creative.mother.thinking

So yesterday was a really busy day as planned. I did record the English podcast episode in the morning, even though my voice was not in the best shape, and then, just when we were about to leave for lunch, I got an email from my sister and a phone call from my aunt telling me that my mother had to go to the hospital the day before.

Nothing life-threatening, she hurt her back, and they will only be able to tell what’s wrong after Monday because they need to do an MRI, and the very small hospital she’s at doesn’t do MRIs every day. I’m very grateful for my sister and aunt keeping me in the loop because my father is not the type of person who’d call in a situation like this. These are the times when sometimes I wish I lived a little closer to my family but then if I did live a little closer I would have to be right in the middle of all these people trying to communicate and figure things out, and failing. And I would probably feel obligated to look after my father who will be completely able to care for himself for a few days. And my aunt is checking in on him and on my mother as well.

So guess what? I did not clean anything yesterday. I know, shocking. Also the most important thing right now, I know.

The rest of the day went pretty well, we had Chinese and sushi at the restaurant near us, and the owner remarked on how tall the boy has grown, and about how his voice has changed, and then I went back home, and taught a student, and then I phoned my aunt and tried calling my mother, and then I taught some more, and I was so confused that I forgot to remind my last student to pay for her lesson (I did put a post-it in her file, though, so I can remind her next time.), and then I talked to my mother on the phone who did not sound as loopy as I would have thought with all the painkillers, and then we had dinner, and the boy and I watched another episode of „Star Trek: The Next Generation“ (one with Q that was really excellent), and then I baked cookies for the spinning meeting today, and then I went to bed way too late.

I only slept for 6 1/2 hours but I got 3 hours of deep sleep according to my sleep tracker, so yeah? I guess? Have a cookie to distract you:

Today there will be running, and then I’ll take off for the meeting. I already have my spinning stuff and my purse packed, I only need to add the cookies and a spindle. I am also participating in the „Herbstlesen“-event again even though I don’t really have the time for that today. On the other hand I have already spent about 90 minutes reading because I woke up before 6 am, and it’s 8 right now.

Tomorrow is blissfully empty, no appointments (well, we could go out to brunch to meet people but I guess we won’t), only a little puttering around and some singing to do. I guess I’ll need that.

I just tried to turn my laptop on to write my daily post but it itsn't booting properly. I've been waiting for this computer to die on me for more than a year now. I hope it isn't quite time yet. I has been somewhat quirky but functional. Which is okay if you remember that this computer is more than seven years old. (And now that I'm typing this (on the tablet) I find that the laptop has decided to boot after all. Phew. I can do most things on the tablet but I can't record a podcast on it which is what I'll be doing this morning. At least if everything goes as planned.

Yesterday I was pretty good, the only thing I skipped was the strength training. I guess I have to find a different way of doing it because after running, teaching, and doing other work all day by 6.30 I'm rather reluctant to do something strenuous before getting dinner.

I did learn some things about how to market books, though, I did watch a video I had been wanting to watch for weeks, and I finally found all the lyrics to the songs I want to record for my mother's birthday and printed them out. Baby steps all the way. Same with the novel I want to write in November, I now have a document in Scrivener with parts that say “beginning”, “middle A”, “middle B”, and “ending”. Very important steps for sure.

And I managed to go to bed almost on time, and can now say that according to the last days' experiments every time I turn the lights out at 9.30 I will get enough sleep, every time I turn the lights out at 10 I don't. I have no idea why I wake up an hour earlier after turning the lights out half an hour later but that's what it is. It does remind me of the days when I still had a toddler who found it impossible to fall asleep. Often when we tucked him in a little earlier falling asleep would be much easier for him.

Though I have to say that I don't have any problems falling asleep. According to my sleep tracker it takes me 11 minutes every night without fail. Unless I'm seriously overtired, then it takes four.

I know, sleep is just so fascinating. Well, it is when you're not getting enough.

Today will be extra, extra busy but fun (I hope). I will attempt to finally record the next English episode of the podcast, go to the Asian place around the corner for lunch with my husband and son (which I've been looking forward to for days now), then teach a lot, in between do some cleaning (wish me luck), then listen to the podcast so I can publish it tomorrow, then watch something on TV with the boy while my husband goes to the city to see a free improvisation concert, and then bake cookies for tomorrow's spinning meeting.

And then go to bed on time.

Should be completely doable if I don't spend all my time on the internet.

We'll see how that goes.

Yesterday was a full day, I was not lazy and still didn’t manage everything I wanted to. Which is alright. I even went to bed early and slept a little more than eight hours. Bliss!

I did print the revised novel two out and the rough draft of novel three (which still lacks an ending, I know what will happen, I just couldn’t bring myself to write it). They make nice satisfying piles of paper on my desk. Novel two is still too short but I’m thinking maybe I should trust my former self about the first version not being good enough. I’ll reread both, though. I only have no idea when I should do that.

Time is really my biggest problem. Doing more of everything is working in a way but doing more of everything while getting enough sleep, and exercise, and keeping the house in a semblance of order – tough. (And no, hiring a cleaner is not an option. First, cleaners cost money that I don’t want to spend, and second, a cleaner won’t do my dishes or laundry or tidy the house. Actual cleaning costs me between one and two hours a week, and that should be easily found if I stop spending so much time online.)

Which is a challenge I’ve been thinking about for a while now, going offline – or mostly offline – for some time. I’m too chicken to do it at the moment, though.

Not drinking alcohol is going well, and last night I didn’t even binge on food. Yeah me! At the moment I don’t even have cravings for beer much but I’m sure that will change once I’m sitting in front of TV on Friday night because that’s traditionally accompanied by the first beer of the weekend. Well, I’ll just substitute an alcohol-free beer instead.

We won’t go to the Greek restaurant soon, though, because they whip out the ouzo even before you’ve properly entered the premises, and a bike tour to a beergarde on Sunday is out for similar reasons. So we’ll go and have Chinese for lunch tomorrow, less temptations.

Today there will be another 5K run, quite a bit of teaching, and then I hope to finally get started on my mother’s birthday present. I’m so behind, it’s not funny anymore. Somewhere in between I will have to find time to clean parts of the house, and maybe change the sheets. Also do fifteen minutes of strength training, and continue my „going to bed early“-streak.

This will be really exciting for sure! Stay tuned!

So this marks the last day of my daily journaling experiment, and I must say it is a success. I did manage to blog every day (and yes, I still haven’t rewritten the lost day 6-post but I did write it, I swear), and I even liked it.

I hope you liked it too but I guess if you thought that reading something from me every day would be a little too much you’d not be reading this anyways.

I think I’m going to keep this up – within reason. So I won’t kill myself to post every day but I’ll try to. Posting daily works better than posting weekly because somehow I never quite get my act together on time, and so I kept procrastinating about that weekly post for weeks. Which doesn’t work.

Other than that I have been feeling both really excited and somewhat meh and overwhelmed at the same time. Excited because I had an idea yesterday for a new novel, and also I had the idea of writing it during November (for NaNoWriMo), and also live-blogging the novel on my author blog. The new blog is still a work in progress, and I’m not quite sure how to use it yet, so I’m trying things out.

Of course writing yet another novel is so not sensible, and in a different genre than the trilogy is even worse, and live-blogging it is rather insane. So I thought it would be a good idea, as one does.

The overwhelm comes from all the things I need to do. I still want to finish revision on the trilogy (and the best would be if I could do that before November. Chances are slim, though. I spent 40 hours on the revision of novel two which is much less than I would have thought. Now that novel is short (too short, unfortunately). Also those forty hours were spread out from the beginning of January until now. Ugh. I did do other things in between but not that many.

I also want to get the new blog going, of course, I’m still not happy with how it looks, and I need to set up a newsletter (and a sign-up for that newsletter) for people who want to know about when the trilogy comes out. And the big project for this month is to record some songs for my mother’s birthday. Which is on October 28th so I have a firm deadline for that.

I’m also having second thoughts on novel two (as one does). I wrote this one twice because I found the first version so bad that I thought writing it again would be the better choice. Now I’m sitting there with a 55,000 word, very short, novel that I’ve completely torn apart and rewritten and I’m afraid I made it worse instead of better. And yesterday I stumbled over a printout of the first version of that novel, and that is a juicy 89,000 words, and I really liked the opening scene. I think the writing is much fresher. Which wouldn’t be surprising.

Of course my next move should be to reread both versions, and then decide on what to do. But I’m seeing myself spending another year on revision for this thing, either revising the first version, or – even worse – tearing both versions apart and trying to make them into a new whole. Also I’ve lost track of what actually happens in each version of each novel. There is something to be said for writing and revising quickly because then you don’t forget everything.

Well, it is no use. I need to finish the trilogy (don’t think I haven’t toyed with the thought of giving up), and for that I need to reread both versions and decide what to do. I have a feeling right now that the first version is not as bad as I thought but if that’s the case I have wasted a year (well, not comepletely because I have learned loads and have written the rough draft of another novel), and I will still have to revise that one.

No, not fun.

But that’s the pro mindset, isn’t it? You do the work that’s necessary to make it as good as you can. No matter what. 

Yesterday was a rather full day, by the way, even without the novel-writing woes. I went to the orthodontist by bike, and it looks as if the boy will get rid of his braces soonish. We have to decide whether to pay for a wire to be glued behind his teeth permanently after finishing the whole course of braces. Right now it looks as if we won’t. It isn’t covered by insurance, and isn’t really necessary, just would make things easier.

Before, I ran a few errands and went to the health food store, then I taught quite a few students, did strength training (for all of 16 minutes, yeah me), had dinner, and flopped down at the kitchen table. Oh, and my husband’s new guitar came. He is happy with it, it doesn’t sound like anything he owns yet, and I could already hear him play differently with it. That’s one of the fun things about different instruments, you get to play in a different way with them too.

Then I didn’t do nothing, didn’t wash a single dish all day (be glad you’re not looking at our kitchen right now), and went to bed on time. Only to not sleep well, and wake up too early yet again. Yawn.

Today is a new day, though, and I will pick myself up again. There will be running, and lots of dishes, and I’ll go to the supermarket, and I will definitely practice those songs for the birthday present, and I will print out the revised version of novel two, and the unfinished raw draft of novel three (good thing I just ordered printer toner and paper), and then I’ll go to bed on time again tonight.

And I will tell you all about my really exciting life again tomorrow. Fun!