creative.mother.thinking

explaining my life to strangers

Archives for January 2024

Exhausted and comepltely peopled out

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After spending Thursday and Friday with people I am still feeling like a limp dishrag crumpled on the floor. So instead of a recap of the past few days you just get this.

So things are fine-ish. My mother-in-law’s birthday dinner was nice and a little boring. Our houseguests were nice as well but one of them was really exhausting. I did get actually mansplained about teaching piano and the same person had times where they weren’t even leaving those short spaces in the conversation where you’re supposed to say, „Mmh,“ and nod.

All I can say is that if you ever find yourself in the position of telling people about something you find really fascinating please pause from time to time to see if your audience is still looking engaged and interested. If you find yourself talking at length, try to take a break and ask the other person something. Or just shut up for a second and see what happens.

And I’m saying that as someone who used to wonder why people I was talking to at parties who went to fetch themselves another drink somehow never made it back to our conversation.

My brain might have melted and not in a good way.

Another almost useless day spent in anticipatory dread

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Which means not only do I feel meh right now, the exhaustion from things that haven’t happened yet also sapped my energy needlessly and that is making me mad.

So yesterday I spent quite a bit of energy and time waffling about going to the supermarket or not, when and how, because of the storm. I ended up doing something I’ve never done before in my life, I took the bus to the bug supermarket. I also went to the pharmacy and to a clothing store to return the boy’s too small pajamas and buy a new round of socks.

I got off the bus at the wrong stop but that wasn’t a problem because I only had to walk for two minutes or so. If I catch a bus right away it takes less time than walking but a little more than taking the bike. The busses were on time and pretty empty that time of the day. I did get a little carsick on the way back, I really should stick to the front of the bus, especially when hungry.

My husband made pancakes with spinach for lunch:

a big, slightly burnt pancake on a plate with a blob of spinach and some grated cheese with a glass of water on the side

Then I decided not to do the dishes because the boy hadn’t eaten yet and I could only do about half anyway. That turned out to be a mistake.

I had big plans for the rest of the day. What I did instead was: sit around, scroll and play silly games and every time I felt that impulse to start doing something my husband showed up and wanted to talk. I finally took that extremely overdue shower after dinner. Then the boy showed up and we talked, then my husband, then I moved to the living room for watching TV, then my husband wanted to talk about friendship and feelings and such, I finally got to watch my C-drama, did a spot of Duolingo and while I was about to get ready for bed after deciding not to do the dishes or anything the boy showed up yet again and told me all about ‚Metal Gear Solid 2‘.

I turned the lights out at 11.30, about half an hour later than I wanted.

I did sleep reasonably well and at 6 I woke up again. Heard the boy coming downstairs, walking into the kitchen, banging the door when going back upstairs and then I was wide awake.

Decided to look at social media first thing in the morning, always a very solid decision. No morning routine, funny enough.

Today will be extremely super busy and people-y. I’m not the only one dreading it, the rest of the family is in a bad mood as well. No idea if I will find the time to blog tomorrow morning because there will be overnight guests and my mother-in-law’s birthday dinner tonight.

Not quite sure where the day went

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I have reached that part of a school break where I’m not quite sure which day of the week it is.

I did get 8 1/2 hours of sleep, so that was wonderful and I did my full morning routine, yeah! I have added listening to one piece of classical music per day as well, I’m following „The Year of Wonder“ book by Clemency Burton-Hill. (By the way, the book is currently only 2,89 €.) I tried using a YouTube playlist for the listening but the quality of the first piece was so bad that I went back to Spotify even though I will have to sit through the commercials. Since we’re using YouTube so much for everything including teaching I splurged for the Premium, so no commercials.

The day did not continue quite as well when I forgot to take my thyroid meds first thing so my breakfast was delayed for half an hour. My husband got up and built the fire while I ate and then I spent some more quality time weaving in ends on the crochet blanket. I will have to decide what to do, the next CAL will start on Friday but I haven’t finished the blanket-in-progress yet. I’m two thirds done with the squares and then there is still the border left. So I either can finish the current blanket first before starting another one or I could set it aside and switch projects. Not sure what would be the best option here.

Somehow everything took ages so I only started doing the breakfast dishes around noon, then went to the health food store and back. Lunch was pork cutlets, potatoes and Brussel’s sprouts:

a plate with a breaded pork cutlet, potatoes and Brussel's sprouts with a glass of water on the side

I took a break, then did the dishes, folded the laundry and hung up some more. I was a bit upset because I had been waiting for my second warm pair of pajamas to be clean again but after two loads of laundry since it became splattered when I tried unclogging the washbasin drain it still wasn’t there. It turned out that pajama was the lone one thing that had not fit in the washing machine. My husband didn’t even realize what it was. Also, he owns at least half a dozen pairs of pajamas where I have three that I can wear in the cooler months. Well, nothing I can do.

Then I taught my two students of the day, started watching a video thing from Becca Syme immediately after, realized that I couldn’t focus at all and ate dinner instead. Then I tried some new foot exercises. I am really hopeful about these, I tried the first easy start the day before and felt like my feet weren’t hurting as much right away. Might be the placebo effect, of course, but that would be awesome. Since it’s exercises to strengthen the muscles in the foot I guess it can’t hurt. I mean, it does, a little, but in a good way. More like sore muscles instead of searing and stabbing pain with every step.

Then I did some more Duolingo, wrote my Chinese sentence of the day, watched some C-drama and went to bed. No novel revision all day, somehow there wasn’t really time. Today will be busy again but I’m hoping I’ll get to open the manuscript at least.

2023 Review! Goals! (Not necessarily for 2024, though)

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This is what I wrote down at the beginning of 2023 and what ended up happening. I did state explicitly that I didn’t have to reach those goals in 2023. The year was pretty tumultuous, so:

  1. Publish first urban fantasy: not done I’m still in the process of revising book 3, I decided to tackle all three books at once
  2. Lose 15 kilos: gained 5
  3. Set house in order: not done we did a bit, ordered new windows and there was the thing with the tree and a few small things but that was all.
  4. Run 10k: no, see health issues I’ve been dealing with plantar fasciitis since June or so, therefore no running. I miss it very much.
  5. Get my Chinese to HSK4-level: no but I’m making slow progress. I’m still somewhere between HSK 1 and 2 according to the app I use.

Looking at those goals it’s all a bit disappointing but it is what it is. Dean Wesley Smith wrote on his blog the other day that “failure must be an option” … “And that’s normal and perfectly fine.” … “However, quitting is not.”

So I guess I’ll just try some more. I mean, if my feet don’t get better I might have to modify the 10k-running goal, though.

And this is what I wrote down yesterday:

  1. Publish first urban fantasy
  2. Lose 20 kilos
  3. Get house in order
  4. Get back in shape and better self-care
  5. Get Chinese to HSK 4-level

I will definitely not reach goals 2 and 5 this year, that’s for sure. Some progress in the right direction would be nice, though.

I did decide on the motto of „Respect Reality“ which will make for a nice change.

When setting up my bullet journal for the month I decided to incorporate a place to note things that will be coming up in the next few months as well and things are already looking pretty crowded.

Happy New Year!

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And oops, apparently I forgot to post this morning.

Anyways, yesterday was very nice and ended at 3 am which means I only got five hours of sleep and the only thing I did today was plan the month and the week, review last year and set goals for 2024.

a messy kitchen table with salmon toast, butter, salmon, horseradish a candle and a glass of champagne

We had smoked salmon on toast for lunch yesterday and cheese fondue for dinner, then watched the “Doctor Who Christmas” special, some YouTube and „Dinner for One“ before going upstairs to drink more champagne with my mother-in-law at midnight. The fireworks were way too much and too loud and too long. The conversation was very pleasant.

Oh, and speaking of my mother-in-law, seems that our pot for cheese fondue and also our fondue forks fell prey to her decluttering mission same as the tree stands, they were nowhere to be found.

I really wish you all a peaceful, enjoyable, healthy and sane 2024, see you!