I know I posted a bit more frequently in Jan, but my goal is and remains to write only 3 posts a week and only 2 of them can be long, thoughtful pieces. I do that as much for my own sanity as for everyone else’s.

I feel bad about not commenting – a lot of times I get interrupted and have no time to comment on a post I really enjoyed. Sometimes I am just slamming through and feel like I’m so late that everything has been said already.

But I love my commenters, and they make me feel happy, so I read their blogs. And I try to comment. Me me me.

Sigh.

Don’t these three rules solve all your blogging problems?

Plus, I think virtual friendship is completely equal to physical friendship. My own friends are mostly gathered from the net, dammit. That’s just a new social phenomenon, a consequence of the virtual net of communication woven all over this planet. Think of it as sci-fi.
But if you need actual friends around yourself, get together with at least the german ones, meet once a year somewhere, declare it as holidays. It’s terrible when friendships break just because you don’t see each other anymore.

I vacillate whether it’s true that an unwillingness to commit to “real” relationships is what makes online friends appealing. It’s much more layered and complex than that, as I’m sure B&P’s post was (I read it, but it was quite a while ago, and I’m not that mindful).

It’s certainly real enough that it’s part of the stress of blogging for me. This sense of “where do I fit in this person’s world,” if at all? How important is this person to me and how do I measure up? Are we anywhere near equal? Does it hurt or bother me when someone else doesn’t return an interest at all (never reciprocates), or stops commenting after having been a commenter, or reads so many blogs that their comments feel at once too weighty yet transitory.

And obviously I’m not the only one who feels something like this, so I have to worry then about my own commenting patterns.

Oh, but this is supposed to be fun.

balance.

LOL

I sit here, sleeping toddler on my lap. I have run school runs (or biked, rather), done two loads of laundry, some work, emergency babysat a friend’s child in a, well, emergency, tried to resolve two false charges on my credit card and you know that’s two hours right there, gone through homework with elder, entertained younger, read books with kids, supervised snack and now am preparing to meet friends to go see 27 Dresses. Oh yeah unpacked CSA delivery and did dishes. Changed out sheets on bed. Dusted living room. Did exercises.

Is that a lot?

Oh yeah.

And wrote a Hump Day Hmm, read and commented to all contributors, and visited the blogs of each kind person (70 something) who gave me well wishes about my dog.

Mindful blogging?

Beyond necessary.

I do not know how this compares. I keep my reader at ~ 100 blogs. I dedicate 10-20% of those to professional blogs in my career. That means publishing and writing and editing tidbits. These are read and note take blogs more than comment. The rest are blog buddies. I can maybe comment to half of them?

So that’s a lot. To me. But a mere fraction.

Some days I skip the reader and just do read and comment from last blog post commenters, such as today. I generally comment when very compelled or to people I have a “buddy” thing with.

I hope this doesn’t sound mean.

I just have to keep it manageable. I see wonderful bloggers, see them commenting, see us crossing paths in the same places, making interesting comments. But my life? Time is tight.

I do subscribe to your blog and read in reader. I’m sorry I don’t comment much.

Then there are other factors too.

I am also conscious of worry of “reciprocal obligation.” KWIM?

I realize I am long and thinky (source cite: this comment and my own blog) and will ramble on and on at a good post. That’s time for all.

So I assign ridiculous and arbitrary rules to suit what I need, such as “no commenting past 20 unless Very Good Reason to Do So. never past 50, preferably Top 10.”

See? Silly. But it is a parameter.

I adore comments. I am wowed when I get 20, more is…wowwowow. I love being fed in comments.

But I also appreciate chances just to read.

So I’m glad I relieved you and I think your approach is wise. But I also like to let people know their words go somewhere and are valuable.

So consider yourself told.

(P.S. It is “she.” Imagine verb after: “her is” sounds awkward and wrong. “She is” sounds proper.)

Mine are kind of the opposite: my boys play together nicely when we first get up, so I log on for a bit to check emails, news, comments, etc. And nap time can be computer time for a bit… and I like to surf in the evenings, my primary reading time. ButI just do what I can… I don’t always comment, but I do try to check in to see how everyone I really like is doing. But I don’t feel bad if I just have to clear out the reader and start over… life happens, and I don’t want to miss that either.

And one of these days, I am going to make it to Munich and we are going to have tea/coffee. Maybe even twice! We just have to sort out the job/money/what to do with the wee ones thing…

I am thankful when people don’t post every day. I guess i try to do more mindful blog posting than mindful blog reading.

Also, i am much less likely to comment on a blog if it has word verification.