Archives for February 2021

I woke up at six without an alarm, wrote morning pages, did yoga and meditated. Had breakfast. Started a new crochet blanket. Sorry for not taking a picture.

I talked to my husband about my problem of not being able to make myself do the things I want to do. It made him feel about as helpless as me. I woke up a sleepy boy. Talked to my mother on the phone. Was surprised when my father answered, I thought he’d still be in the hospital. He has started dialysis and was supposed to stay until Monday. Insurance wasn’t paying for it, though, so they sent him back home. He’ll still get his next treatment on Monday, only not in the hospital.

I helped to make tsatsiki and we ended up with this kind of lunch:

The boy and I did the dishes, I took a break and ate some chocolate, crocheted some more and watched a few Youtube videos, had the boy wander in a few times to tell me things. He said he is supposed to find a topic for a 15-minute presentation on a book, movie or news article for his English conversation class. I suggested something about ‚Star Trek‘ and now he is contemplating doing something on the two different pilots and things that seem normal to us now but that were pretty spectacular then. It might be challenging to fit that into 15 minutes, though.

Then I set up a new notebook and planned out the week:

And changed my mother’s prepaid smartphone plan. Yeah, it’s complicated.The boy and I watched an episode of ‚Star Trek: Enterprise‘ where they buried the (interesting) main story in a load of boring crew interactions. And no, I do not believe that T’Pol is attracted to Trip and acts jealous. Are you kidding me? She suppresses all emotion, AFAIK Vulcans only meet their spouses every seven years or so (I might be a bit hazy on this and am too lazy to look it up), he is bland and not that attractive and most important – she thinks humans stink!

I watched an episode of ‚The King’s Avatar‘ while the boy was taking a shower to chase the bad taste away, made neat stacks of all the dirty dishes, decided not to answer the text I got from a maybe, potential new student on a Sunday evening right away (I’ll do it today) and got ready for bed.

Today there will be some running, lots of teaching and lots of bonus points for getting some writing in.

Woke up at 6, wrote morning pages and started reading a novel. No yoga, no writing, no meditation. So I felt like the day was already lost by 8 am. Dragged my feet before going out to run. Started my interval training full of resolve and made good time until I was about 15 minutes in and then I lost all motivation and walked the rest of the way.

The weather was very nice but everything was extra muddy.

Came back home past lunchtime but that was okay because my husband was late as well:

I did not do dishes at that point and still hadn’t taken a shower because my husband wanted to shower first.

No idea where most of the afternoon went. I refilled one of my fountain pens. Decided to clean the copier before taking a shower. Found out how to clean it, found a rag to use, wiped the inside of the copier and found a little pile of black toner inside. That was probably causing the annoying smudges.

I put everything back together before decided that the weird orange plastic thing inside was one that should have been removed, so I took all the cartridges and such out again and found – another pile of toner. Huh. Cleaned that up. Decided I needed a new cartridge. Vaguely remembered that I had bought one before but couldn’t find it. Searched my studio. Searched the annex hallway where the copier lives. Looked through my Amazon order history and found that yes, I had ordered a second new cartridge. Searched some more. Recruited my husband’s help who ultimately found the box with the new cartridge right next to the copier underneath some other stuff.

Cleaned everything again, put it all together including the new toner cartridge. Printed a test page. And we have printing without smudges. Turns out the new cartridge was the culprit. I have no idea if if was broken from the start or if I managed to break it during the installation but I am very happy that we have a functioning copier again. That will print things without gray smudges. Hurray!

Then it was time for dinner. No time for my shower.

The boy and I watched an episode of ‚Eternal Love‘. It was nice but a bit slow again. We’re all waiting for the big culmination of drama. I hope that all the intrigue has been set up now so that we can have the big battle and heartbreak next before the happy ending. Only five more episodes. I then proceeded to watch two episodes of „The King’s Avatar“.

Because it was so late I decided to let the dirty dishes be dirty yet again but I really wanted to take my shower before going to bed. Started writing this post, tidied the kitchen a little and turned the lights out almost on time.

So the two big achievements for the day were fixing the copier and weaving all the ends in on the crochet blanket. Oh, and I transferred the pattern for the next crochet blanket I want to make to my iPad. Which was more complicated than it sounds because the pattern was published as a series of blog posts and I took those and made them into PDFs.

Today there will be the phone call to my mother, hopefully some more productive things and I want to set up a new notebook, the old one only has two pages left.

Next up I need to find a way to motivate myself again and to make myself move more. All this sloth-ing around not wanting to do anything is making me blue.

Woke up too early, wrote morning pages, finished reading a novel.

No yoga, no meditation, no writing. Made breakfast in time for the boy to leave for school. Talked with husband. Saw the optician and confirmed that I need new glasses. Talked about maybe having a pair of glasses just for things like embroidery, sewing and reading. Very exciting. My regular new glasses will be rather expensive, though. And my eyes are so dry that it’s causing problems with my sight. Guess I need to make an appointment for the eye doctor as well. Until then I’ll use all the eye drops.

Called the piano tuner. Pulled out the carbon monoxide detector that has been sitting around since forever because I didn’t feel up to mounting it. Turns out I already had read the manual and marked the important bits. Decided that I don’t need to mount it on the wall with screws and such but that I can just put it on a shelf near the wood stove. Problem solved.

That was when my energy for the day ran out completely. I did the breakfast dishes and tried to push me to clean the house. Instead I sat down, started reading a new novel and ate some cheese. Also, I’m back to reading books on organization and time management for people with ADHD again. No, I don’t think I’m having ADHD. I just need tips that help people who are easily distracted and have a hard time making themselves do things.

My husband had a great idea for lunch:

There were spring rolls as well but I forgot to take a picture before eating them.

Then I started teaching. I had a weirdly full schedule for a Friday. I tried doing some cleaning in between students but couldn’t make myself. One student canceled. One was in the shower when I called her, so we moved her lesson around. During my breaks I just hung around waiting for the week to be over.

I have to say, though, the best thing about my job is that I get to make music. And that I get to work with all those people. I mean, it’s often a bit much for a super-introvert like me but I have so many students that I genuinely like.

I had reminded the boy three times throughout the day that I would be off work at 6.30 so that we could start watching ‚Torchwood‘ right away. When he hadn’t shown up after seven and hadn’t reacted to any of my texts I finally realized that he must have fallen asleep. And he had. I went upstairs to find him sleeping on his bed with some Youtube video playing.

We watched the episode a bit late and it was a very good one. Also a somewhat disturbing one but most of them are.

Then I watched an episode of ‘The King’s Avatar‘, managed to not start a second one right away for once, started writing this post, stacked the dirt dishes neatly and went to bed without writing in my bullet journal or anything else. Oh, apart from taking some pastries out of the freezer so my husband and the boy can have them for breakfast today.

Today there will be the running, some Chinese practice and I guess I won’t plan the rest of the day until after lunch. I’m not sure but all this Chinese learning (which is feeling rather futile and frustrating most of the time) might also be taxing my brain a bit. It feels sluggish and a bit overwhelmed. On the other hand I haven’t been sleeping enough, so that might be a factor as well.

 

I decided to just pretend I was prefect Susanne and do everything right. I mean, yeah, there is no such thing as perfect and I don’t really think anybody will ever be. (Neither do I think there is anything wrong with me, it’s just that living in sloth is exhausting and no fun.)

The first half of the day went very well, as did teaching. I did all the dishes, I practiced Chinese, I did yoga and morning pages and meditated. Lunch was delicious minestrone:

The supermarket walk went well as well.

I finished teaching early because my last student rescheduled and then sat down in front of TV with my dinner. All of that was good. And then I did the thing where you ‚just watch the beginning of the next episode‘. Two times. Until I was too late going to bed yet again. I guess that one will turn out to be a hard habit to break.

Today will be extra busy. I decided to risk going to the optician for new glasses after all. Some of that weird headache-y feeling I’ve been having is probably due to wearing the wrong glasses constantly. So I’m hoping that the optician is a sensible guy. The shop is only open by appointment at the moment and I’ll wear my mask at all times. If I feel unsafe I will leave.

In addition to that I also want to clean the house and teach more students than I usually do on Fridays. Like, twice as many students as usual on Fridays, almost a full day of teaching. So that will be interesting. Bonus points for doing strength training but don’t hold your breath for that.

Maybe I can emulate a person who makes the right decision in the moment and follows through on her plans a bit longer today.

Sinne I went to bed way too late – again – I was somewhat tired all day. Funny that. I do feel very ridiculous posting here every day with the same news. Now I should be able to get myself to bed earlier but part of me doesn’t want to. I’d rather stay up and watch Netflix or read. I should think back to how I feel when I’m well rested. That is a good feeling.

I did do my whole morning routine, well, minus the writing.

The boy went to school, my husband and I talked, I went to the bakery for Faschingskrapfen. I was a little disappointed that they were almost out and didn’t have a lot of bread either but then I was lucky enough to get the last three. Chocolate. One for each of us, so that worked out.

Then I went to the health food store and bought all the things. Minus butter because I didn’t know we needed some. My husband tried calling me but I don’t have reception inside the store. Fortunately he could borrow some from his mother.

So we made lasagna:

Then the boy and I did the dishes and talked about language, in between my husband and I hung up some laundry and talked about people and feelings and then I was all peopled out for the day. Did not do my lesson prep or anything else.

Taught my first student, the second one had forgotten they had a lesson but the third one showed up again. I used the break to make an appointment with the optician. I do need new glasses. I was determined to wait a little longer but then I realized that the weird feeling I have in my eyes must be due to the wrong glasses. So I’ll go and get that checked out on Friday. I hope it will be safe enough. It’s all by appointment and I’ll stay masked. If I feel unsafe I will leave. I supposed it will be a little like going to the doctor.

We had dinner, all three of us together, then I started writing this post, neglected the small pile of dishes, watched another episode of ‚The King’s Avatar‘ and went to bed.

Today there will be running and lots and lots of teaching. Not much more, I guess. I hope to feel a little less sloth-like at least.