I think if somebody asked me that I’d slug them. It just seems to incredibly insensitive and rude!

And I don’t want to talk about my current refined sugar intake, especially in the evenings. Not pretty.

sigh

In the meantime you might as well have a suit that fits. No one can feel good about themselves in a suit that squeezes thigh in the wrong place, and you have to think your body is worth it to feed it the right stuff.

this spring, I tried eating well for about a week (though I’m not sure how strict I was) and nothing happened. Then I tried not drinking my one or two beers or mixed drinks in the evening, and I lost three pounds. I am still balking at fitting the exercise into my schedule.

Right now, at the early stage of the change, those conversations you have with yourself are key. Instead of allowing the self who wants to eat the wrong thing to win, you need to clearly state to yourself, “I want to eat healthy foods. I am not really hungry, etc.”

The other important aspect of making the commitment is planning ahead the foods you should eat and making them available, easy choices.

I know you know this as much as I know it, but this is where I fail – talking myself into the wrong choices, and being lazy about what I’m going to put in my mouth. Yesterday I was trying to think of something for breakfast, and drew a complete blank. I’ve forgotten everything that used to be second nature.

*sigh*

Was ist mit alkoholfreiem Bier?

Liebe Grüße,
PiaPessoa

Yes, buy the new bathing suit.

I am having a really hard time – maybe we can help each other again? I’ll be back!

a) Als meine beste Freundin im Februar aus Neuseeland zurückkam, hatte sie ca zehn Kilo zugenommen. Vorher war sie sehr, sehr schlank gewesen, sie hatte eine ziemliche Ballettänzerinnenfigur, jetzt ist sie mollig, rundlich und hatte ein Körbchen mehr Oberweite. Und sie sieht fantastisch aus damit, besser als vorher! Bei der Gelegenheit habe ich festgestellt, dass es einfach Menschen gibt, die rundlich schlicht besser aussehen als dünne, egal was die Medien einem eintrichtern wollen. (Ich habe übrigens diese Brigitte, von der du erzählt hast, hier rumliegen, und die Frau, die dünner aussehen wollte, war bereits äußerst schlank.)

b) Ich hatte auch mal eine seeeehr lange Phase, in der ich mir Klamotten eine Größe kleiner gekauft habe, weil ich mir dachte: wenn ich das Kleid vor Augen habe, dann bin ich motivierter abzunehmen! Pustekuchen. Sowas funktioniert nicht. Warum sollte man sich etwas kaufen, dass man im Moment nicht anziehen kann und dass einem hinterher ein schlechtes Gewissen machen könnte? Lieber das kaufen, was einem jetzt gefällt und sich drüber freuen.

So. Ich weiß nicht genau, was ich dir mit meinem ganzen Geschwafel mitteilen will, aber vermutlich versuche ich das hier auszudrücken: wenn du tatsächlich nicht mit deiner momentanen Figur leben kannst (also kein mollig-Mensch bist), dann fang wieder an, deine Essgewohnheiten zu ändern. Leicht gesagt, ich weiß, aber du hast es schon mal geschafft, also kannst du es noch ein zweites Mal schaffen. Du wirst es auch schaffen. Und wenn du es geschafft hast, kannst du dir Gedanken darüber machen, wie du es schaffen könntest, nicht wieder zuzunehmen.

Was im übrigen alle schreiben über Selbstbewusstsein &c ist gut und richtig, und ich finde: dass du so ehrliche Posts schreibt, beweist, dass du eine Menge Selbstbewusstsein und Selbstreflexionsfähigkeit besitzt. )

Ganz liebe Grüße

I love how you differentiated between “feeling fat” and actually “being fat” or getting heavy. That feeling of fat has everything to do with self-esteem.

Treat yourself well. Baby steps, which you sound like you are doing again. I think the best thing you did was experience the slow weight loss. It always comes back faster, but that slow weight loss, with the gradual changes will win in the end.

Thanks for this honest post.

Ah, self acceptance… something that eludes so many of us.

As to the weight–apparently you’ve already looked at the issue from a lot of perspectives. FWIW, this is mine: You’ve read, I’m sure, that your body has a physical “set point.” You eat a little bit more today, a little less tomorrow, blah, blah, blah, et cetera, and your body just hangs in there at its set point. So it takes a significantly better eating pattern, and/or significantly more exercise, over some time, to change anything. (Appetite and habit, I think, reinforce the physical setpoint. I think that that is why even though you may not eat much of anything at all when you have the flu, you don’t get a permanent weight loss out of those few days. Either your body stays right there just because it does, or you eat a bit more as you are recovering.)

So what I hypothesize is that you also have a mental setpoint. You know that you would never allow yourself to exceed (horrible, maximum) Point X, whatever Point X is for you–and so you never do, and you never will. But you do allow yourself to approach it, maybe reach it, because it is your absolute mental limit. So for long term success, it may be necessary to change your mental set point. Your mental Point X, which you will never ever ever exceed, has to be reset, lower. You’ve already dropped a kilo–so maybe now, tell yourself that you will never ever ever exceed where you are right now. And after you lose some more, move your mental set point down again.

I have a friend who has been planning to lose the same 5 pounds for the last 9 or 10 years. I think her mental set point is exactly where she is right now. She doesn’t ever go over it, but I will be amazed if she ever does lose those 5 pounds.

Yep, go for the too big swimsuit if you want to swim this summer. In September, recycle it. By then your set point will be low enough that you know you won’t want it next summer. Figure that with your sense of style, any summer dress you make, even if you don’t fit into it till a year from now, will still look great, because you are going to sew a timeless fashion.

Best wishes. (BTW, because of your post, I got curious and finally looked up and found what a kilo is, in pounds. Maybe, just maybe, you could encourage yourself more if you kept track of how many pounds you’ve lost?)

I guess the question you should ask yourself is do you want to go swimming this year? That will answer whether or not you buy a new bathing suit!