As you might have guessed I’m busy, busy again – nothing new.

I wanted to write about vacationing at home some more, put up a story or two, and tell you all about how I’m failing my “one goal for the year”. And I will, eventually. For now I’m helping my husband prepare for a house concert, He will be playing here at our house tomorrow evening, and we’re getting everything ready while doing our usual teaching and stuff. There’s also a friend of mine visiting whom I haven’t seen for years and years. And I’m planning my knitting classes for fall. This is the picture I took today for my “Knitting perfectly fitting pullovers”-class:

perfektepullis

See you.

 

After a busy sprint towards Ester break we’re now enjoying a somewhat more leisurely pace, my family and I. Now usually at the start of any kind of break I tend to freeze, and get paralyzed with choices, and plans, and such, and this time I thought I’d learn from past mistakes and make the transition a little smoother.

We also, usually, tend to make big plans for projects of all sorts, and then in the end, spend all our time off work and school at home, each of us in his own room, doing things alone. Which is quite enjoyable but then we do like to spend time with each other as well. Even if we sometimes need a little reminder.

So this time we started Easter break even before it had begun by thinking about what things we’d like to do, and possibly when. And fit those things around the appointments that were already made in advance, like my writer’s meeting next week, and my husband’s rehearsal, and important soccer games that have to be watched on TV, and also out wedding anniversary next week. (I’ll be out that evening, at the writer’s meeting. Yes, it’s alright, I got clearance by my husband, and I plan to go out with him some day next week instead.)

Last Sunday we went on out first bike tour for this year. There was a sheep shearing fest at a local museum farm thing, called Jexhof. There were also quite a few handspinners there, representing the local guild. I have recently become a member but have never been to any meetings. So we unearthed the map with all the bike trails, looked up how to get there, decided we’d go late in favor of eating lunch at home first, packed some cookies, water bottles, sun screen, sweaters, and in my case a spindle and some fiber and set off.

When we told my mother-in-law about our plan she nearly fainted. For some reason she thought the museum was so far away it would take us about two hours to get there. Um, no, only a little more than an hour. That’s what we had guessed when looking at the map, and that’s how long it took.

The weather was fabulous, sunny and not too hot. I found that I get easily out of breath when biking uphill due to my asthma but recover very quickly. It’s still a bit weird to me, all the people we meet see a not-young, over-weight woman riding a bike, and gasping for air at the slightest molehill, and I’m the only one who knows that I’m actually quite fit. But I sure don’t look like it.

When we arrived at the historic farm there was a huge crowd. Everybody had brought the children to see the sheep being shorn. We went in anyways.

My son then went to climb trees and do other important things, while my husband was happy to sit in a quiet corner, away from the crowds, and I went to look for the spinners who were sitting in the other part of the yard where the café and most of the people were.

I actually did know one of them, a regular from the other spinning group I belong to, so I stayed and chatted, and watched sheep being shorn, and answered questions of the people passing by. “Look, that lady does crochet!” (No, she doesn’t it’s called spinning, dear.) that woman I knew before even gave me a big wad of Falkland top, very nice and soft and smooshy, and when I ran out of fiber I gathered my family, and we rode our bikes back home.

Sorry, I didn’t take any pictures at all. I’m a bad tourist. Still, it was a great day, very nice bike ride, and it felt like being on vacation for real.

 

 

And another sunny day here, I’m getting pretty spoiled, haven’t had to wear socks throughout the day for days on end now. (Weather report say we’re due to get low temperatures and freezing nights again starting Tuesday.)

We did mostly household chores like stripping all three beds which reminded me that we don’t own enough sheets for all of them. We need an extra duvet cover for my son’s bed because we gave him a bigger one than he had before. Having to sleep in the sleeping bag was averted, though, by doing the laundry quite early, and now everything has dried in the glorious sunshine to be put back on the beds again soon-ish.

I spun for about 40 minutes, and I read a bit, and I went for a walk, and I even played the piano for a short while, and now my husband reminds me that I had wanted to play guitar today as well which I’ll better do soon, before it’s time for dinner.

I was also asked about what my favorite kind of chocolate is, and all I could come up with so far is, “It depends.”  And so I have been pondering what kind of chocolate I like, and why, and how to categorize that in a way that another person could choose something I like, and it all has become way too complicated. I can’t even say if I like milk or dark better because it’s all about context, texture, and flavor. And there is a place in my heart both for very expensive and fancy dark chocolate and cheap candy bars. Nothing with liquor in it, though, I like my vices separate.

The thing is, I tend to think way too much about what I like, and why, and how to tell in advance because with all things – music, clothes, color, food – I keep meeting people who tell me, “If you like that you will like this.” and then I don’t. And then they point out that it has everything I said I liked, and they are right but I still don’t like it. And this puzzles me. And makes it really hard for the people I love to find suitable presents for me.

It’s like with colors. One can’t usually go wrong getting something for me in orange. And blue is always a bad choice. Unless it isn’t.

So I keep looking at things and thinking, “Why do I like this, and don’t like that? What is it about that that I like, and about that that I dislike? But then there was this other thing that I liked even though it has that quality that I usually don’t like but that time was different, but why?”

And I know that I’m over-thinking things – as usual – but I thought some of you might relate.

Mar 312011
 

Today I went on a school trip with my son’s class. We went to visit the somewhat local newspaper. Though I took lots of pictures I can’t show you most of them since you can see so many children’s faces. But I thought this one was safe. On our way back to the bus station we also looked at a very pretty old church. This is a St Leonhard’s church for the patron saint of horses:

school trip

The children are all looking at the gorgeous ceiling to find saints that they know:

st

 

In my quest for self-improvement I have started quite a few journals: morning pages journal, food journal, practice journal, exercise journal, gratitude journal, writing journal, control journal (for housework), tarot journal, weight journal well, I think that’s about it. Oh, and a notebook to capture my project ideas, and then I also have a general notebook, and a knitting notebook, and a small notebook to carry in my purse, and another one next to the computer. And a record of books I buy and read. And a notebook to jot down musical ideas.

I also have to-do-list software. Then I found myself, after running, checking “running” off in three places. And then I thought that my journaling had gone a bit too far.

I started to record all these things in order to measure improvement. I wanted to achieve certain goals and I started of actually measuring whether I achieved them or not. Otherwise one can think that one exercises at least three times a week only to find that, oops, a week has gone by, and then another. That’s all very valid. I also love my morning pages, so I sit down and write them almost daily. And then I don’t for a few days, and then I go back to them. No problem.

I do love putting my exercise time in my calendar, and with the toggle of a button I can see all the days that I exercised in one place, and then I feel all virtuous.

The food journal, that’s another thing. I have started writing down what I eat many times in my life. And I started again on January 1st. At first I was all good, but then I missed a day here and there, then a whole week, and now I find that I’m really not all that interested in keeping a food journal. I don’t count calories or anything. I just write down “1 piece of toast with almond spread, 1 glass of orange juice, 1 cup of black tea with 1 piece of sugar”. Of course food journaling can help when you want to know what’s going on but I don’t need to write down “ate a whole bag of potato chips because I was bored and angry” to see why I have gained weight. There are people who eat better when keeping a food journal, I’m not one of them. I have food journal entries laying around the house from years ago that go, “Was completely pissed and therefore ate a bag of chips, one bag of gummy bears, half a chocolate bar, and two beers. Feel lousy and bloated. Half an hour later: finished the chocolate.” (Just typing this makes me nauseous these days. I think I have come a long way.)

So I try to be good with the food journaling but what’s the point. It helps to show me that the treats I give myself are not exactly treats because they happen just about every day. These days I’m rather good with food, mostly, and so I will skip the food journal.

But you know, every time I write a paragraph here I remember yet another journal of mine, and add it to the first paragraph. It’s clear that the record-keeping has gone out of hand. I’m not quite as insane as that list of journals implies, though, because there are quite a few of these journals that I no longer keep. But right now I’m on the verge of giving up on record-keeping altogether. These journals were meant to be helpful for me, not something to occupy me all the time. I think I might get rid of one or two.

It’s not like I bought about twenty notebooks one day and thought, “From now on I’ll record everything!” I just bought a morning pages book in 1999, well the first of many. And I’ve had general notebooks even longer than that. I remember going into the one big store in the small town where I lived until 1986 to buy a notebook because my life had reached a level of complexity too high for keeping it all in my head. That was about the same time that I started using a calendar as well. Until then there was the family wall calendar for things like doctor’s appointments and that was it.

Let’s see – the morning pages stay because I like them. Having several general notebooks makes it a bit hard to find things later but still I like it. And I have a system. Sort of. So they stay as well. Also the knitting notebook, and the place were I record my reading. I started cataloguing my books when I had bought the same book twice one day. I hadn’t remembered that I already had it. The gratitude journal didn’t really work out for me. When I read back it only made me realize how unhappy I really was. the control journal for housework never really worked either. I do know that I have to clean the house at least once a week. I don’t really need a checklist because a look at the house itself will tell me what to do.

I’m quite attached to weighing myself daily. I even have an iPod app that gives me progress reports on how I’m doing with weight loss. I think I’ll keep that. Apart from that I think I might take some time off from journals. I have taken a bit of time off from trying to improve myself in all areas at once anyway.

So for now I’ll accept that I’m both journaled out and self-helped out. I take a break. And I won’t create a new task on my electronic to-do-list that’s called: take time off from journaling, repeat daily until further notice. I promise.

 
  1. I have a kind of blogger’s block because I still think I should have started the year with a “How my year of happiness went”-post, and a “My big goal for 2011″-post. I will do those some time before 2011 ends, but it is starting to get ridiculous.
  2. I also promised to make an English podcast episode, and I will, as soon as I find some space in my head.
  3. We had a very nice weekend, and went to some family brunch thing where we met other gifted families, and it was a lot of fun. But, very pricey, and no housework got done for the weekend.
  4. Which is why my husband have spent the day so far, furiously cleaning all the things. Floors where mopped. With water. Laundry got washed. There is still one load in the washer which I will have to hang up in the next 25 minutes.
  5. I’m typing as fast as I can.
  6. I got a new spindle, and I love, love, love it. Still, to show it I would have to take a picture, and it’s started to snow again which means – no light outside.
  7. I am also a bit grumpy because so far I’ve had my period not once but twice this month. In fact since the beginning of the year I’ve only had a week off.
  8. I went to see a specialist on menopause, and she thought it might be early-onset menopause. Then she asked me if I were okay with that. And what about if I couldn’t have any more children.
  9. I would be totally okay with that if I could please reach some hormonal equilibrum in the near future. Interestingly I’m totally done with having babies, and I don’t think it would make me feel old, and undesirable.
  10. I am quite sure that I have asthma after all. In addition to being triggered by allergies it might be triggered by exercise as well. Fun times! I already have a doctor’s appointment for that the week after next.
  11. I haven’t managed to write much this month either, and that makes me grumpy as well.
  12. It’s snowing like crazy, and I should be shoveling right now on top of everything else.
  13. It was my husband’s birthday last week, and we had a fabulous day, having lunch at an Indian restaurant not far from us, and in the evening we went and had some beer, just him and me. We almost never do this because whenever we go to Munich we think we should be doing something really special, like seeing a concert. But this very low-key celebration was exactly the right thing to do.
  14. I’ll leave you with a bad picture of the spindle. One day, when the sun will come back I’ll take a better one:

threadsthrutime

 

Interesting day so far. I had a bout of “doing all the things I had meant to do weeks ago”, resulting in a hung calendar (pretty if it weren’t for the nail I had to rip out three times … now there are a few “interesting” holes in the walls at eye height), an almost fixed wash basin (well, one can use it, it only drops a little, ahem), and me ordering yet more ebooks, and updating my librarything. Then I went to check my bank account, and after that I’m far more motivated to stop buying ebooks for now.

Three of my students didn’t show up, one re-schedule. My son is completely over-tired because he spent Saturday night at a friend’s house, and so he had had three tantrums already. He found a carnival costume he likes, and that I don’t have to sew, and had to buy it now, this minute. I made him do his homework first, cruel me.

Yesterday I spent five hours watching “How I Met Your Mother” while knitting my husband’s Lotus Leaf Mittens. I start loathing them but with the one hour I knit on them today they might get finished until his birthday on Thursday.

And I made an appointment to talk to someone about my peri-menopausal problems.

I think tonight I should go to bed early; this sounds suspiciously like overdrive.

 

and I’m really enjoying the quiet time we’re having.

I also know that I haven’t written an update on my year of happiness in months, and yes, I will wrap it up eventually. I also didn’t write my yearly “List of books I’ve read” yet, and I don’t know if I will but then you can go to librarything and look up my “books read in 2010″-list.

Christmas was very nice this year, with most of the traditional elements:

Weihnachtsessen

the food

weihnachtsbaum

the tree (a bigger one this year)

weihnachtsengel

the angels my mother gave us.

I hope you have a quiet time as well.

Dec 212010
 

A little meh day for no apparent reason. I seem to be a bit exhausted and overwhelmed. (I typed “everwhelmed” at first, a very fitting description.) It’s already 4 pm, there was a bit of sunshine earlier but now it’s gray again. I did manage to send away the Christmas package to my parents and another one to my sister, and now I’m done with getting gifts here and there. It seems that the gift giving has reached a critical mass, this year there were half a dozen packages already. (My sister had to order my parents’ gifts for us from online because while my father has been owning a computer for about 40 years (early adopter) he somehow isn’t able to do it on his own. So my sister ordered All the Presents, said she wanted them in one package and then every little book and CD came on his own. We had a fun time sorting it all out. If the postman has to ring our bell one more time I have to give him a present too. (He already told me (when he rang on Sunday which is his day off) that he was too busy to go to the doctor for his ear infection, eye infection and the dog bite he got.)

Then I helped the mother of a three week old baby with her sling. About seven years ago I volunteered, people can get my phone number and make an appointment with me, and then I show them how to carry their babies in the sling. I keep forgetting that I’m on the list because so far only three people ever called me about that. It was nice to get to help someone but then I find that the baby thing is not my thing anymore. I really like to encourage the carrying and the use of a sling but I will remove my name from the list.

Then I helped my husband to cook, had lunch (excellent Greek food today, calamari, tsatziki, and kritharaki), had a fight with my son because he needed to hurry up to get back to some school activity, threw him out the door, and taught four students.

And now I’m sitting here, my last student of the day canceled and so I get to do All the Grocery Shopping, and maybe get a tree so that this Christmas we might have one that looks a little less sad, crooked, and Charlie Brownish.

By the way, this new format of blog post comes from me posting these little daily reports on a spinner’s forum where everybody just tells what kind of day they had. When I looked at that, and that it was quite long I thought it might make a good substitution for a real blog post. I hope you like it at least a little bit.

 

So today’s my son’s 8th birthday, and so I stayed up late yesterday to bake and decorate 30 cupcakes to take to school today,

cupcakes

also de-frosted the cake, decorated the breakfast table,

candles

and set all his presents out.

presents

Today I got up extra early, snuggled a bit with said son (my favorite bit of the day so far), we had breakfast all together (for the birthday even my husband got up early). Then bringing the child and the cupcakes to school, all the while feeling guilty because my MIL was out shoveling snow, and then I felt bad again when the teacher asked if I would come and get the tray later. I thought my son would be totally able to carry a tray home from school, especially when it’s empty. (For the tray full of cupcakes, not so much.) Only later did I realize that in today’s culture where walking through the snow is considered cruel punishment most parents would have picked up both the child and the tray. It’s really weird that I have my mom guilt-moments at the exact time when I’m spending all my time and energy doing things for the son instead of me.

Then a bit of drinking tea and chatting with husband, then errands again, now I’m all set with buying presents. Then hanging up of laundry, and running for 30 minutes (indoors!), having lunch with my son and his friend. His friend is about the loudest talking kid I know. When I went to the annex to take a shower my husband said, “Guess what pitch our son’s friend’s talking is.” I said Ab. I was right. (This flummoxes me a little, and makes me proud.)

Then I made them both do homework, then I taught two piano students, then I started writing this and had a piece of birthday cake, then I taught four more students, and then was now.

I haven’t knit or spun any so far. Now I’m waiting for my last student of the day and then it’s beer o’clock.

Tomorrow I will host a Star Wars birthday party. So far I have everything I need for a cake with blue frosting, green colored soda, extra strong paper and elastic for making masks, and a list of game ideas. And origami paper for folding x-wing-fighters. I have the feeling that beer o’clock will come early tomorrow, and that I won’t be doing anything on Sunday.

I have been all bake-y lately, I even made my very first Stollen. Lactose-free and only a trace of fructose:

Stollen

The end.

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