Daily Journal – Day 134: Not enough time in the day

And not only isn’t there enough time in the day, there isn’t enough energy either.

I had wanted to go grocery shopping early – like every Tuesday – and then my husband got up late – like every Tuesday. So I went grocery shopping too late – again, like every Tuesday. Seems I need to change my plans in the future.

I did try another grocery store, though, because I realized how much I dread the big one that’s farther away. And that was a good thing, I went to one that I didn’t really like in the past because the selection is not as good. But. It’s near enough that I can walk instead of bike, it has organic meat which the other one doesn’t, I don’t need to cross two big streets with lots of traffic, and also I don’t need to pass my son’s school just when school is out, and everything is clogged with students heading for lunch. So I call that a win.

Then I struggled to do the dishes, and get myself clean because apparently grocery shopping costs energy, and so I could just sing a little before my first students came – only five minutes too early this time but they have been known for coming in fifteen minutes too early most of the time which means I have to be ready fifteen minutes early. And yes, in my life fifteen minutes make a difference.

Then I taught some students, used another fifteen minute break to play some piano, waited for the boy to come downstairs for playing the piano as well, had dinner, waited for my husband to finish teaching, talked to him some more, sat around reading because I was way too tired for everything, did the dishes, worked a little on line edits for novem number one, read some more and went to bed.

Things I had wanted to do but didn’t: sew some more, exercise in some way, start doing deliberate practice instead of just playing something through willy-nilly, dust and vacuum.

Today won’t be much better, I’m having a doctor’s appointment because of my fatigue which means this morning is gone already. And I’m not really expecting anything from that appointment. I’m just thinking I need to try everything before giving up hope.

I’m also cranky because exercise isn’t happening at the moment. The 5,000 steps I walked yesterday while grocery shopping showed me that my leg might be better but it’s not in good enough shape to start running again. Strength training hasn’t been happening either, because a) I don’t want to end up all sore, b) the exercises that don’t make me sore are boring, c) the boy doesn’t really want to do strength training so he’ll use every excuse he possibly can, and most importantly d) by the time I’m ready for strength training in the evening I’m usually so exhausted, tired, and hungry that I don’t manage pushing myself to it.

So, of course, I should do strength training earlier in the day.

This morning I decided that I should start doing yoga in the mornings instead of running until my leg is well again. Better to do something than nothing. And not being able to run doesn’t mean not being able to walk but I’ll tackle that tomorrow when I don’t have a doctor’s appointment.

Sorry, I’m feeling like it’s all whining all the time this week. And there’s still a lot of thinking about the upcoming year and the life I really want happening. And then I try things, and fall on my face again. Which is sometimes a little disheartening.

Like my sweeping declaration to not eat sugar or drink alcohol until I have lost those pesky six kilos that I gained back. While I did indeed not eat sugar or drink alcohol I instead ate all the cheese and nuts which didn’t really help with the weight-loss. So I decided to stop this nonsense last weekend. I am now allowed chocolate again (no more than four pieces per day), and beer or wine on weekends (one, two at the most per day). Interestingly my binge-eating has stopped now. So that’s good.

I guess I’ll feel better after the appointment today. Or mabye I’ll just be completely angry. Either way I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.

And only half a round to go on my corchet blanket.