Apr 152007
 

Lately I have been a little reluctant to post on this blog. At first I didn’t know why. Was it wrong to stop posting in German too? Was it because my husband started reading it? Was it because I had declared this to be my main creative outlet?

I found the reason only yesterday. It has to do with blogging as my main creative outlet. Following my new principle of acknowledging what is, I had stopped pretending that I wanted nothing but write songs and honored my actual commitment by saying that right now writing words is more important to me than music. My life had reflected on this for months. The blog had been the only thing that I did with any consistency. So why should there be a problem apart from a little hurt pride because I couldn’t fool myself into thinking that I’m really a songwriter underneath all my everyday activities.

But something obviously nagged me. When I started this blog my “mission statement” (I never really had one) was to write about my life, about the struggle to attempt parenting, chores, work and making music. I wanted to inspire other mothers. I wanted to show how one can be creative, be a musician and a songwriter while having a full life on top of that.

It didn’t matter that I failed all the time, at least I tried.

But now I have stepped back from the attempt of having it all, and I’m in the process of rebuilding my life on a new foundation. People first, then one or maybe two other things a day and that’s it. For now.

While this feels exactly right I also feel like I have let everybody down. I’m not wonder woman, I can’t do it all, and I’m feeling much better for it. But somewhere deep inside of me I wondered what I have to offer to the blogosphere.

Don’t fear, I won’t quit but now you know why I have been a little reluctant lately. I think I’ll have to find a new mission statement. You know, this is my blog, I can change my mission if I want to.

How about those of you with blogs, do you have a mission? Or even without a blog, what do you think is the one thing that you can give to the world?

I’ll let you know if I know it myself.

  22 Responses to “Reluctancy”

  1. As a long time web professional, I’m feeling much burned out by the whole thing. All the generalizations of “blogosphere” these days make me roll my eyes – so much of it has become about male dominated status.

    I think it comes down to you and your place to write.

  2. As a long time web professional, I’m feeling much burned out by the whole thing. All the generalizations of “blogosphere” these days make me roll my eyes – so much of it has become about male dominated status.

    I think it comes down to you and your place to write.

  3. You’ve let no one down and you should emulate only yourself.

  4. You’ve let no one down and you should emulate only yourself.

  5. Really like what dee says as far as the generalisations being passed around. Recently, I read a very good and informative post about the 20 things you should do to make your blog better (http://www.idratherbewriting.com/2007/04/09/twenty-usability-tips-for-your-blog-%e2%80%94-condensed-from-dozens-of-bloggers-experiences/). I’m sure the tips are all good and all generally known or practiced. Unfortunately, I don’t think my blog complies to any of the 20 tips. This has got me thinking about why I write and to whom I want to write.

    Maybe it just takes some of us longer to figure out what our visions are and to find our way around. I’d love to say, “Hier bin ich!”, but even after a year and a half of blogging, I don’t know what my blog is. That is quite unsettling.

    Like flutter says, as long as you emulate your honest being, who cares…

  6. Really like what dee says as far as the generalisations being passed around. Recently, I read a very good and informative post about the 20 things you should do to make your blog better (http://www.idratherbewriting.com/2007/04/09/twenty-usability-tips-for-your-blog-%e2%80%94-condensed-from-dozens-of-bloggers-experiences/). I’m sure the tips are all good and all generally known or practiced. Unfortunately, I don’t think my blog complies to any of the 20 tips. This has got me thinking about why I write and to whom I want to write.

    Maybe it just takes some of us longer to figure out what our visions are and to find our way around. I’d love to say, “Hier bin ich!”, but even after a year and a half of blogging, I don’t know what my blog is. That is quite unsettling.

    Like flutter says, as long as you emulate your honest being, who cares…

  7. ah. a mission. what a good question…

    i think mine is increasing the connectivity. but then one might ask if i am achieving my mission…and i have no idea.

    thanks for keeping us updated to what you are working through.

  8. ah. a mission. what a good question…

    i think mine is increasing the connectivity. but then one might ask if i am achieving my mission…and i have no idea.

    thanks for keeping us updated to what you are working through.

  9. I have no particular mission, just to amuse myself and to connect with some truly wonderful people.

    So take your time and work it out and do it however is best for you.

  10. I have no particular mission, just to amuse myself and to connect with some truly wonderful people.

    So take your time and work it out and do it however is best for you.

  11. I have no mission either. I started out writing the blog for my daughter to have some day. Now I just write to make myself happy. If I stop enjoying the writing, then I’m bound to stop blogging. I also like the community aspect to blogging. It keeps me from feeling so alone in my house and in my head.

  12. I have no mission either. I started out writing the blog for my daughter to have some day. Now I just write to make myself happy. If I stop enjoying the writing, then I’m bound to stop blogging. I also like the community aspect to blogging. It keeps me from feeling so alone in my house and in my head.

  13. I like your writing and I like making podcasts with the pieces that you do write. You are making a contribution even if it is not musical… we all have multiple talents and you are lucky to have the talent to write words and music…. I like drawing but I find that I cycle and sometimes I like drawing and sometimes I will not pick up a brush for months but will pick up a pen instead. There are no rules and this is your life. Have fun writing and I look forward to reading what you write when you feel like writing it.

  14. I like your writing and I like making podcasts with the pieces that you do write. You are making a contribution even if it is not musical… we all have multiple talents and you are lucky to have the talent to write words and music…. I like drawing but I find that I cycle and sometimes I like drawing and sometimes I will not pick up a brush for months but will pick up a pen instead. There are no rules and this is your life. Have fun writing and I look forward to reading what you write when you feel like writing it.

  15. Susanne, you’re just starting over. You said it yourself – this is the process of rebuilding. It will take some time. You may find that it doesn’t work. There’s no harm done. Just try again until you figure out what does work for you.

    For myself, I have very low expectations of any creative outlet. The way I was brought up, creativity is a “hobby,” and not a way in which you find success or fulfillment. And that’s fine with me, because I am a mediocre person. Thank God there is some other way I can make a life for myself.

  16. Susanne, you’re just starting over. You said it yourself – this is the process of rebuilding. It will take some time. You may find that it doesn’t work. There’s no harm done. Just try again until you figure out what does work for you.

    For myself, I have very low expectations of any creative outlet. The way I was brought up, creativity is a “hobby,” and not a way in which you find success or fulfillment. And that’s fine with me, because I am a mediocre person. Thank God there is some other way I can make a life for myself.

  17. Exactly what flutter said. You do amazing work. None of us can, should be, or should even try to be an alleged super woman in the do it all sense of the term. I tend to think more in terms of having it all, maybe just not all at once! go easy on yourself!

  18. Exactly what flutter said. You do amazing work. None of us can, should be, or should even try to be an alleged super woman in the do it all sense of the term. I tend to think more in terms of having it all, maybe just not all at once! go easy on yourself!

  19. I know exactly what you mean, but hey you inspire me! I am not sure if you remember but you left a post on my blog urging me to sign up for NaNoWriMo. If you can get through THAT along with being a mum, work, household chores and writing songs, you are DEFINITELY doing something write (hehe..bad pun). Honestly, all of us push ourselves way too hard. Have your read Walden – Henry Thoreau – his mission was SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY…easier said than done!

  20. I know exactly what you mean, but hey you inspire me! I am not sure if you remember but you left a post on my blog urging me to sign up for NaNoWriMo. If you can get through THAT along with being a mum, work, household chores and writing songs, you are DEFINITELY doing something write (hehe..bad pun). Honestly, all of us push ourselves way too hard. Have your read Walden – Henry Thoreau – his mission was SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY…easier said than done!

  21. After my post today, I’ve been wondering how a sense of mission relates to the subject of happiness. Do we pursue a mission because it makes us happier today? Or because we hope/believe that fulfilling the mission will make us happier in the future? Or is the value of the mission go beyond simply making us happy?

  22. After my post today, I’ve been wondering how a sense of mission relates to the subject of happiness. Do we pursue a mission because it makes us happier today? Or because we hope/believe that fulfilling the mission will make us happier in the future? Or is the value of the mission go beyond simply making us happy?

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