Jan 222019

Woke up early and felt like when you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep again because your brain is in automatic anxiety and panic-mode. For no reason.

I did forget that there was still cake for breakfast and started getting everything ready for muesli first. Well, my husband did eat that, so that was good.

We were all a little slow that morning. But me especially so. So I puttered around and only got ready for running at eleven. And the I was totally scared that I would a) run too fast and have a heart attack (very unlikely) or b) slip on the hard snow and ice, fall and break my hip (also very unlikely). Never mind that I had been out running the week before in conditions that were more or less the same.

I have to say it was rather chilly, though, and with all the anxiety – even though I knew it wasn’t real – I couldn’t bring myself to run. I had a nice but cold walk instead:

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I came back with fingers that felt like icicles and that took about fifteen minutes to thaw. Next time it’s that cold I should wear heavier mittens.

My husband made lunch and it was heavenly:

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Pasta e fagioli is the perfect, hearty, warming meal for weather like this.

Then I took a break, did the dishes, did my singing warm-up and actually prepared for my lessons. I decided that I need to make a list of things I need to do for teaching instead of relying on odd post-its in my studio, and that I need to schedule actual time for that.

So now I feel all prepared for most of my lessons this week. I still need to practice one or two songs, though.

There was email.

Then the potential new ukulele student showed up. She said hello, sat down and pulled out a notebook and pen. Seems she is my kind of person. We talked a bit and I showed her a few chords and told her what to look for in a ukulele.

Then I taught some more, unpacked the massive ring light I bought for recording video and played around with it a bit. It is really, really bright. I still need to play around with placement and need to find out how to prevent it from glaring on my glasses but I do like it.

Then the boy and I booked him into Easter camp which included much deliberation about which projects to choose. Then he played some piano and I played some games on my iPad.

By then my anxiety was mostly gone but not completely. So I decided that I needed to do some writing to feel better.

Today there will be the health food store and quite a bit of teaching and strength training and not much more. I’m hoping for a day less anxious, definitely.

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