creative.mother.thinking

Woke up early, fell back asleep, got up at 6.20. So no morning pages but yoga and meditation. Made breakfast for the boy and me, he went to school a little late, my husband also has been getting up later. He is still feeling a bit down and doesn’t really want to get out of bed in the mornings.

There was snow outside. But I didn’t have to shovel because there wasn’t that much. It was pretty but made running somewhat harder for my husband.

I did start cleaning the house but had one of those days where you’re distracted all the time and so I was far from done when my husband came back. We did manage to work around each other for once, though, so he was making pizza dough in the kitchen while I vacuumed that annex and then he took a shower in the annex while I vacuumed the old part of the house and I did get the cleaning done just in time to help with the pizza and salad.

Lunch tasted wonderful and was even on time:

Then the boy and I talked until it was time for me to start teaching.

After the first student I remembered the load of laundry I had started and hung that up, practiced Chinese and ate a snack. Then another student, ten minutes of strength training (first time all month, yeah!), some YouTube and then I started revising the first Eva Mandel novel. It took me twenty minutes to get through six pages so that might take some time. The whole thing has 363 pages. Oops. That would be twenty hours. On the other hand the first few pages always take more time to revise. At least I hope so.

Then the last student of the day.

The boy and I watched an episode of ‚Torchwood‘. One of my favorites. Then I watched an episode of ‚Find Yourself‘ while the boy took a shower, the two of us did all the dishes, I started writing this post and got ready for bed.

Today there will be running, more revision, some writing (I hope) and maybe some mending. Also Netflix. And I started playing around with Chinese, trying to form my own sentences and write them down instead of just relying on what the apps are giving me. It’s really hard but also fun. Writing in Chinese is totally kicking my ass, so there’s a lot to learn. That will be fun! Also frustrating but I don’t mind.

I woke up early after not enough sleep. (Note to self: never, ever click on „next episode“ – you’re future self will thank you)

I did most of my morning routine but derailed it somewhat by picking up my phone at one point. Oops, no writing again. Funny how that happens. (I guess by now I can legitimately call it my new morning routine. I don’t like it, though, so I better change it again.)

I did make breakfast in time for the boy who had a rather crazy day ahead. Distance learning for the first two periods where he gave a presentation on „The Elizabethan world view“ (would have loved to listen in). Then he had to rush to school in order to get his covid test, then wait for thirty minutes or so before writing an important math test, then back home to attend the last two periods in front of his computer. (German. I don’t think he was all that focused on the lesson.)

Meanwhile I went to the supermarket pretty early and bought all the groceries. I did forget to buy ham and salami because I was so busy looking for gorgonzola and green pepper. Walked back home while listening to music. I don’t listen to podcasts at the moment because my head feels so full, so when I’m out walking or running I prefer music so that part of my brain can just mull things over.

I put all the groceries away and then it was time to walk to the optician to choose new frames for new computer glasses. That was the riskiest thing I’ve done in ages, by the way, infection numbers are climbing and there was a point where I had to pull the top of my mask down a bit so that the new frames would sit on my nose instead of on the mask. There was ventilation and everything but still. But. Next week I’ll have new computer glasses and then I will be able to teach and work on the computer with less eye strain. Which means less strange headache-y feelings.

Back home I practiced Chinese for a bit, then we had lunch:

Feijoada.

Then I did the dishes, took a break with some tea and marzipan and then I taught all afternoon with a break where I helped the boy with admin.

I started writing this post, hung up the load of laundry my husband had put in earlier in the day, ate dinner in front of TV, let the dishes be dirty and went to bed on time for a change. Yeah me!

Today will be the cleaning of the house, teaching three students and watching ‚Torchwood‘ in the evening. Exciting!

I slept very well and woke from the alarm at 5.30. Did my complete morning routine, made breakfast and actually wrote new words on the novel. Phew.

Talked with my husband, did the dishes, went for a run:

I’m back to rather slow walk/run intervals. It was very muddy.

And cold, hence the hat.

My husband made asparagus risotto for lunch and it was delicious:

He thinks we need all the protein. Also, we’ll be getting more eggs today and so we should eat the ones we got last week.

After lunch the boy told me all about the presentation that was due two hours later. About the Manhattan Project. Very interesting but I have to say, I was a bit peopled out at this point. I did get a break, though, after that and before teaching.

Teaching went reasonably well and my last student canceled. Which is when I started writing this post.

I had dinner and started rewatching „Find Yourself“. I’m trying out what happens if I turn off subtitles. I already know the story so it should help me get better with Chinese. It’s fascinating. I’m sitting there, there is all this drama and what I understand is, „I don’t know! I’m sorry!“ Blablabla. Something cry, something no, something yes, wide swaths of just syllables. And so on.

My Chinese is not good enough by far to understand anything but it’s rather fascinating to feel how my mind is trying to make sense of the language. I talked about it with the boy the other day, I have reached the point where my brain knows that this is just another language and should make sense. So I get careless in reading the subtitles, look away, expect to understand the gist of it and only then do I realize that nothing made sense. So my brain thinks I should understand all of it, I mean it’s just Chinese after all, but in fact I don’t understand much at all.

On the other hand nothing bad will happen if I watch a TV show and don’t understand it. I’m hoping that this kind of immersion will speed my learning up.

I did do my Duolingo and Fluent Forever exercises, of course, I have moved those to later in the day because they kept clogging my mornings. Now I’m doing them when I’m near unconscious at the end of the day. Still. It’s worth it.

Went to bed on time. I even read a bit. I’ve started a new novel, „Featherbed“ by Annabeth Albert. It’s set in Sarina Bowen’s True North universe and I’m just breezing through. I also started The fourth book in the Star Kingdom-series by Lindsay Buroker but decided that I wanted something a bit fluffier first.

Today there will be the walk to the health food store, teaching three students and I’m hoping that I’ll be happy with what I get done today as well.

I had a day of brain fog and doing mostly nothing.

The day did start well with waking up around six well-rested and then yoga and meditation. Breakfast and such. But brain fog.

My husband and I started cooking almost right after breakfast because he had plans!

I called my mother in between and then we had lunch somewhat too late. Here is our antipasto:

Rucola, home-grown in my husband’s studio with parmesan, olive oil and bread.

Our primo piatto was this:

Babette with butter and parmesan. The boy got some extra pesto to go with that. And then there was the main course:

Ossobuco alla milanese. The pieces of beef were huge, but at this point we were already so full that we just cut off a small piece for each of us and put the rest away to eat later.

I did the dishes right away and then I sat around all afternoon doing nothing.

I found the drawing again that describes my current state perfectly. Someone asked me if that might be a light depression. Yep, I think it actually might be. Part of it is due to the pandemic, the rest started before that. And the remaining rest is just part of my personality.

So I have been thinking about what to do for quite some time now and since this is all in my head I’ve been thinking the thoughts in my head might also be the solution. I’ll see what I’ll come up with. Last night I decided to follow the example of Laura Vanderkam’s 5 yo and to remind myself that I am in charge of myself.

Other than that I spent a huge portion of the afternoon trying to help the boy with getting his religion homework done (due last Friday). He is so wrought up by the texts he is supposed to read and the silliness of the questions that he actually spent two days ranting against said homework, completely unable to write anything.

Now, I get why he is feeling indignant, I would too but he doesn’t have to do a good job, the whole thing doesn’t need to make sense and yes, one could write a doctoral dissertation about every single one of these questions and yes, I understand why he is upset. But. Just write down something so you don’t get a failing grade, please, thanks. I mean, if I had been in his place I would probably just have asked a friend for his homework, re-phrased everything and called it good.

The problem with this was, of course, that he should have worked on the presentation that is due today. So, that will be interesting. He will be distance-learning today, so I guess we know what he will be doing while listening to his teachers today. The presentation is due in the afternoon.

In between visits from an angry boy my husband showed up to share with me the wonder that is Walter Benjamin’s „Passagen-Werk“. That is a rather peculiar book, I must say. I got read some passages and my husband waxed poetically about the language and the fact that Benjamin is grounding his philosophy in material culture and such.

It was very sweet but it also showed me that out taste in reading material is rather different. No, I definitely won’t read Benjamin. I’ll stick with Lindsay Buroker’s ‚Star Kingdom‘-series, though, once I’m through with book three I want to switch to something else for a bit.

I did feel a bit like a spoilsport because my husband started showing me a paragraph or two about fashion that went on to poetic philosophy, I decided to read it myself because I dislike being read to (way too slow), found that Benjamin wrote some sick things about crinolines and bonnets and then he segued into how being horizontal is better for women especially when they’re pregnant and went on to speculate that men became bipedal earlier than women. What? Really?

My husband hadn’t read that part yet, by the way.

The boy was too busy to watch something with me so I watched the last two episodes of ‚Put your head on my shoulder‘. That was, um, interesting as well. The whole show is okay and a little silly but the part where they are in Heidelberg in Germany is especially weird. Heidelberg looked nice (I think they used stock footage which is alright) but the fact that every single person in ‚Heidelberg‘ spoke English and that they then went to a church to get married by an English speaking priest who did a rather American ceremony? Strange, very strange.

I might be a bit over silly romance series.

Today there will be the usual Monday things. Running, teaching all the students and I still need to plan the week out, it got too late last night.