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Still exhausted and somewhat paralyzed

January 9, 2024 by Susanne Leave a Comment

Not literally paralyzed, so that’s good.

I woke up from the alarm, a little earlier than the days before. I thought I had enough of a sleep buffer to make that possible. Um, nope. So I decided to start the day not with my morning routine, you know the one that I do because I want to feel better but with reading instead. I don’t regret it much but well, I also did not have much energy all day.

No idea if skipping the morning routine results in less energy or if I tend to skip it on days where I don’t have energy to start with. Oh, and the thing I was reading was „Old-fashioned cupcake“. It came recommended by Gail Carriger and I really loved it. Will probably re-read it soon. (And writing about this reminded me of another comic she recommended ages ago and then I had to spend ages to find it again and buy it. Of course. It’s „Our dining table“.)

So I had a whole list of things I wanted to do that I ended up not doing. No morning routine, no playing the piano, no taking a shower, no exercise, no novel revision, nada. As I said, exhausted.

I did start a new course, „30 days to better productivity“ and this is the result of my homework:

part of a laptop keyboard with a sticky note saying "You can't move the Mississippi River in a day"

As a constant reminder that changing your behavior as an adult takes a lot of time. The homework for the next day was to read a book for 30 minutes but I had already done that. That is one thing I almost never skip. Reading is a given.

My husband is still hung up about people and is in that stage where he needs to rehash things that happened over and over and over. Unfortunately that said my energy big time. I’m still peopled out, talking about people with people in that state is not the best for me.

There was pasta with mushrooms and cream sauce for lunch:

a plate of tagliatelle with mushroom cream sauce, parmesan and parsley with a glass of water on the side

I taught many students, including one I hadn’t seen in months that I promptly mistook for his brother and one who told me they have to stop lessons because they need the time for getting better grades in school. Poor thing. I don’t actually think it works that way but what do I know.

What I do know is that if you push your kid through the last year of elementary school so that they manage to barely squeeze in to gymnasium the chances are high they’ll have to drop out a year or two later because their grades aren’t good enough. But of course I can’t tell that to the students’ parents. Or that not getting into a certain kind of school is not the end of the world.

During and after dinner I had that limp dishrag feeling again, also was almost shivering. The outside temperature had dropped and that together with my lack of energy meant I was feeling like an icicle.

I did manage to go to bed at a reasonable time and am hoping that today will go better than yesterday.

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