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Daily Journal – Day 456: Feeling low

December 12, 2018 by Susanne Leave a Comment

Woke up at 5.30 again and wrote morning pages. I feel that that basically is the sum of everything I got done but that’s not really true.

Did not write at all but thought a lot about goals and how much time I need to do what I want to and where to fit that into my life and such. Long conversation about the topic with my husband who thinks that this kind of planning and thinking is a waste of time and that the only way to get anything done is to just do it.

I tried to explain to him that if I could just do the things I want to do without thinking I wouldn’t have a problem at all. So yes, I do think that his method works, only I don’t think it works for me. Also, I do have a few rather involved projects and I feel like I do need a road map for those.

Just that morning I had sat down to find out how much time it would take for me to finish the novel-in-progress until the end of the year, and learn all I want about book cover design.

Well, the good news is that the two book cover design classes and the one book I want to get through will ‚only‘ take half an hour each day. The bad news is that the novel would require 1 1/2 hours each day. I do know that I have that kind of time. But. Experience tells me that it is highly unlikely that I’ll spend that much time on writing each and every day. Bummer.

After doing the dishes and such I went to the health food store. When I came back at noon I helped with making lunch. I had bought some ground veal a couple of weeks before (frozen, don’t worry) and my husband wanted to make meat loaf with mushrooms and creme sauce. Potatoes would have been nice but we ran out, and we didn’t have the orecchiette he would have wanted so he decided to make polenta. And then make fried polenta balls from it.

Yeah, we did eat somewhat late. But it was pretty good. Turns out that polenta just disintegrates in the frying pan (should have cooked that the day before) but adding some flour to the outside did help:

IMG 2054

IMG 2055

And that was basically it with the day. I did manage to do the dishes right away because my first student called in sick, then I taught all the students until 6, did forty minutes of strength training with the boy, and then it was time for my goal-setting webinar.

The webinar was on zoom which I heartily dislike, and there seemed to be the expectation of lively participation. We were supposed to be on video and audio and answer questions all the time.

I wanted to use the time for spinning my advent calendar and I was already peopled out for the day so I left after ten minutes and went to youtube to finish watching a video on goal setting. I really liked that one, by the way.

Spun my fiber, talked to the boy a bit, then my husband was finally done with teaching for the day and wanted to talk about his day a bit.

Then I started writing this.

I had had high hopes of doing some fiction writing after that but it was already 9 pm, I was really tired and so I just cleaned off my makeup and went to bed.

At least I didn’t feel as low in the evening as I did in the morning, so that’s a win.

Today there will be running and hopefully some potato-buying at the farmer’s market (depends a little on the weather because a big sack of potatoes requires the bike trailer and you don’t want to pull a bike trailer through the snow) and quite a bit of teaching.

There is another webinar, this time about finances for women again but I think I’ll skip that and watch something else while spinning. Probably that cooking show.

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