Jan 042018

All in all a pretty good day, can’t complain. I felt happy right from the start even though I only slept for something like 5 1/2 hours. But didn’t feel all tired. Weird.

Because the days before had been all sloth I pulled myself together and that felt really good.

Did not run because the weather was pretty sick. There was a storm and pelting rain. I briefly considered walking in the streets but even that felt too dangerous. Not even my husband went out in that. So I did the strength training I skipped the day before. And it was fun. Kind of. I’m sore all over.

I’ve been using the „Bodyweight“ app for my strength training, I also own the two books. And for a long time I’ve been doing the same program over and over, and nothing was changing. So I decided to up my game, and to start the ten week-program in the app. On the easiest setting. Well, I had to scale back some of the exercises because I couldn’t do them, and today I’m sore all over, so I count that as a win. And am looking forward to doing day 2 this afternoon. I also hope to go for a run in the morning.

I also thought some more about limiting beliefs and I think I found one. I always keep forgetting that one, and it is:

If I live up to my potential nobody will like my anymore.

As I said I keep forgetting about that one. And I think that is why I never mind making my goals public and then failing at them. Because I think it will make everybody else feel better. There are one or two people in my life who have made it clear that they like me better when I’m not too successful, by the way, that’s a very old story. But I’ll try to not believe that for the rest of my life.

„Oh, I could have done all the things that would have made me happy but then no one would have wanted to hang out with me. They like me better when I’m slightly unhappy (not too much, though).“ is not what I want to say looking back on my life.

Of course, now that I know, all my self-sabotaging will vanish without a trace. Yep. Sure.

I also wrote 700 words yesterday, not really what I wanted but enough to make my 500 words per day goal for January. And right now writing every day is a little more important than finishing this first draft fast.

And then, and that’s the really great thing, I actually pulled out the sewing machine. I mean, yes, I put it on the kitchen table and then sat next to it for two hours reading (Sarina Bowen is really, really good.) but then I started sewing the muslin for the Dottie Angel frock. And I’m even doing the ridiculously fussy seam treatments. The whole thing is finished inside and out. With bias tape over some seams and French seams in other places. I’m not quite sure that’s necessary but I will learn how to do this. And screw up the muslin. Let’s just say that top-stitching is not my forte.

And then I helped the boy with his paper a little, and for now it’s done – only one day late – and watched some „Dollhouse“ while spinning, and went to bed at a reasonable time.

I call that a win.

Today the plan calls for running, and practice, and writing, and hopefully strength training again (different muscle groups), and in the evening we’ll celebrate my mother-in-law’a 82nd birthday. I’ve been looking forward to the food in that restaurant for weeks now. Mind you, it’s just the Asian restaurant we always go to but I’ll be eating some extra-delicious shrimp that I only ever order on January 4th.

So a full day ahead. If I can avoid the „paralysis because I have to dress up and be somewhere in the evening“-trap after lunch I might be good.

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