I have something to confess. Maybe you remember my series of posts on non-dieting, and how I’m only trying to eat like a healthy and sane human being? Do you?
(It’s okay, just go and read it. And it’s okay, if you don’t read all the posts. You don’t have to.)
So, there I was, proud of myself, lost about 20 pounds, eating better; once again I thought I had made it. Only I hadn’t. Slowly my old habits started creeping back in. Only today, I thought as I followed chocolate with beer. Only this once I thought, as I ate without stopping from lunch to bedtime. I was fortunate this time, because I noticed it early. And I tried desperately to go back on track.
Then I read Moxie’ s training’ s blog, where she told about T-Tapp. Curious I clicked on the link: “Lose 2 sizes in 4 weeks.” You need only 15 minutes of exercise a day. And all the success stories. Have you read the testimonials?
Suddenly I found myself like “Losing and looking fabulous? Count me in. Where do I have to sign?” Duh. Mrs. “I’d never diet” and “This is only to overcome unhealthy eating patterns.” was all excited because she wanted to look “Fit and fabulous in 15 minutes”.
Of course I was skeptical. But on the other hand my new workout routine of walking and a little leisurely yoga did not quite help me to build more strength. So I bought the book.
In the course of the first two weeks doing T-Tapp Basic Plus (15 minutes) out of a book (!) I – gained two pounds. BUT: I lost between one and two inches everywhere from my bust to my knees. And I looked more defined, and my posture (not that I had cared about it before) looked way better. I was hooked and ordered the DVD (expensive with a big shipping fee to Europe). Having the DVD helped a lot, but things didn’t proceed quite as spectacular as they begun. Well, that was only to be expected. Recently I even upgraded to the “Total Workout” (50 minutes).
I love this workout. It’s flexible, I can do 15 to 45 minutes depending on my schedule, I’m doing it every other day. I feel good, I look better, and I’m still getting sore muscles doing it, even ‘though I started in the middle of May. It feels as if you’re building the muscles from the inside out. And I like doing the same exercises over and over again, and I have no problems that there is no music or anything. Just a middle aged woman (very lean middle aged woman, but there are other people on the DVD too) working out and talking all the while, “Tuck butt! KLT.”
No the problem I’m having with myself (Are there any others? Thank God these are the only ones right now.) I thought I was mature enough to feel good with myself regardless of my weight, but I’m not. And I’m watching myself getting back into diet mentality. Now, while I’m looking quite good and weigh 20 pounds less than 18 months ago, I felt fat again. ‘Though I’m not. (Last week, looking at a recent picture of me I thought, “But I’m not that thin!”) And I’m putting my life on hold again, until I’ll have reached a certain number on my scale. This is crazy. I so thought I was over this. Blah.
It was only after the new successful workout that my eating started going back to what had been “normal” for me for the past 25 years. It didn’t matter, right? I had the wonder workout. Who cared what I ate?
Well, my body did, obviously. That’s why I never lost weight on exercise. It’s really easy to refill on more calories than I’ve burned.
So there I was. Diet mentality again. Judging myself according to a number on the scale or on a tape measure. (You know how accurate a tape measure is? On the same day I measured myself twice and I could make the results differ by four inches.) But I won’t give in. I’m back on my eating guidelines. I’m back to giving myself stickers for going to bed on time. (Yeah, pathetic, I know.) And I’ll keep on doing it as long as it’s necessary.
Technorati Tags: eating habits, T-Tapp, weight loss
If you talk about things you really care about in the circles I travel (i.e., mostly moms), people think you are a zealot and avoid you in the future.
But I also think you find me terribly boring. But that’s probably the cabin fever talking.
I find this a very interesting post. I wonder if we find people that we have known for a while boring because we think we already know all there is to know about them. Like family.
I try to ask new questions. At Thanksgiving i asked one of my brothers if he had ever had problems with depression, which led to some very interesting conversations with my SIL, whom i have know for 26 years.
But then again, some people are boring to me. I find myself staring over their shoulders to see what else is going on.
I think we all get into ruts of conversation with people with whom we have a lot in common-its one of the coolest things about the blogs. You connect with people that have something(s) in common with you, but they have totally different lives and perspectives on it. I always think of my job as being the most boring on earth, but to some folks, its really cool. I, in turn, think being a coffee barista at starbucks would really rock my socks!
But you know our family, if you talk about things – things that are really important to you – they have the talent to completley depreciate them …
De and my sister have a point. I forgot all about that. A lot of people like to play it safe and not to talk about emotional and important stuff.
Meno, I don’t think that it has something to do with the fact that I’ve known people a long time. I’m not bored when talking to my best friends or to my sister.
And as Ellie said, there are a lot of interesting blogs out there even if the things they blog about aren’t always earth-shattering.
I came here to tell you how much I enjoyed your comment on Christine Kane’s blog! Are you FlyLady-ing? lol I also *really* enjoyed this post! Really got me thinking… I *don’t* go to those things that I don’t feel a connection to – unless I know someone I’m deeply connected to will be there! And that’s what I was thinking as I read, that’s what the difference is for me: do I feel a spiritual connection? Is this person *awake*? Like Ram Dass said, you look in a person’s eyes, and you’re going – “Are you in there? I’m in here.” Because a lot of people aren’t awake and aware. I’m not passionate about taxes… but if I was talking to an awake, aware person about taxes, I would probably enjoy it! ‘Cause my spirit would be fed by the exchange. It’s not whether they’re passionate about it; it’s whether they’re *awake*. Wow! Thanks for your post!
Maybe it is because we know each other so well that we think of other things while talking to each other. There is not enough of the adrenaline produced by chatting to people we want to impress to keep us focused.
I am depressed. You DEFINITELY don’t want to talk to me.
I agree with de in that talking about things that matter is sometimes the instant cue to be ostracized. I mean, it’s definitely not cool for me to recycle or be liberal in the deep south.
Small talk though, sometimes is the stuff of life. I think it is necessary in some circumstances in order that you open the door into talk about things that matter. I find it to be true in blogs and in face to face conversations.
great post.
I enjoyed your comment on Meno’s blog about maintaining friendships and am so pleased I came to check out your blog. Your post gave me much to connect with and think about, that’s the kind of writing I like the best.
Marvelous comments. I don’t know where to start. First the easy one, yes, Caren, I’m doing the Flylady-system. Not all of it, but enough that it has made a huge difference.
I try to spend time with people I feel connected to, but then there are things that are important only to people who are important to me and I choose to attend those because of their importance to them.
Capacious, don’t think I don’t want to talk to you because you’re depressed, I found out that most of the bloggers I like have some history with depression. And I like people to talk to me when I’m depressed too.
Liv has a point too that not all small talk is evil.
Shara and Hel, I’m going to check out your blogs too…
I think idle conversation is not very idle at all. It takes some effort to get it right.
I find I need a combination of things to enjoy a bit of small talk. I need to be listening AND speaking – not just one or the other. I need to be interacting with the other people involved in the conversation – not waiting for my turn to speak and then spewing out what I want to say without considering what they were trying to get across in the first place. The topic is also at least a bit important, but I suppose one can make just about any topic interesting, depending on which aspects of it are being discussed.
And I don’t think I get it right all the time. Mood plays a huge role in everyone’s ability to enjoy a conversation, and mood is anything but constant.
I spend a lot of time with my husband’s students and, believe me, youth can be as dull as dishwater.