quite work, all these things, insignificant and tiny things those bother me the most.

And I was only reminded of this because I finally decided to do something, anything about the things about my computer that had been going on my nerves for more than a year at least.

What’s bothering you?

just a short one

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I noticed that this time of the month is often when I stop posting here on the blog (for the month), and I fully intended to do a real post but then on Sunday evening while brushing my teeth I found that one of my molars was kind of lose. Not a good sign. I went to the dentist yesterday and he had to pull it out completely. I’m a bit shocked because that meant I have been running around with a crumbling tooth for months without really noticing but then I told my dentist there was something weird about this tooth years ago and her sole response was, “There is nothing wrong, everything looks fine.” (Just like the car before the motor fell out, by the way.)

The next time I feel something is wrong I’ll stay and have it checked until they find something.

For now I’m happy to be rid of the nasty tooth, and am recovering nicely. But I don’t feel like doing much of anything, not even knitting. I plan to sleep a lot, and lay on the couch watching Doctor Who. After I have finished teaching for today. See you.

Apparently, when you’re overweight you’re supposed to be an apple

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Despite the fact that I still haven’t really taken inventory of my wardrobe (all I got so far is a heap of too small pants and a coat sitting on my dresser) I have been starting to look at clothes. Because even though I don’t know how many of the t-shirts in my closets don’t fit me anymore I can honestly say that I’m under-equipped with summer wear. Because yesterday when it was really, really hot I almost resigned myself to wear two things that don’t match so that every important part of me could be covered without bursting into flame. And then I remembered the tank top I bought last year, and I was really, really happy. You know, a tank top that does not pinch anywhere, and that doesn’t exactly make me look like I’m going to burst it any second now.

That doesn’t mean the tank is looking good on me, and that doesn’t mean that I have shorts or a skirt or pants that really go with it, so yesterday I went with the too big grey linen pants (you know the kind that older women wear in summer when they don’t want to expose their legs), and a brown tank that didn’t really go with it.

Then I went to the city for my writing group and on the way I did the sensible thing. I looked at handbags. Now, I did find some handbags that I really, really liked but I didn’t buy any because I don’t have a spare 300 Euros lying around at the moment. But today I thought to myself, “What I really need is a nice summer dress, and a summer skirt, and a pair of shorts I can actually close.” I also need a ton of summer tops but right now I wanted to start with the dress, and or skirt. (I won’t be contemplating shorts for now, the thought of trying to find some that fit me is just too depressing.)

So I got out my sewing magazines, and started looking for dresses and skirts (and pants, and shorts (only there weren’t any, and coats) for plus sizes. And I looked at the patterns, and at the model, and starting thinking about making a jersey wrap dress when it hit me. All of these patterns, every single one is made for “apple-shaped” women. Bit bust, nice legs.

Me, on the other hand, I’m that pear-shaped that my lower half is about two sizes bigger than my upper half. I also managed to eat my midsection big enough to make people wonder if I’m pregnant again. So, none of those dresses will actually look good on me. Even if I can make them fit. My next thought was that there are stores for people like me, those who don’t fit into the “normal” sizes, and then I thought back to the last time I had to shop in the “plus section”, and I remembered. It’s all the same. If you’re pear-shaped you’re doomed.

I have a theory why this is so. The other thing that I found is that plus sizes are mostly made for shorter people than me. And I think this is because manufacturers of bigger clothes think that they are making clothes for older women than me. Most of them are not as tall, and since they only go “plus” when they hit menopause they have the apple shape to go with that. (Though I have to say that I’m getting the “menopause belly” on top of the pear-like thighs and behind. In fact I’m looking pretty “mountain-shaped” these days, especially if I sit down which I do a lot, that’s part of the problem.)

But when I look around me I’m seeing lots of women who are overweight, and a lot of them are my age or younger. Where do they get their clothes? I see a lot of teenagers just squeezing into things that are too tight but that doesn’t really look good. And I have reached a stage where I really can’t squeeze into a size 44 jeans anymore. (I tried, and I couldn’t pull it up beyond the middle of my thighs.)

So, what to do now? Change the size on some regular pattern? The clothes would end up being too short anyway. And I do have the feeling that patterns for “normal” sizes are meant for women with neither bust nor hips so that won’t work either. Maybe I should make my own pattern but I’d have to do it quite fast.

Anyone knows a place where to find nice clothes, plus size, fashionable, for people who are tall? And if they are not expensive, that would help too.

Some might say I should just lose the weight, and I’m working on it but me thinks I can’t go naked in the meantime.