Archives for June 2018

So yesterday was one of those dangerous day, a day with a lot of free time.

Guess, how much writing I got done?

Well, no, it wasn’t nothing. It was 221 words.

Yeah, I didn’t find that surprising as well. I might have to make sure that I have busier days in the future.

I got up early and promptly spent an hour on the internet. I also wrote my blog post but mostly I read stuff. Then breakfast, then talking with my husband and feeling sorry for myself. We both have a lot of things going on, as usual, and he is meeting people right and left.

And in talking to him it was getting clearer and clearer that going out that night and going to spinning meeting on Saturday would be too much.

I looked up the people who had said they were coming to that author meet-up and found that all the women who were going were employed by a German ebook reader/publishing company. And the guys were looking as if I didn’t have anything in common with them.

And I told my husband, „And then I will go to this thing, and then I will get all upset and then I will rant about the whole thing for two days non-stop, and I will drink too much and shake my head at people who are doing business as if it were 2010, and I will get home way too late and feel horrible.”

And then I asked myself why I wanted to go.

Last time had been sort of nice. And I keep wanting to meet people who want to achieve the same kind of goals that I do. And people who are like me. But then I had this revelation. The chances of meeting someone like me at that meet-up were so slim that I’d better stay at home and work on my novel.

I’m trying to ask myself only one question at the moment (and failing but that’s another story), „Does this help me reach my big goal?”

If it isn’t I’m supposed not to do it.

So right before lunchtime I decided to just stay at home. And immediately I felt a lot happier.

I try leaving my comfort zone and networking with people but really, this has never worked before. Why am I thinking that it will work this time?

It is like when I was a teenager and I would go to every party possible, and every time I would think, „Maybe this time I will meet the one. Or make new friends. It might happen. I need to get out more. Nobody will ring at my door and ask me to be their friend or lover.”

Do you know how I met my husband?

I met him because my ex was playing with him. I went to see them perform one night because my vocal jazz quintet practice had been canceled. I opened the door for this guy with the guitar and there was an immediate attraction. Not because I was going to parties all the time.

No idea if that was an epiphany but maybe I will stop seeking connections in the wrong places, who knows.

There was lunch, of course, with the obligatory photo (you guys, you really should try my husband’s food some day, it is delicious):

Pork cutlets today.

Then I procrastinated like crazy, felt sorry for myself some more, sang a bit, taught two whole students, procrastinated some more, thought about the novel and realized what the next scene should be. And procrastinated some more.

Then I watched yet another webinar, this one held by the fabulous Jessica Abel, and then I went to bed.

Today will be the usual Friday madness, pizza, cleaning, teaching all.the.students all afternoon, and then slump down in front of Netflix.

I’m hoping that I will be able to get out of the slump eventually. I might need to give myself a kick in the behind. Oh, if you need one yourself I can recommend this excellent TEDx talk that I found through Rachael Herron’s blog:

Woke up early – a little too early – and read. Made breakfast, read some more, started writing a little. 80 words in my husband showed up for breakfast.

Went for my run. Running is more fun again. I seem to be over my slump. I’m blaming allergies, mostly, and now I’m taking a higher dose of anti-allergy meds.

I took a shower, and sat down to write. Got 700 words. Helped make salad for lunch. Lunch was late enough that the boy ate with us:

Then I did the dishes, didn’t have enough time to do my singing or piano-playing and then I taught quite a few students. Had a student rescheduled and waited for her at four but she showed up at five. Which was exactly what we had agreed on but I had put it in the wrong time-slot in my calendar.

When she showed up the thunderstorm was in full swing. Earlier it had started with rather dramatic thunder and lightning but then it became even worse. And the rain was coming down hard enough that there were puddles in the grass. And then it started hailing. I really feared for my skylight.

It was all over an hour later but my husband was devastated because the leaves of his red beets and zucchini were shredded. And then the slugs came out for their attack.

So while I was getting myself ready to write some more, for real this time, and make big progress, he needed someone to talk to and to commiserate. While I was basically shrugging my shoulders thinking, well, we need to wait until the next day to see how bad it really is, and that’s nature.

I am not my most perceptive in the evenings. Doing anything past seven pm is a struggle and making conversation is near impossible. Unfortunately both my husband and the boy are evening persons. When you ask them how they are first thing in the morning they don’t even know. But they want to have long and convoluted and philosophical conversations at night.

So no writing, instead talking with my husband about doom and gloom and climate change and then bed.

Today I will write all the words. I am only teaching two students because there were cancellations. After the last one I will dash off to the train station and visit an author meet-up by the „Selfpublisher Verband“. I am rather nervous but I have been to one of these before which makes the whole thing a little easier.

I am feeling bad because I still haven’t published anything but that can’t be helped. My goal was to at least have the current novel written until today but I really doubt that I will manage to write 10,000 to 15,000 words today. Not with all the other things I need to do.

Like printing new business cards again.

One would think that writing is the worst thing in the world. (Well it is. If I haven’t written. If I have I usually feel rather giddy and sleep like a log.)

I woke up early, decided to start the day with writing and instead checked email and instagram. Yes, this is a stupid habit. I should break it.

Then I had breakfast, and read a little and went online some more and played some games on my iPad as one does after breakfast (shush, my dragons need to be fed). And then I go almost discombobulated because the boy was starting school 45 minutes later than usual which meant he came down for breakfast basically the minutes I had finished meditating and thought to myself that it would be a good thing to write now.

Just before he went out the door my husband showed up for his breakfast.

We talked and I knitted and then I did the dishes and the I waited for the wood delivery for an hour or so. Of course one can’t write when waiting for something. Clearly.

The wood came around 10.30 and then we spent an hour stacking wood. In the heat. Fun workout.

Then there was just enough time to go and get my ID that has been ready for a week. So there went another thirty minutes. Then I sat down and waited for my husband to start cooking so I could help.

Helped with making lunch, ate lunch:

Sat with the boy while he was eating lunch a little later. Did the dishes, started folding laundry.

Waited for my first student because, clearly, twenty minutes aren’t worth it to start writing. Of course.

Taught students. Had an unexpected thirty minutes off but had to make a phone call first and then check email, and of course, twenty minutes aren’t really long enough to start writing. Also, I was waiting for my new sleep and fitness tracker.

Used my usual 15-minute break to print new grocery lists.

Taught some more.

Procrastinated some more.

Found that my tracker had been delivered, and went to find it.

Set the tracker up.

Started writing this post.

Packed my whole stuff together and moved myself back to the apartment.

Got ready for bed.

Decided that I was way too tired for writing, went to bed early.

So, not the most productive of days. I’m hoping to do better today.

Today there will be running and teaching quite a few students and definitely more writing than yesterday.

I slept well after finally getting some writing done the day before and jumped out of bed, ready for the day.

The boy was grumpy, he didn’t want to go back to school at all.

I went running somewhat early because I also wanted to go grocery shopping as well. Today we will get a big delivery of wood for the stove for next winter, and so I won’t know how much time there will be in the morning. We need to stack the wood as well.

So I ran and took a few pictures:

Why yes, it was rather hot.

Went to the health food store and rode my bike to the big supermarket. I seem to have almost cracked that one, I even found the capers.

I didn’t help much with lunch, I only had to grate parmesan. This is a family favorite meal, pasta e fagioli:

Did the dishes, took a shower, die my singing warmup, taught a few students, and then wanted to write but didn’t.

Attended a webinar. Wrote some and managed to go to bed on time.

I’d say that was a good day.

Today there will be the wood delivery and about three more packages, teaching in the afternoon, and more writing – I hope.

Woke up rather early and had breakfast. Then I went to the bakery to get some pastries for my husband and son for breakfast. They both get up later than me. And I don’t eat pastries for breakfast anymore because they make me feel bad around 11 am.

My husband and I talked, and then the boy had breakfast, and then I thought about getting a new sleep tracker/fitness tracker again. Because the company that made the one I’m using now has gone out of business. And so ask my stats are gone. So I thought about getting a Fitbit but those are pricey. I could ask to get one for my birthday but my birthday won’t be for two months.

I could also stop obsessing about data and tracking and just sleep and walk and live without that thing.

I helped my husband make pizza for lunch and we had wonderful wine again:

The wine was rich and dark and fruity and really great. Even the boy liked it. (Don’t worry, he just had a small sip. He still doesn’t really want to drink.)

Then I left the dishes and watched the Tour de Dauphiné-Prologue.

And then I procrastinated about writing yet again. Fun!

It took me about three hours to get about one hour of writing done. But at least I did write. And much more than I did all week. Butt in chair really works.

Then we had pizza for dinner as well (it doesn’t really taste good reheated the next day), and some more of that fabulous wine and then I had to wait for the boy to finish taking his shower until I could finally do the mountain of dishes.

Went to bed a little later than I wanted.

Today will be the first day of school and teaching again. Medium amount of students. Running. The usual.

So I called my mother on her mobile right away after breakfast. It seems that she had tried to send me a message before but it didn’t get through because of spotty wifi at the hospital. So she thought that I knew she was there.

Apparently she had an accident on Tuesday. She was riding her bike along a street and at a crossing there was a car. The car slowed down, she slowed down, she had right of way, she was sure the driver had seen her, so she went on crossing the street – and then she flew onto the car’s windshield and slid off the car’s hood.

The driver apparently hadn’t seen her. He did call the police and an ambulance and she was brought to the hospital. (I still don’t know which hospital she is at but I’m guessing the one in town.) She has loads of bruises, one of them severe enough that she had to have surgery on it on Friday. One of her lower vertebrae is broken but she says it’s way less sever than the one she broke back in November. And she broke her big toe.

My father, in his usual fashion, has not visited her or even called her on the phone, and has not told anybody.

My aunt is the one helping my mother and bringing her things like her toothbrush and nightgown and such.

I am trying hard not to dwell on what could have happened. I have the impression that she is well cared for, and it might be a good idea for her to stay in the hospital a little longer.

It is still a little surreal that she had the accident on Tuesday and I only heard about it on Friday. I’ll live, though.

I went running, and took a few different pictures that usual:

Proof that it was allergies that made me miserable while running is that the use of anti-allergy medication makes me non-miserable:

Then there was a delicious lunch again with superb Riesling:

The boy got to try a sip and said, “Tastes like alcohol. A little bit like champagne,” while I was busy exclaiming how fruity it was, and how mild, and that it reminded me of apricots. He probably thought ‘champagne’ because the one we usually drink is made from Riesling.

And yes, my husband fries everything in egg and breadcrumbs. And there is never enough broccoli because the packages of organic broccoli are rather small.

Then I procrastinated about writing for a few hours with rather meager results. And I managed to cut out the inlay for the dress I’ve been meaning to make for ages.

I sat in the garden while procrastinating, very nice.

Today there will be procrastinating about writing yet again, and reading and not much else, I think.