daily journal

So today started with the laptop acting up (so that I couldn’t write this right after breakfast as usual), me being really, really tired, and rain like crazy outside.

On the other hand it is a day off, so there’s that.

Yesterday was a good day all in all. While the switch to the new internet thing happened around ten I was strong, and went running first before attempting to configure all the new gadgets. Then my husband made lunch without my help for a change, and I sat down to get the new modem/router/phone running. Things went with only very minor hitches which was great and unexpected.

The boy had come home early while my husband and I had been running and greeted me with, „There’s no internet!“ to which I said, „Yeah, the company switched but I have yet to connect everything.“ I’m pretty sure he thought I should have done that first.

I then taught my students, hung up a load of laundry, configured voicemail and recorded a greeting (three times), practiced a little, and tried singing the songs I want to record for my mother’s birthday which was, let’s say, interesting. Seems I need to put some more work into this. I can totally see myself just buying a book at the last minute instead. Have I mentioned that my voice sounds a little rough at the moment? I think I might have a cold of some sort.

The boy and I ate dinner in front of „Star Trek: The Next Generation“ because my husband was teaching late, and then I lounged around the kitchen table procrastinating about novel-revision (sum total of revision yesterday: four minutes and eleven seconds – oops). And then I saw that it was time for virtual knit night in the very nice ravelry group where I spent most of my time, and so I decided to try my very first google hangout.

It was really great talking to my friends in the computer. I was uncharacteristically quiet because I was so tired. My computer shut down with only two seconds warning at the end. (It said, „Your battery is running low.“ and while I was grabbing the cable and trying to plug it in – poof! – the computer shut down.

So I went back into the hangout only to tell people that I was too tired and needed to got to bed.

I’m sure that must have felt weird to them because by that time it was only 4 pm where they were but for me it was already 10 pm. Which I know most people don’t consider to be that late but, trust me, by that time I’m barely conscious.

I went to bed an hour later, and am longing to go back to bed even now, right in the middle of the morning.

In all that exicitement I completely forgot to wish my brother-in-law a happy birthday so that will be late.

I also wanted to write a few words about the day of German unity but I guess that will have to wait until tomorrow.

Yesterday was a rather nice and quiet Sunday. I participated in a reading event-thing, and If you want to you can read all of it over on my author blog. As you can see I’m still not quite sure what to do with that blog but I’ll work it out eventually.

So there was a lot of sitting around (only 500 steps), a lot of reading, some music, some strength training, some crochet, and not a lot more.

The most interesting thing was that we made spätzle with lentils for lunch. Making them yourself is a little mess but not too much work, and they were delicious. We’ll be having the rest of them with cheese today or tomorrow.

Today we’re supposed to get switched to faster internet and a different kind of phone which was the reason I didn’t sleep well. Yes, I know that’s silly. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow you know why. Especially since tomorrow is a public holiday.

I’m pretty sure I’m being unreasonable but there you are.

So all in all yesterday was a pretty good day.

I didn’t get enough sleep, that was not so good. And then I did everything pretty slowly and did not start working on the novel right after breakfast, and I was almost convinced I had screwed up the day.

But then I went on my 5K run, and found that 5K is totally doable. I did not manage to run all the way without breaks but my walking breaks were short, and I never gave up. Funny enough it was easier to keep on running because I knew there were no walking intervals coming. All I had to do was just keep running. Well, trotting. My husband was pretty surprised that I came back home after a mere 45 minutes. But the idea is to start small and build up to 21K over time.

Now I only have to figure out how to do this without hurting my hip like I did the last time.

We had wonderful lunch, and then I took a break, and that’s usually when my Saturdays get derailed.

Not this time, though, which was great. I even managed to play a video game for half an hour and then stop.

In the afternoon I practiced a little, and got the podcast ready for publication with shownotes and everything, then I decided which songs to record for my mother’s birthday present, something I had been procrastinating about for ages, and then the boy and I had dinner in front of TV.

Afterwards I even managed to work on the novel for half an hour (phew!), prepared my bullet journal for October, and then I went to bed almost on time.

Now I only need to do the same thing again today. Well, with no running but a bit of strength training.

Yesterday was extra busy, and for once pretty productive.

I managed to record the next podcast episode in the morning, then made pizza, and was only slightly late, I taught all afternoon, practiced in between, and was just about to admit defeat regarding the usual Friday cleaning of the house when I found myself just doing it, one thing after the other.

I had really looked forward to watching Star Trek Next Generation with the boy but he didn’t want to so I spent the evening reading. I didn’t even knit. I did try a new to me kind of beer, though, and it was delicious.

And now there will be a weekend completely free of appointments and such. I will publish the podcast today, and knit, and read, and run, I love it.

As I’m typing this I’m sitting in the kitchen waiting for the rest of the family to get up, and life’s just perfect.

So again I wanted to do everything better than the day before. I didn’t do really bad but I managed to get a little derailed nonetheless.

I’m going to bed too late again these days, which means I’m all tired all day which is not a lot of fun, and then in the evenings I’m super-tired, and my impulse control wanes, and then I eat more than I need and drink another beer which leads to going to bed to late again. It is a fun cycle that I can repeat at nauseam. And every day I hope to break it but so far this week I haven’t.

Yesterday morning I rode my bike to the health food store one town over, the one that has a really great selection of meat, also the best potato chips, and more cosmetics than the one I usually go to. I did select a new gray eyeliner but seem to have misplaced it because I can’t find it anymore. I also didn’t pay for it so that’s probably alright.

Lunch was turkey breast, rice, and black beans, a little like comida caseira that you get in Brazil. Very tasty.

Since I had only three students planned I wanted to use my breaks in between to work on the novel, clean the house, and practice. But then we got a call from the guy we ordered the new floor for the boy’s room from. He wanted to come over and install it right after lunch. Well, the first time they came right in the middle of lunch because they wanted to measure the room first so that they could cut a bit of the flooring off before carrying it up the very narrow stairs.

So now the boy has a new floor in his new room.

I’m expecting that we’ll carry his desk, chair, and computer upstairs some time on the weekend, and then we’ll order some more furniture. He wants a wardrobe, a bookshelf and a new bed. He already has the money set aside.

Unfortunately we don’t have a car otherwise I’d just drive to IKEA. I could rent one but I haven’t driven in years. So we’ll probably pay to have things delivered. Much less time-consuming.

So with all of that and talking to the boy in between students I somehow never got around to cleaning anything. I did practice and spend all of twenty minutes on the novel, so that’s okay. And we did strength training for twenty minutes. I’m still sore this morning so I guess we did it right.

Today I will be doing all the things, I have to make pizza from scratch, clean everything, and record a podcast. That will be fun.

I really had high hopes that if I reduced my running time and shortened the running intervals it would be more fun. But that didn’t work.

I felt bad for only exercising for half an hour, and despite no running interval being longer than five minutes I found myself bitching and moaning, and looking at my watch every thirty seconds to see how much longer I would have to endure.

So. I could of course give up. I mean why should I run? I could walk or bike or swim instead. Maybe not swim, going to the pool had its own complications, namely loads of people, not enough space. Also it costs money and time to go to the pool.

But I don’t want to give up. I used to enjoy running, and that in itself is still a marvel to me. That someone like me, completely unathletic, could ever enjoy running. And outdoors even. In all kinds of weather.

So I decided to change my approach. I will switch to the 21K-program instead. The Couch to 10K clearly isn’t working. I started it months ago, it is a thirteen week program that I started in the beginning of November, and I still haven’t finished, and I still can’t run 10K.

Now you’d think that doing the 21K would be harder, and eventually it will be, but for now I mostly will have to do 5K runs three times a week with a longer run once a week. I’ll probably do those on Saturdays because theoretically I have more time on Saturdays. With my snail pace of running 5K will take about forty minutes to do. I know I can run for forty minutes if I really have to. So instead of scaling back and making things easier (which didn’t really work) I’ll go full steam and make them harder.

Of course I’ve been inspired by the book „Living with a SEAL“ that I read over the last two days. In that book Jesse Itzler describes a month in his life where he hired a former navy SEAL to stay with him and train him.

That training program is insane, and I wouldn’t ever do anything like it but I can see the appeal of going beyond what one thinks possible. And I do know that I tend to give up too easily. And I do want to become better, so I need to change something.

My husband just shakes his head at me. He has been running the exact same loop three to four times a week for years now. He leaves the house, runs through the woods out to one particular field, stretches for ten minutes, runs a different way back, and is done with his running for the day. I’m always rather envious when he glides by me, light-footed, while I stumble along, completely out of breath, and red in the face. He asked me why I feel the need to do a training program. To have someone tell me when to run, for how long, and what to do. He just listens to his body. When it’s a day for a slow jog he runs slowly. When it’s a day for a challenging fast run he runs fast.

Well. If I listen to my body too closely it will usually tell me to stay on the couch. Or maybe just walk slowly for half an hour. Which is fine. But not the level of fitness I’m aspiring to. I want to become someone who can run 10K, or maybe 21K, and enjoy it. And yes, somewhere in the back of my mind I’m dreaming of becoming a person who can run ultra marathons because that’s just too cool. I doubt I’ll get there soon but a woman can dream.

For now I’m starting a 5K to 21K program. If I manage to follow it I should be able to run 21K by the end of December. We’ll see how that goes.