Sep 142007

Dear De,

I don’t know if you can access your e-mail at the moment, and so I’m writing to you here: happy birthday to you.

I think it was about a year ago that we first met through our computers. I had seen your comments on a lot of blogs that I liked. I got curious because those comments were so friendly and thoughtful and personal. So I started reading your blog too. I loved it. I decided that I wanted to come back and read all of your archives, something I don’t do very often. I went back and found that I actually had read every single post when I visited for the first time. Then you started commenting on my blog. You were the first regular commenter I had.

I just read through the e-mails we have written to each other and found one where I wrote that I felt like I had found a new friend in you. This is what I wrote:

There’s a reason why your blog is the second one on my blogroll. What you have written has resonated with me. When I first came to it I wanted to read all your archives. then I sat down with a cup of tea and found that I already had read all there was, because you had been blogging for such a short time. Then you started commenting on my blog and I told my husband, “I think I made a new friend.” Though I’m never sure how much we know about each other if we’re reading only our blogs and comments. On the other hands I have a friend whom I haven’t seen for two years. Maybe I know more of what’s going on in your life at the time that I know of her (We haven’t been e-mailing or calling each other either.).

The last year hasn’t been easy for you. You were often feeling low, you lost a friend, and now you have moved into a new house that hasn’t quite become home yet. You and I are no longer sending e-mails to each other daily. First you decided that real life should get more attention and then it was my turn to put family and life outside of blogs first. I’m very happy that you have a blog again and it’s always a pleasure to receive a comment from you. You are one of the people who make the blogosphere feel like a friendly and warm place. You are such a generous person that you paid tribute to commenters by creating the gratitude button.

I feel like I should be a better blogger friend and show up on your blog on time and for once write something a little more than, “Love your post, will come back and write something intelligent later.” only to never return. But then I always feel like I should do more of everything and that would be very hard indeed.

In the past year you have made my life richer and less lonely and I’d like to thank you for that. I hope your next year will be pleasant and happy. That you and your family will stay healthy, and that your new home will soon be finished and comfortable. Maybe we’ll never meet in real life, and blogging friendships are a fragile thing but I wish you well and hope to continue being friends with you. So, while I’m here and you’re there and we can’t sit at the same table in real life, have a piece of cake on me, or two if you like. (In fact, since it isn’t a real cake, why not imagine eating all of it. And have a glass or two of champagne with it…)


(And if anybody reading here doesn’t know De (which I almost can’t imagine), you can find her blog here: “Shily, Shall I Dilly-Dally?” formerly known as “Sober Briquette. A Dour Bit of Carbon. Under Pressure.” or “Sober Briquette“. And if you only read one thing she wrote (and I doubt you will) read her take on the “10 things I love about me”-meme, the banana split post.)

  10 Responses to “Birthday letter to sober briquette”

  1. oh wow.

    this, you, De…all of it.

    this is what we’ve managed to find in a place like this, isn’t it. this deep love for each other. it matters so much.

    Happy Birthday De. i love you guys.

  2. What a lovely homage to the friendships that we make here in this new, wild, unpredictable space.

    And happy birthday to De.

    You’re both wonderful.

  3. I know. She is all that.

  4. What a darling post, and what an amazing homage to a friend.

  5. This made me cry a little, in a wonderful way. Seeing that such gentle caring exists makes me feel stronger.

  6. That is the nicest thing i have read in quite a while. And all true.

    I wish i had written it, but you did. Thanks.

  7. This is very nice. I’m glad that you and she have such a strong connection. Blogging is great.

  8. Thank you so much. (I do have email again & I put the new email address on my blogger profile.)

    Who’s the bad blogger, now, showing up three days late? The RSS reader that comes with my o/s acts up occasionally, and has been telling me that I have 674 unread posts, so I’ve been ignoring it.

    Let’s just pretend I was partying like crazy in exotic locations. (ok, I’ve been sick with a cold AND getting ready to have 30 guests on Sunday, which went well!)

    I’m starting to get my energy back and am adjusting to Fiona being in school every day most of the day. Today she was fine and I cried when I drove away.

    My desk is surrounded by piles of paperwork, but I’m glad I took a few minutes to check in… I was thinking of you yesterday because my mother got me a zippered jacket in a shade of terracotta I’m sure you’d love.

  9. She is such a darling girl. I’m glad both of you are in my life!

  10. This is such a lovely way to wish De a Happy Birthday!

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