Archives for January 2018

So that was a full day.

My husband and I talked for pretty long right after breakfast, and then we both went running, and then we had to hurry to get lunch ready in time because the boy is coming home earlier on Mondays (and has to get back to school on time). Then I got ready for teaching, and sang.

That idea that the quiet I seek won’t come from sitting around alone but instead from getting a grip on everything I want and need to do kept popping up in my head. While running I had this thought that I needed to use something like Trello or Asana, and so I set up a Trello board between students in the afternoon.

But about an hour in I found that that was just not working, and so I started researching ways to integrate an epic to do-list with the bullet journal. That one looks more promising but then I ran out of time.

I also played all the instruments. My husband put a different guitar in my room. The one I usually use has nylon strings and those are a little too soft for when I’m accompanying myself, and while my very favorite guitar is also his very favorite guitar, and he plays it a lot more often we decided to put the one that we both don’t like all that much in my studio instead of an electrical one that I don’t have a use for.

And I think I might have decided on a song to play for the birthday concert. Which means practicing like crazy because I can’t really play it yet but I’m looking forward to it. (And I just realized that I should learn it by heart because I’m planning on wearing my contacts which means I can’t read anything at all. Oops. And I will have to practice at least once while wearing the clothes I’m planning to wear to make sure that nothing interferes with ukulele playing. Yesterday the ukulele kept slipping off my sweater and the wide sleeves got caught while playing.

The boy has started installing software on his new computer so things are looking good.

I only wrote 662 words just before going to bed, and I actually forgot about three other things that I had on my list of things to do for yesterday but I guess that’s alright.

Today I will go grocery shopping. I’ll be trying a different supermarket because the one I usually go to will be closing down in less than two weeks, and so there are a lot of things missing there already. The building is supposed to be torn down and rebuilt.

The other supermarket is farther away and I will probably use the bike to get there.

Then I will practice and continue my productivity research, and teach and do strength training. I hope. The boy and I have been skipping that a lot lately.

I don’t think I will sew today, don’t see that there’s time, but if my new ukulele strings arrive (as they should) I might restring a ukulele or two.

And no, I don’t have any idea why gettings things done is so much easier when I’m teaching either.

I don’t really know why yesterday went off the rails but off the rails it went.

I did write 1,151 words so that’s good.

My husband has started planning the house concert for his birthday in two weeks, and I was somewhat involved with that. Not enough, though, or so he tells me. He still has to send out invitations but we did talk about the music, and the food. („We can do some easy finger food and dips, that we can prepare two days in advance!“ „No we can’t because there are no plates and silverware in the room we’re using, and we won’t have time for cooking two days before. Or one day before. Or on the day.“)

It was decided that I will play one of the songs I already know on my own, and will learn how to play „Norwegian Wood“ on my ukulele. The good thing is that the problem I’m having with my ukulele sound might be due to the strings I’m using, and so I will try out new strings. I already ordered them. Ha.

The boy managed to build his computer up to the point where he can start installing the OS and the drivers. Which meant I got to help him on and off yesterday as well. At least he has solved the problem with the overheating processor.

It seems that a lot of the family happiness hinges on me being available for everybody else, and I spent the evening thinking about why I always feel like I never get to spend any time alone when in fact I have several hours on my own every single day. And then I remembered that when I went to London alone for a few days I still didn’t feel that I needed to see people.

So now I’m dreaming of a two week writing retreat. Of course.

I am having high hopes for this week, school and teaching is starting again so my days will have more structure and routine to them. Still, they will be rather full.

I feel like I didn’t write enough over Christmas break – which is true – but then my resolve to write at least 500 words a day is going strong, and I did 782 words on average last week. Every single day. Plus the blogging which is something between 300 and 700 words a day on top of that.

Still. I am feeling the need for a huge whiteboard and stacks of post-its and some ginormous master plan but I might have to make do with my bullet journal. There are a ton of things that are falling through the cracks each day, and that is not a good feeling.

Well, at least I did research ukuelel strings yesterday and recipes for salty baked things that you can eat with your fingers for next Saturday’s spinning meeting. That’s at least something.

Did more walking than running yesterday because I was so sore from the strength training the day before. Actually I still am.

I spent most of the afternoon waiting for the rehearsal for the song we’ll be playing at my husband’s birthday concert in two weeks which meant I did get a lot of reading done but not much more. I also helped the boy a little when he had problems with building his computer. My husband’s friend also told him a thing or two so now we’re hoping that everything will work properly going forward.

At least I did write about 800 words. Of course I had wanted to write a lot more but let’s just not talk about that.

I’m guessing that today will be more or less the same, last day of Christmas break, and I decided not to plan for anything special, I’ll just sit here reading, and maybe write my 500 words and that will be it.

I’m all about realistic plans. Bonus points for doing strength training even though my legs hurt so much that I’m avoiding moving from sitting to standing and back. But today would be mostly arms anyway. We’ll see.

I’m not quite sure I should be giving my days grades so much. In the end they are all pretty good, I’d say even the ones wehre I feel I have wasted time or where there was conflict.

So yesterday we started pretty late because of the birthday dinner the night before, and that influenced the whole day of course.

We had wonderful pasta e fagiole for lunch, and I sang and played the piano and I wrote 700 words. I also read for hours, and in the evening I spun while watching „Dollhouse“.

For once I did not skip strength trainng. It was legs and core day and I’m not quite sure I will be able to run today. I know that going out of my comfort zone is the only way to become stronger but well, it really is out of my comfort zone and I’m sore.

I have decided to skip cleaning for this week. Today I want to go for a run, and write, and make music, and not much else. I can mae plans to do all.the.things but I have a feeling that I’ll end up not doing the anyway, so I won’t.

I’m rather happy that this is the last weekend of Christmas break. It’s nice to have two weeks off but now I think I’m ready to go back to teaching and my regular routine again.

I like routine. I might have mentioned that.

Yeah, I did not manage to get anything done yesterday after lunch. I knew beforehand and my attempts at not falling into my usually trap did not work out. It didn’t help that my husband was somewhat freaked about that family thing in the evening.

I did write my 500 words, and I went running, and got ready in time for the birthday dinner but that was about it.

The dinner went much better than we had thought it would, naturally. That often happens when you’re dreading something. The food was great, I spent most of the evening talking with the boy and a nephew and his girlfriend, and it was all real nice.

I went to bed past midnight but managed to sleep until eight so that’s good. It did throw off my whole morning but there’s nothing I can do about that. And I’m feeling a little bad because of eating food that we didn’t cook ourselves. It is really easy to forget about the fructose-intolerance when not eating out. Not that the food at the restaurant wasn’t delicious, because it was.

Today I hope to just have a quiet day with all my routine stuff. It is almost noon so I have no idea if I will manage the Friday cleaning. My husband is out running at the moment which would be a perfect time to vacuum.

I am still contemplating finishing the first draft of the novel-in-progress until next week. That would mean writing for a little more than an hour each day starting today. No idea if I want to do that or not.

Other than that I would love to have lofty goals for the day but the way I’m feeling right now I think I’ll probably spend most of the afternoon sitting around reading yet again, so no use in making grandiose declarations.

Regular days are just the best.

All in all a pretty good day, can’t complain. I felt happy right from the start even though I only slept for something like 5 1/2 hours. But didn’t feel all tired. Weird.

Because the days before had been all sloth I pulled myself together and that felt really good.

Did not run because the weather was pretty sick. There was a storm and pelting rain. I briefly considered walking in the streets but even that felt too dangerous. Not even my husband went out in that. So I did the strength training I skipped the day before. And it was fun. Kind of. I’m sore all over.

I’ve been using the „Bodyweight“ app for my strength training, I also own the two books. And for a long time I’ve been doing the same program over and over, and nothing was changing. So I decided to up my game, and to start the ten week-program in the app. On the easiest setting. Well, I had to scale back some of the exercises because I couldn’t do them, and today I’m sore all over, so I count that as a win. And am looking forward to doing day 2 this afternoon. I also hope to go for a run in the morning.

I also thought some more about limiting beliefs and I think I found one. I always keep forgetting that one, and it is:

If I live up to my potential nobody will like my anymore.

As I said I keep forgetting about that one. And I think that is why I never mind making my goals public and then failing at them. Because I think it will make everybody else feel better. There are one or two people in my life who have made it clear that they like me better when I’m not too successful, by the way, that’s a very old story. But I’ll try to not believe that for the rest of my life.

„Oh, I could have done all the things that would have made me happy but then no one would have wanted to hang out with me. They like me better when I’m slightly unhappy (not too much, though).“ is not what I want to say looking back on my life.

Of course, now that I know, all my self-sabotaging will vanish without a trace. Yep. Sure.

I also wrote 700 words yesterday, not really what I wanted but enough to make my 500 words per day goal for January. And right now writing every day is a little more important than finishing this first draft fast.

And then, and that’s the really great thing, I actually pulled out the sewing machine. I mean, yes, I put it on the kitchen table and then sat next to it for two hours reading (Sarina Bowen is really, really good.) but then I started sewing the muslin for the Dottie Angel frock. And I’m even doing the ridiculously fussy seam treatments. The whole thing is finished inside and out. With bias tape over some seams and French seams in other places. I’m not quite sure that’s necessary but I will learn how to do this. And screw up the muslin. Let’s just say that top-stitching is not my forte.

And then I helped the boy with his paper a little, and for now it’s done – only one day late – and watched some „Dollhouse“ while spinning, and went to bed at a reasonable time.

I call that a win.

Today the plan calls for running, and practice, and writing, and hopefully strength training again (different muscle groups), and in the evening we’ll celebrate my mother-in-law’a 82nd birthday. I’ve been looking forward to the food in that restaurant for weeks now. Mind you, it’s just the Asian restaurant we always go to but I’ll be eating some extra-delicious shrimp that I only ever order on January 4th.

So a full day ahead. If I can avoid the „paralysis because I have to dress up and be somewhere in the evening“-trap after lunch I might be good.